The g/f "oopsed" me into parenthood by "forgetting" to take her birth control. She said adoption or abortion wasn't an option, so I tried to be supportive. But this kid is a little bastard: it cries and whines and stinks. I wasn't cut out for parenthood. What does one do in this situation?
2006-12-05 10:31:44 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
1. oops 55 up, 18 down
(v) to engage in sexual intercourse with the intent, unbeknownst to the partner, of causing a pregnancy. This word is used specifically in instances where one partner believes that birth control is intact or being used, while the other has damaged/removed birth control without the knowledge or consent of the first partner, for an ulterior motive such as forcing the partner into a shotgun wedding situation as a means of securing the partner as a mate, or producing a child that the partner does not yet/ever want. This may include but is not limited to intentionally missing the Pill, removing diaphragms, or poking holes in a condom. Although more commonly done by women, men have also engaged in oopsing.
Oopsing involves an obscene abuse and betrayal of the partner's trust, not to mention the objectification of the partner into someone whose plans to remain childless, for whatever reason, no longer matter.
2006-12-05 10:43:50 · update #1
Now, don't you wish you had just settled for a hand job instead?
2006-12-05 10:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Help pay for the child support. It's very hard raising a child without any support from the father. I know. I've been doing it for 16 years now, and unless she has an education, she is going to have a rough time. Have you ever thought about taking parenting classes? Maybe YOU are what the child needs. You didn't say the age of the child, but if he/she is a toddler, and their needs aren't being met, they will cry and whine. The stink part, well, learn how to give the child a bath yourself and if the Mother doesn't have a clue either, maybe both of you should attend parenting classes. Good Luck.
2006-12-05 10:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by docie555@yahoo.com 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so you got caught. It may or may not be 'her' fault. I could be a mother and say " You were having unprotected sex weren't you?" But you stuck around, and were trying. You obviously were cut out for parenting, as you are a parent. No matter how much that kid whines and cries, he knows that you are an important part of his (or her) life. Even during its time in the womb, he heard you from inside. It knows your voice, smell and touch. To take yourself away from him will affect him, and I urge you go now if that is what you are choosing to do, this will minimize the affect on him.
You could choose to be a part of his life on a part time basis, if you work out custody arrangements with your g/f. You could always ask someone to help you, you are still young and need to learn about why a baby cries. You could do nothing and go crazy and damage the innocent child with your negative attitude.
Consider stepping out of the situation and being a parent to him in other ways. Sending them every spare dime you have will at least keep you from being a deadbeat. You are emotionally vested in this child, and will suffer if you remove yourself completely from the situation.
2006-12-05 13:01:12 · answer #3 · answered by Fernie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can sit here and call you all these nasty names and tell you to leave get out of the childs life...
take a breath step back and look at the situation, you created a life, a person who needs you... do you really want to sign away your rights and walk away... you will never see there first steps, there first words, them saying daddy I love you, being there when they start school, or when they start driving, when they graduate high school and go to college get married, and have kids of their own, you will regret it...
i know your tired, and need sleep, but you cant just make a child and walk away, they will never know you.... leave the mother... not the child, its not the childs fault that she "oopsed" you, give the kid a chance to have a dad in their life... its the best thing you will have ever done in your life...
Go hold your child, and settle down, think about it before you do it.... YOUR A DAD... I mean really.... you couldn't ask for anything better....
good luck... and God bless
2006-12-05 11:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once upon a time, You were a little "bastard" who cried whined and stank. You still are whining and crying, I wonder if you still stink?
Someone very possibly treated you with the same lack of patience and parental love you're showing your own child. Maybe thats why you are repaying the favor.
This child is part of you, and your attitude is going to cause Jr. to have serious problems relating to others as an adult.
Don't f**k up an innocent life to punish a gf you "think" lied to you.
2006-12-05 10:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by chocolahoma 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all why didnt u use a condom and second of all ur just as responsible as the mother. No child is a bastard and what do u want a baby to do be born doing everything. Soak up ur pride and be a father to ur child. It wasnt the childs choice to be here remember that.
2006-12-05 10:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not just her fault, it is also yours. Hopefully you are not around the child, because I cannot imagine how you would treat him/her. I think the best thing for you is to pay child support. You cannot say you tried to be supportive, calling this child a bastard, whine and stinks?? Because that is not someone who tried. Kids are annoying, but you gotta live with it. Remember he/she is just a child. They all whine and stink. Hopefully you will learn to use more protection next time.
2006-12-05 10:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by lenguyen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you grow up - but that would be pointless.
Don't have sex if you can't handle the responsibility.
I think you should just take off, abandon your kid. Then you too be one of those loser c*cksuckers that mothers have to chase for the next 18 years to get $25 in child support a month. That is the beauty of it though - your stuck. You will always be responsible for him. Don't pay child support. See what happens.
That's your DNA laying there crying, whining and stinking. Sounds to me that he's just like his daddy - maybe that's why he bothers you so much.
A real man takes care of his kids. Of course, we can't expect that of you.
2006-12-05 10:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by Chula 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sign over all rights and, if you don't want to be a part of the kids life I am sure she doesn't want you to stick around, I know I didn't want my fist childs dad to be ready and willing just because I was, we weren't married and had no plans on being with each other, when my child that is now 7 wants to find her dad she will, and then she can talk to him about it. So just be prepared to make you decision and live with the choice you make.
P. S. at 3 we found a tumor in her brain, and she had to have brain surgery and he was no where around nor did he care so if one day you find out your child died and you weren't around how would you feel???
2006-12-05 10:37:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer Dalpe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pay your child support and go on your way. From the sounds of it the child will be a lot better off. "A little bastard"? That's a pretty messed up thing to say even if you want nothing to do with the child. That is your flesh and blood no matter what!!!!
2006-12-05 10:36:48 · answer #10 · answered by dolph 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
At least you admit to not liking the child...Please leave there as fast as possible..your resentment towards the child may cause you to be abusive to him. Be a man and pay your child support. Sign off all rights to the child,so that a man who is ready to be a parent can adopt this child, if the mother so desires.
2006-12-05 10:38:23 · answer #11 · answered by justme 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋