tim has joint custody of 2 children age 6 and 8 with his ex.she hates me because i married tim(no he did not leave her for me)and her kids love me.i can't stand her because she bad mouths me to my inlaws infount of the kids but most of all she is constantly trying to keep me out of the kids lifes.example i am not to have ANY contact with the girls school,teacher,freinds.i am not allowed to take the girls to the mall,to see thier grandma or even just watch them at home.if tims not there they have to go home to her.ignoring her is not that easy as we live in the same town and almost every weekend and alot of weeknights the girls have something going on(sports,school fuction)which his ex always goes to and hangs around tim so by avoiding her i would miss out on alot of time with tim.i can't fault him for being good dad and this is the reason he will not stand up to her.he will not say anything to her as to avoid conflict for his kids.tims hates her to but puts up with her for the kids.
2006-12-05 10:30:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
simply stay away from her. you know what they say ...out sight , out of mind. just let the ol' man deal with her when he picks up the kids an brings them home. you really don't have to be present at that time.
2006-12-05 10:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has no control over your home envoronment. Tell her if she wants to keep you from watching the kids to tell that to the judge, who will laugh her out of court - or give full custody to Tim due to her immaturity....So, if you want to take the kids somewhere, take them. If you are not mistreating the kids, she has no complaint that will hold up.
By all means, go to the ballgames and other things the kids are involved in. You are helping in raising these kids and nobody that counts says that you can not attend these events. Go to the pick-up and drop-offs. She needs to get use to seeing you, after all, you are going to be around for a VERY long time. But tell Tim that HE has got to stay away from her and ignore her when she tries to hang around. Eventually she will get the message.
It's not easy. Be loving with Tim, but make sure he respects you by having no contact with her unless it concerns the kids.
2006-12-05 10:52:38 · answer #2 · answered by Wildflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my husband and I got married he told his ex-wife that she was just going to have to deal with the fact that their is another women in the kids lives. We were together for 8 years before he recently passed away and the first 2 years were difficult, but a routine becomes established. If I was you I would speak to her with your husband in the room. Maybe if you step up to the plate and let her know how you feel and remind her that the common ground is the well being of their children maybe she will eventually come around to seeing things in a different light. Or you could try to find another man for her (ha,ha).
2006-12-05 12:55:43 · answer #3 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let the kids see the conflict or at least as much as possible. As much as he does not want to, Tim has to stand up to her. Unless you have given her a reason to not like you, she is probably jealous. Temporary fixes are always possible but to truly handle the situation, Tim needs to stand up to her. Also, if you are close to your inlaws, ask them how they feel about her badmouthing you or tell them that you are uncomfortable with it.
2006-12-05 10:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately for you, you will have to deal with her. As long as your husband is passive about her behavior, she will continue her bad mouthing about you. You did not go into detail about your husband and his ex-wife's reason for divorce. My guess it was bitter and she is jealous of you. I feel that you are trying to be supportive of your husband and his children but, until he deals with her, you will have to back off for a while. He loves you and she is trying to make you angry. Kill her with kindness and be good to your step-children. Try not to avoid her because then she will not get the picture that you are there to stay. I wish you well. Time heal all wounds. And sooner or later she will lose her jealous streak.
2006-12-05 10:41:16 · answer #5 · answered by VON 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not your problem, it is your husbands. He is allowing his former spouse to dictate his new marriage. HE needs to grow a backbone and set boundaries. He should be making the choices that will best work for his marriage. How dare he ALLOW this person to treat his WIFE so badly?
If your husband wants his marriage to you to work , he better get things in order.
2006-12-05 10:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from her. You are like salt in her wound.
2006-12-05 10:39:30 · answer #7 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋