I really don't like my husband's friend???

Question

I really don't like my husbands friends:
1. they are much older than me
2. They try to run all over me
3. They are boring
4. They think they are better than me, and therefore, try to be mean to me
5. They don't really like to include me
6. I believe them to be bad influence of my husband because everytime he goes out with them, he does thinks I don't like. And his friends still support him on that.

My problem is that, there are times where he wants me to hang out and travel with him and his friends during my vacations (and I don't get many of those because I am full time college student)...and it is just frustrating because I rather spend time doing something I like when I am free. I feel like it is bringing us apart. Because all I say is, you can go if you like. Sometimes he goes, and sometimes he doesn't. I feel like I am holding him back from his friends, but then he also does things with them I don't like when I am not there. So, what should I do?

Answer 1

If he really loves you, he should be willing to reduce (give up) the time with his old friends, and make new ones together

Answer 2

Every year try really hard to acquire decent friends that YOU like, and that accept you two as a couple!
For every "vacation" your husband wants to go on with his friends, invite as many of your new friends to come along.
And every time these blowhorns come over, have just as many OTHER people there in the house.
Then,
1. These jerks will see that you two as a couple have a full social life without them
2. The dynamics will be diluted
3. Your husband will get immediate perspective
and
4. Over the years, these first "friends" WILL drift away.
Remember, a lot of Quality over trumps the Dregs.

Answer 3

If your marriage is important to you, don't try to change your husband or his friends - they were there before you; but work on changing your attitude about them. The kinds of friends we have reflects our own nature; if your husband enjoys the company of certain people, it would help if you accepted it. It would not be right if all your husband wanted to do is for the two of you to hang out with his friends. You have to have time for the two of you as a couple, including going on vacations as a couple. But if every once in a while he wants you to keep him company as he's out having fun with this friends - bite the bullet and go; it's selfish not to. I'm sure he, too, does things for you that he would not be otherwise doing.

Answer 4

Your husband should be willing to take you in priority over his friends. This is very detrimental to your relationship and in trying to keep his goodtimes with his buddies, he's also neglecting your emotions and your wishes, making you feel last when you should be first. You should both try to find mutual friends who can accept you as a couple, not as the "spouse". I was in a similair position. Unfortunately it was my wife who wouldn't "check" her friends. Now it's too late. I'll be packing my bags when the time is right. Hopefully when I'm ready I can find someone who values more mutual friendships and harmony in love.

Answer 5

Dog gone it!! You are his wife and you should come first. Tell him to get his priorities straight or you'll start going out and leaving him home. See how he likes it.

Answer 6

my husbands friends are all drunks and i don't care for them either, of course he wants to go over there and watch the game every sunday and leave me with the kids. ugh... maybe he will outgrow them, not much you can do, he'll blame you if you drive them away. maybe try to introduce him to other guys??

Answer 7

tell him what u just told everyone else u should b his priority