Please help me. I am gonna lose my mind.?

Question

My wife is horrible in bed. I do talk with her about spicing up our marriage but she is selfish and doesn't even want to attempt to please me. She has an orgasm every time we have sex but i dont get the same result all the time.The look she has on her face when we are having sex is like- Would u hurry up and get off me. I told her that i feel this way, but still she does nothing. Everything I try do is benefiting her and she is happy and i get a shitty attitude when i bring this up to her. I am going crazy. But most of all I want to have an affair to really see if I am the 1 that sucks in bed. If that is so then I know why she acts that way, but if not I am getting a divorce. Please help me.

Answer 1

Most men in the US and much of the rest of the western world live in a sex prison. Their wives won't sleep with them because by dangling sex in front of him, the wife can make her husband do whatever she wants.

In addition, she is likely cheating on you with a more "exciting" man. This will usually be a drug user of some description, or someone who might be considered "dangerous". The situation has developed that 90% of the women are chasing 10% of the men. This 10% obviously includes the rich men, but also includes the men who are capable of actually controlling the women who seek them out - those that have no respect for the women they are having sex with.

She IS trying to deter you from having sex with her, going by your description. That is, she is actively trying to defeat your efforts. This has NOTHING to do with how good you are as a lover or how good she is. Sex therapy cannot solve this either. She may in fact be trying to PUSH you towards divorce. This is a financial bonanza for a woman as she suddenly has access to the man's assets accumulated over a lifetime and can request more from the court at any time.

Only you can solve this by taking charge. However, if your wife has decided on that divorce then there may be no escape. It is time to start protecting your assets and to look at how best to ensure she cannot touch you legally.

Answer 2

I am pretty sure I do not need to say this, but sex for a woman is affected by everything that goes on in your relationship. If you really want to try first before you seek other solution like divorce, my suggestion would be to pamper her more. Spoil her and bring up a little fire in your life, not that I claiming you don't have one. It is very much possible there is a problem either in your relationship or in bed. She could possibly not know how to please you.

It takes some time and the right person for some people to learn how to be good in bed. Hey do everything on your part before you make a decision.
1- Cook dinner for her,
2- Give her a full body massage,
3- Put some nice scented candles in your room,
4- Create a romantic night,
5- Bring some flowers to her.

This list can go on and on. Just do something out of ordinary, you know you wife better. And observe how it affects your sex life. This will definitely give you clues as to what is going on.

Plus after all that you will have the upper hand to bring up your problem.

Did you know the number one reason, more than half of the marriages that go down, is a sex related issue that was not communicated or miscommunicated?

Well good luck man. Like I said do your best and if does not work out, you will be guilt free. And no do not cheat on your wife. It will not prove anything to you. It is all about body chemistry and the relationship between the individuals.

Answer 3

I hated having sex with my first husband. I married very young the first time and didn't know what an orgasm was as I hadn't had one. I faked them for many years with him and had the same attitute your wife is having. I couldn't wait till it was over because it was a waste of time.

After I divorced him, I found a guy who could make me have one and now I enjoy it more than ever.

Instead of complaining I would be doing more to turn her on, because apparently she isn't being turned on.

Women also have issues that can come to play in the bedroom. I would try being her Romeo and try getting her to fall in love with you again and do something to her to curl her toes in the bed. No woman can be that frigid with the right man.

She may be taking her resentment of your NEEDS to the bedroom.................try making sure that you doing what you need to do because I can't tell you how many women that I know who have never had an orgasm. It takes direct clitoral stimulation for roughly 12 to 15 minutes. If you are not giving her that she probably isn't having an orgasm and it may be you who isn't good in bed and she may be mad at you for being worried about yourself.

Answer 4

She could possibly not enjoy sex and is only going through the motions. She could have a low sex drive. she could like everrytyhing else in teh marriage but that. by her not even wanting to try and spice or help change things tells me she's not really into it oh yeah and the dead give away with her look of hurry up are you almost finnished.

I'm sorry for you my dear

Answer 5

Is she self-involved in other aspects of life, or just in bed? If she is just selfish by nature and thinks only of her, leaving you to fend for yourself, then leave. No sense in spending the rest of your life giving and giving- you will eventually run out of energy. I know, I'm there. If it is just the sex thing that gets her self-involved, maybe a counselor could help you two work through this... You know the whole story, so only you can make a sound decision, but choose wisely. There are lifelong repercussions to all of those choices. Good luck!!! ♥

Answer 6

wow... such a tough situation. I believe this problem is the result of something more deeper in your relationship. Have you guys tried therapy, counseling? Getting into another relationship to prove whether you are the one with the problem is not the answer. It will only create others. Please seek professional help. It has helped in my marriage more than once.

Answer 7

She has an orgasm everytime and you think you suck in bed??Duh! Don't have the affair unless you want to end your marriage.
Therapy - I agree with the others.

Answer 8

Sex therapy time.
You need to find out what the problem is.