We are part of a swingers group, we have made some really good friends in this group and have had our fantasies fulfilled. Now this group regularly meets once a month in different bars/pubs in town and the evening starts out as just a group of friends hanging out. But as the alcohol starts to kick in some in the group get really crazy and embarass some of us within the group by flaunting why they are there. They start going at it or trying to with whoever is near them and some even end up getting areas "tended" to in the bar...a public place.
Now I am in no way a prude but we choose to be discrete about our lifestyle choice and don't want to flaunt it around. I understand some people are open with their choices but how can we remain discreet without losing our new friends? I get especially uncomfortable when advances are made on me without my permission.
Or should we continue to just walk away and stay on the other side of the room and risk upsetting some?
2006-12-05 09:29:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yea Ive been there before. We used to go to several clubs and once the alcahol got flowing people acted really stupid and embarassing. Women using the mens bathroom, people getting all touchy feely with everyone... just seems like its common in swinging. Ultimatley we just decided that going out in larger gatherings with other swingers was just not for us anymore. We just prefer smaller groups of people whom we know. Avoids all of that craziness that I cant stand. I would just set on the other side of the room or maybe even not go if I were you. No need for you to be uncomfortable, and besides they dont have much respect if they are going to get drunk and make advances.
2006-12-05 18:35:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with swinging, but I agree, swimming in the more sexually adventurous end of the pool can have its challenges.
In your case, I would be willing to bet that there are other who are uncomfortable as well. Seek them out within your group, and begin a little old-fashioned peer pessure agaist the ones who go over the top, generally they will calm down. If not then break away from the group, taking the other low key ones with you
2006-12-05 17:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by rehobothbeachgui 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lifestyle you are involved in, sounds like it includes more rather than less participants and, is bound to have it's draw backs.
You should seek out those in the group that appear to feel the same and start your own thing.
The flip side of this answer says: With an open group, you should be able to voice your opinion and have it respected.
2006-12-05 17:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by ggraves1724 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swinging etiquette, I think I have heard it all now.
Simple answer, don't swing. If you meet once a month and have half orgies at the bar I think it is pretty safe to say you are not being discreet. Every person I know who has tried the swinging scene has been horribly disappointed and hurt in the end. Walk away and just dont look back.
2006-12-05 17:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by his temptress 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've not been in that exact situation, but similar to it, so I know what you're talking about.
They're doing this at regular, non-swing-friendly public bars? Geez, what do they expect?!?!?!
First of all, do whatever is within your comfort level, and don't worry what they will think.
If it were me, I would either stop going, or like you said, stay on the other side of the room. You could actually get arrested & end up on the news if someone there saw sexual activity going on and reported it. It is illegal, after all.
If you think that's going to get a negative reaction from your new friends, just tell them that you have family, friends and workmates that you absolutely do not ever want to know about your lifestyle, and therefore you aren't OK with engaging in public displays of it.
Just say it's your private life, not your public life. Anyone who matters, should understand that.
If you decide to stop going out in public with them like this, just take those of them aside that you still want to play with, and let them know that you'd really like to continue seeing them in private situations, but aren't OK with what's going on in public.
It's a win-win: you still get to play with those you like, with none of this public lewdness going on!
2006-12-05 17:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by dork 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like swinging, I'm more into threesomes with 2 guys.
2006-12-05 17:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by Wendy Love Muffin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋