but yet he will not keep the house or the yard clean or get his son on little league sports teams because half the time he will miss practice or games because he doesn't want to have to take our 3 and 6 year old children to the games because i'm at work. he also throws it in my face that I don't help clean the house or spend enough time with the kids because I am tired and that I pawn them off on him. he can say all kinds of things to me but then he starts getting violent with me when I wont shut up. am I wrong to expect the house and chilrens activities to be his job since he doesn't work?
2006-12-05 08:55:00 · 30 answers · asked by fighting 40s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not too seem soft on your husband, but it probably doesn't help matters when you ride him about not having a job or doing anything to help out. He is probably feeling very insecure and inadequate as a man and a husband - he knows he's not working, he doesn't need to be reminded of that fact.
I do feel that he should definitely be doing more to help out around the house and with the kids, and him not doing so shows that he has gotten to the point where he just doesn't care, which is not a good place for him to be. Him bringing up the fact that you don't spend enough time with the kids is his defense to all the negative stuff you have to say about him, so you can expect that one to keep coming.
The two of you need to sit down like 2 adults and try to work out your problems without resorting to name calling and accusations - some marriage counseling would probably benefit both of you.
2006-12-05 09:07:49 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't put up with this for another minute. I don't care if you are a stay at home mom or a stay at home dad the responisbilities are the same. I stay at home with my kids and I do all the house work and the kids activities. My husbands job is to just spend time with the kids. He does help when he can though. Your husband sounds abusive. I would run and do it fast.
2006-12-05 17:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by Luv_My_Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to kick him the balls next time he touches you in anyway. Make a itemized list of all the things that need to be done to run the household for a week. Assign a dollar value to each item. Explain to him that things he consumes, food, water, electricity cost money, and he needs to pay his fair share. He can either get a job, or do chores, or move out. Why do you need to take care of such a looser. Kick his sorry lazy good for nothing azz to the curb.
2006-12-05 17:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong to expect your husband to do his share. But you're wrong about marrying a lazy and irresponsible person, having children with him, and then expecting him to somehow change. He's the same dude you've been married to all these years - disrespectful and selfish slacker. Get over it, and start spending more time with the kids. It's not their fault their parents cannot agree on who's job it is to take care of them.
2006-12-05 17:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for a guy to spit in his wife's face, now that is very very low.
I can't say much because I don't know both sides of the story, but it looks to me like your marriage is in deep trouble.
Why is he not working? if he has been unemployed for a long time, that in itself could really mess with his sense of self worth. Either way, his behavior is inexcusable, so I'm not defendin him.
I don't think you should "expect" anything and marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100, and in your case it looks like 100/0.
Oh, and maybe you should "shut up" sometimes. Women who won't shut up, really do get extremely anoying.
2006-12-05 17:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say get a divorce. But be safe. If you have to move & not tell him where you are do it. The fact that he's violent is not GOOD it's dangerous!!! Life is too short to be miserable. You and your children deserve more. Get a restraining order the next time he's violent and kick him out.
2006-12-08 09:22:42 · answer #6 · answered by purplemonkeydiswasher_2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong to stay in this disfunctional relationship. You should tell him to leave, You do not need him because you are already doing everything without him. By allowing him to continue with the lazy boy stuff, you are disabling him. He can't go get a job because he really doesn't have a reason to want to.
2006-12-05 17:04:32 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong you work two jobs the least he could do is clean but what u really need to do is find someone who will help you out and also work.
2006-12-06 01:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, you need to leave this bum...If he is not trying to help you or do anything....
When violence comes into play, its critical to get you and your boys out of the house because lately, there are a lot of men killing their wives and sometimes their kids then killing themselves.....Be careful and get away from that nut job.....
He needs to be a man and get up and find a job...Why are you the only one working?
2006-12-05 17:02:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some states that could be considered battery. Assault would be him saying,"I'm going to spit in your face.", battery is the act. Contact your local PD and tell them about the verbal abuse, which could also be considered battery, and let him sit his butt in jail for a few days while you get a Protection From Abuse against him. Then dump the jerk.
2006-12-05 17:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by Shotgun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋