im 18 and my lifes a mess?

Question

i know wot im doin wrong but i cant help it.i stay out without letting my parents know, i cant hold a job down and ive never got any money.i keep doin things wrong without meaning to.i know im not a nightmare kid but i keep messing up.wot do i do?

Answer 1

Oh yes you are a nightmare, not a kid an adult!!! No parent knows what to do with you!! Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get your act together! You want to be a bum, then move out and be one! If not then get up off your lazy as s and get a job, quit staying out all night and become a responsible adult!! Simple!

Answer 2

Hey you're not a 'mess' you're 18 - you've got everything goin on. The fact that you care that you don't call your parents means you know its important - its just a phone call/text, it takes a minute but it means so much - do it and then get on with the night - its only fair. You just haven't found the right career move - think about it seriously - whats your thing - business, travel, hair, beauty, kids, money - what were you good at school - find out about courses/colleges that might be able to help you and go for it - this is the time when you can go your own way without having to think about supporting a partner/kids whatever. It sounds as if you've got supportive parents so take advantage that and study or take up a position where you can get training on the job - the pay might not be great but its what you have to do at first. I can tell you want to succeed - go for it!

Answer 3

Well Chloe your not alone at 18 feeling this way. But if you know that you are doing wrong then you are the only person that can make the first step to stop this behaviour. Perhaps some form of counseling might be beneficial for you, if your honest with the counselor and are open minded to their suggestions, and your folks. Soon enough you will be wanting to straighten up and some kids find it hard to do so because of the friends they have choose, so chose your friends wisely also. Good luck and try and give your parents a great Christmas gift by beginning to act as more of an adult and less of a child.

Answer 4

Take your time, write down each of your own concerns like in a list and try to put a positive to each item like this,

parents.... try to work things out/talk/apologise?
job.... search for a job/train for the future?
money.... How much do I really need to feel happy?

Break each of your problems down in this way, ask yourself which one is easiest to do first, it may be talking to your parents or looking into training for a new job.

You have not messed your whole life up at all as you are so young and able to make yourself feel better.

Do it one step at a time and don't be too hard on yourself.

Decide what sort of job (realistic) would make you happy, and look into entering that profession.

Tell your parents you are hoping to do this and ask their opinion and if they will support you in pursuing your 'dream job'.

Be sensible and your parents will respect you more for this. Go home a little earlier each night, do it at your own pace. Have some nights in and read or study or surf the net or have some time to sit and think about the little changes you can make to improve your own life and well being.

It could be that you are not eating properly or that you dont sleep enough or something like that, it could be many things.
Dont punish yourself so much, life is not easy at all and everyone makes mistakes and has to learn the hard way. We have all done it.

Make small changes in the right direction and change your boring routines. Go jogging or swimming get into a routine of doing things on certain days, like visit the red lion on wednesdays for the pub quiz or, go the the local community college and do a first aid course or yoga or learn something completely new.

Dont have hard targets you can't meet, just take your time and remember that you are not alone, lots of people feel the same way and have the same difficulties.

If you get really fed up and need to talk, call the samaritans or email them.

Good luck and move on!

x x

Answer 5

Before I noticed you were female, I had already constructed an answer which ran along these lines:
@ Don't panic - you have a comparatively cushy live in a Western country and there's plenty of time to build yourself a decent life;
@ Start making sacrifices - don't go out every day of the week, don't drink too much, start saving money;
@ Get some qualifications - GCSEs, diplomas, first aid training, driving license - these all show that you can stick at something (try something easy first...ask your parents for assistance, financial or otherwise).

Now that I know you're a lady, my advice only really changes in a couple of ways - don't get pregnant too early; and time may perhaps be more of the essence for you. By that I mean, I think women need to get things sorted in their 20s. Men can bum along till their 30s and 40s, and then get their life in order - get a career, build a family, etc, but women burn out quicker (for instance in their 40s/50s, they lose half of their bone density!) and society seems to, unfairly, discount/deny the contributions of older women.

Answer 6

18 is young, 32 is young. You still have time to clean this up. You need to find a higher power you can report to. You obviously don't care what your parents say, so you need to find someone or something that you know will hold you accountable for your actions something that you personally feel the need to impress or obey. Try going to a orphanage or a drug rehab clinic and take a look at how messed up it can be if you don't turn things around. Some people just need a good shock to the system. Others just need to learn to help others.

Answer 7

What hard about letting your parents know if you out for the night? They only want to know because they love you and want to know your safe. Why cant you keep a job? Are you lazy, rude or cant be bothered?
You know what your problem is but will take no steps to resolve them. Your 18 and now an adult and need to start to take responsibility for your own life. You will never have any money unless you act responsible and hold a job down.
Think of the future and where you want to be, then start to make plans to achieve them.

Answer 8

When i was 17 i got a job and made myself financially independent, then rented a flat so i could stay out late and have friends round and not wash up much! I then carried on studying and went to uni- and studied whilst going out with friends and having a good time and not washing up much. You need to sort out you life/work balance and enjoy yourself at the same time. Be young and have fun, but also do some work or study and get some money. It's also better to phone up drunk and tell your parents you're staying out all night then to let them lie in bed thinking you might be dead!

Answer 9

You need to learn to STOP & think before acting. Sounds like your actions have taken you over & you aren't thinking about the consequences until after the fact. Perhaps you have someone a friend or family member that you can talk to about this. You just need to rewire yourself. You obviously know you have a problem since you are asking for help on here. Next time you go to make a decision about ANYTHING, stop for a minute & actually think about your choices & how the may influence you. Good luck~

Answer 10

You sound just like I was at your age. Don't worry about messing things up, we've all done that and will continue. The thing is, you do care, which is good,but please don't be too hard on yourself, after all you are just living, experiencing life and even if employers turn you down (which is their downfall) and you have money problems, which sadly many of us do, it really isn't your fault or caused by you. It's society and it's many faults towards you. Hang on in there and make all the mistakes that we all make, you're only human and from what I sense, a very kind, sensitive one at that. Show them what you're made of and don't let them make you feel down, live, be happy when the b.....s let you.