What should I do?

Question

I am a soldier currently in Iraq serving my country. I just found out my wife has a 650 cell phone bill. I look at it and see that she been talking to other dudes at 2 and 3 in the morning. I want to know what would you think it is and should I just ask her about it? I know if I do she going to say she ain't got to explain herself.

Answer 1

Give her a chance to explain herself. How do you know they are other men? how do you know they aren't other women just giving her support or comfort while you are away?

Answer 2

First you need to have the phone disconnected and then file for legal seperation. The filing of legal seperation will keep you from being liablle for any thing she buys, like another cell phone service or anything else she buys. Then file for a divorce.

Then when she asks why, just tell her that you don't have to explain yourself.

If you don't file for seperation, she can and probably will run up a bunch of bills that you will be liable for. SO DO IT NOW !! This can be done without you being in the states. Go to your base legal department. DO IT NOW !!!

Get clear of that woman and don't look back. She's probably doing more than talking to those other guys don't you think? She is probably rubbing her lipstick off on their *****!

Answer 3

She is correct in that she doesn't need to explain her actions. You are thousands of miles away, and are a bit busy fighting a war. I suggest you put things on hold, until you can get home. Even then, she doesn't need to answer, but she DOES have to deal with the results of her actions while you have been in Iraq. Good luck. You probably should do all you can right now, to cut off her money. Close accounts, cancel credit cards, and stop any extra deductions from your pay.

Answer 4

You should be real with her... ask her about it, but make sure to ask her in a manor of kindness , because if you ask her right out you might piss her off and then she wont want to say anything and you will benefit nothing but an arguement ,on the phone, while on the other side to the world.. and i can imagne you dont need that kind of stress... tell her that you would like to know who it is she is talking to and that since you are so far away and cant be there your mind wonders and that you need reassurance some times that nothing is going on... I know about that cause my husband, being in the army, always needs to know that i love him and no one else...
And that could be it you just need reassuarance that you are the only one in her life.

Answer 5

Confront her and allow her to explain herself on whatever way she does. Whether she denys or she tells half truth or even full truth.

My fiance is going back to Iraq around end of March, Begin of April. He was not able to get his mail such as that. I am not sure how you recieved it, but I would recommend taking a look at the numbers and even calling a few to see who she speaking with and why. Quite confront them in what ever way you want to: say your her husband, say that you got a few calls and want to verify as the phone company says you called and wasn't sure (play....stupid as if you don't know anything. Sometimes that works) or call as someone else asking for her to see if she 1) been there 2) sleeps there at night 3) how well know them such as ask questions like "Oh, she isn't there. can I leave a message if you get in contact with her. you are her bf right?"

There is ways to ask with out giving out your identity if you want to investigate further, especially if she doesn't explain herself to the best ability.

I am sorry something isn't right at the moment. Especially while you are in Iraq, to which is not the best place I know you would want to be in.

If she is doing something inappropriate, she might have reasons. Doesn't mean they are right reasons; however, they are reasons she feels valid out of neglect, lonely, inpatient, tempting etc. Just as military men/females get when they are deployed (as my fiance gives me all types of stories of unfaithfulness he sees everyday with people).

I would recommend counseling if you feel this is something you two can work out when you get home.

Need to talk, can email me if you would like.

Answer 6

Of course she has to explain herself!! She's your wife!! She vowed to you certain things and a big part of that was herself and her allegience to you and the marriage!
She is cheating on you talking on the phone with other guys, no matter what time it is!
You must ask her about this and ask her why she's doing it, what she plans on doing through it, and how she feels about your marriage now.
She may need some help, so good luck with it and really sorry to hear about it!

Answer 7

Shut the phone off or make her pay for the bill. You are the husband and you have a right to ask her about the calls. If she refuses to answer you, then you might want to worry then.

Answer 8

Be upfront with her. You have the right to ask her about it. You're not there so you don't know what she could be doing. If she says she doesn't have to explain herself, tell her you don't have to keep her phone on. That is just how I would go about doing it. It's hard to trust people nowadays.

Answer 9

Hi Sir.

If you are i Iraq then I take my hat off to you Sir.

I'm fkn sat at home.......makes me feel like **** u fighting a war no fkr wanted. (Btw....could you possibly be on Yahoo Qand A in Iraq?)

Well if you are friend.... ask her. If you want an e-mail friend....get back. Just add an extra to your question. Take care my friend. XXXX

Answer 10

Ask her about it. If she gets snappy, then she's hiding something. As it is if she's talking on the phone to two other guys late at night then that's not a good sign. Good luck.