I am married with a child. I split with my ex years ago but we parted on very bad terms. I want to get in touch again to make things right between us as I feel bad the way we left things. I cant stop thinking about it. Am I wrong in wanting to contact him? I live the other side of the country to him and dont even have his current number or email so will be a case of tracking him down. Am I wrong in wanting to get in touch with him again? Please help its driving me crazy!!!!!
2006-12-05 08:23:14 · 38 answers · asked by Ju 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you want to make ammends send a card w apology. Getting in touch with him n e other way could cause a bunch of trouble especially if your hubby sees the phone record!! Becareful.....
2006-12-05 08:27:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being tempted to do this so that you will do something you will regret one day, more than you regret the past with this other guy. I suggest you forget about him and just let it go! More than likely he doesn't even think about it and having you get into contact with him will be a sign that you only want to be with him again.
Just learn from the mistake and move on! It's the best thing to do! It's also a case of "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome and also thinking about the past it always seems so much nicer and sweeter than what it really was with the exes and what you did to him does not matter anymore.
You have a family now, and you better do all that you can to protect it, and that means keeping the hell away from the past!!
2006-12-05 08:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be really honest with yourself & ask why you want to do this?
You want to go to all the trouble of tracking your 'ex' down, just because you parted on bad terms. Why does it matter to you that much?
I mean your married (you don't say happily) with a child & you want to risk that by contacting your 'ex'.
Ask yourself this. Would you tell your husband what you have just said above? If the answer is no, then you know whether it is wrong or not.
2006-12-05 09:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have a right/wrong question, you have a dumb/smart question.
It is dumb to start looking for a guy who left years ago, and if he were interested, he would have looked you up. Its dumb to think he cares a penny about the terms on which you left, men don't obsess about that, and if they do they need help. Its dumb to think it wouldn't hurt your husband or that he won't find out.
You sound like you might want a bit of drama in a life that might have become a somewhat predictable and for granted. But real life repercussions could be quite sad for you and your family, even if on contact, your ex tells you to f off and hangs up.
So, whats smart?
Look him up on Google if you must, just to see if he is doing anything notable, then erase the history and forget about it.
No getting in touch, not even across a continent.
Then go out to dinner with husband and child and thank God for them and your every now-and-then dull life.
2006-12-05 08:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are youre going to reopen a can of worms. You now feel regret for what ever happened yrs ago and now you want to make remends.Dont be suprised if he doesnt want to talk to you as he has probably forgotten all about it and moved on with his life and you may be the very last person he wants to ever see again. Sometimes we dont get to do what we would like,like mending old fences, for whatever reason it just isnt possible, Most of the time it works out for the better. Someday if its meant to be you two will cross paths again and you can tell him then but in the meantime let it go and get on with your life and the rest will take care of itself. Good luck
2006-12-05 08:34:06 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you love your hubby, right? So why not talk to him. If you're scared of asking him, because he isn't that comfy wit hthat sort of thing, then you probably shouldn't be trying to contact your ex.
Remember your wedding vows, you are meant to share everyhting with your partener. Doing something like tracking down your ex without telling him could play on your mind and conscience quite alot. Also, hubby could find out and think ther eis more going on than there is.
So, you have to ask yourself the question, is contacting your ex worth potentially wrecking your marriage and destroying your childs family?
this may not happen but it could certainly make things sticky between you and your hubby. IS it really worth it?
2006-12-05 08:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you know your ex but if you went to school with him or know what school he went to you can try classmates.com.
You could also do a people search on yahoo and get his address and sometimes a phone number. Sometimes we just need to empty our guilt and get closure but you could be opening Pandora's box. Think long and hard about why you want to contact this person. Sometimes people change for the worse and it would have been better to leave the fond memory you have of them in your head. You could also open yourself up to falling in love with him again. I have a ex that I got in touch with and we are friends but I fell in love with him again and it is hard to hide the hurt sometimes. He has a wife and I know that I will never be with him but the friendship I have with him is a great one and wouldn't give it up for anything. It's a double edge sword. So like I said think long and hard before you open up that door because it could change the rest of your life.
2006-12-05 08:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by pitre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to make things right? You are interested in rekindling the things that excited you. Stay away. How much do you want to hurt your husband so you can get a giddy little thrill?
Drop it. Forget it.
Oh by the way your husband wants to "make things right" with some ex-girlfriend and track her down. Do you like that? Or should he pay attention to his wife and forget about it?
2006-12-05 08:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want closure...that's what it seems. Well...I can understand that. I have an ex boyfriend who I parted with on fairly good terms - he just wasn't the one for me. He wanted to marry me and I just couldn't see us staying together so I said no. I've since gotten married to the right one and he is wonderful!
There are times when I'd love to get in touch with my ex...but then I think of my husband and I know he'd be unhappy if I did. Fortunately for me, my ex's mom still emails me so in a way, I do find out things!
Whatever you decide, bee careful :) Don't ruin your marriage over an ex!
2006-12-05 08:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You're married and have a child. So, you want to fix things up with your ex?????? Are you planning to straighten out that fight you had with the neighbor kid back when you were seven? How about the boy back in second grade that you teased? Or, is it just your ex you need to fix things up with? Lady, drop this idea. Worry about your marriage, and let the past stay the past. The only thing you'll accomplish is to screw up your marriage.
2006-12-05 09:08:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋