A friend's husband made a pass at me. Should I tell her or forget about it?

Question

This girl has been my best friend for over 20 years. Her husband told me that he wanted to be with me and wanted to know what it was like to spend one night with me. I told him that I love my friend and would never do something like that. I told my fiance and he said I should tell her. But I dont know if she will even believe me and if she does what happens to her marriage? Will our friendship survive something like this? Should I even tell her?

Answer 1

Well, if she knows your heart, she will eventually appreciate you telling her. I would definitely tell her or ignore that it happened altogether.

You really should tell her, but it could mean goodbye to your friendship (at least for awhile) if she believes him.

Don't ever ever be alone with her husband. It will give him reason to continue and her reason to not trust.

Answer 2

I think that you should tell her, but do so as a last resource. I think you should first try to limit the amount of time that you come in contact with your friend's husband - stay away from him as much as possible. However if he does or say anything at all in regards to what he have mentioned in this situation, go straight to your girlfriend without hesitation. i think she will understand - after all you have been friends for over 20 years. Explain to your fiance the strategy you plan on using.

All the Best!!!

Answer 3

If the man's wife is your best friend, you definitely need to tell her. There is a good possibility that you were not the husband's first attempt, and in fact has probably cheated before. He sounds like a sex addict who is out of control. I mean, hitting on your spouse's best friend is just plain stupid and asking to be caught. I would guess that your friend is already suspicious of her husband's infidelities. You will be helping her by telling her about this. You may not know, but it is possible that the husband has already been caught in an affair, and made a bunch of empty promises. Tell your friend.

Answer 4

Definately tell her. It may be hard now but dont you think she deserves to know what her husband is really like ? think of it like this if it wasnt you but some other person without your strong will and morals to stand up to him what would have been the situation. If he's willing to cheat in this day and age with a million std's out there she definately should be aware and warned. maybe it's best if your fiancee is there so she'll know theres no ulterior motives on your side and whatever her decision let her know she has a true friend to stand beside her and suppport her. The world is too full of possibilties to let jerks like that get away blatent disregard and disrespect for you and his wife.

Answer 5

She's your friend of twenty years, how should I know?

But seriously, either her husband is a dog or he isn't and it was a one-time thing. If it's a one-time thing, than make sure he knows it will go nowhere and therefore there is no reason to tell her.

However, if he truly is a dog, and he propositions girls all the time, well then, honey, it's not your job to tell your friend what she probably already knows about her husband.

Answer 6

i had the same situation happen to me, and i ended telling my friend. sure their relationship almost ended and i felt ours too. but
your duty as a friend is to tell her! she was a little distant for a few
days, but shortly after she came around. he had a history of being a dog. so that made my side of the story believe able! i would just reminded her i was her friend, and would make up this kind of lie to hurt her nor did i want her man! so not to think that maybe i had even flirted w/him and that why he made a pass at me. that she knew me better than that and i even offered to confront him if needed. so we did a 3-way call so she could hear, what he would tell me. that was hat she wanted as proof! she still stayed w/him! yes, i know but regardless my conscious was guilt free from hiding it from her. and we still keep our friendship, we were just no around him! if you have a true frienships you'll still be friends.

Answer 7

well, it could have been a one time fluke say he's going thru a midlife crisis and they probably need some counseling, but it's possible that he's probably acting the way he always has, and she's either clueless all along, or prefers not to confront the issue. If you've been friends for 20 years, maybe you've noticed him acting overly friendly towards other women? Maybe you could ask her if she thinks he's been acting differently, bring up some questions in casual conversation that might help you decide to say or not to say anything to her

Answer 8

Better yet, you should have the fiance have a chat with this moron. This way he will know you and your fiance don't keep secrets and are united.

If you are very uncomfortable then talk to your friend otherwise let it go. If the moron makes a pass at you again, definitely tell your friend.

Answer 9

I think it's important you tell her. She may be upset for awhile, but in the end she will hopefully see you were doing what you thought was right. You may want to tell her with your fiance there. It will seem less threatening. And be careful, her hubby may try to turn the tables on you! If you don't tell her she is living a lie. It's hard, but only you know what's right. good luck.

Answer 10

I wouldn't say a thing. What I would do, though, is tell her husband that if it ever happens again, you WILL tell her.

If you say something now, it will only cause a fight between her and her husband, they will resolve it (most likely), and you will left on the outside and viewed as an interloper even though you were only trying to protect her.