my husband hiring/dating an escort and he doesn't know that i knew, and i have a proof. and he's getting worst now ,he's doing it more often. I can't take it anymore and i can't function straight. I'm thinking of filing a divorce but i have two kids who adore him.I want to follow him at night when he go back to work for overtime around 10pm and came home around 2am to caught him but i can't and besides i can't leave my kids alone at night. and i'm afraid about how much money he's spending. please can someone give me advice what to do. Do you think it is the ground for divorce even if he's paying the girl? Should i confront him ?
2006-12-05 08:04:03 · 12 answers · asked by magda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The answer is yes. You should definitely confront him. Either your husband knows that you know or not, it is important for you to let him know directly that you know what is going on. By being slient will only accumulate anger inside you. You need to let him know that you know and you need to tell him what you are planning to do (in this case, divorce). At this point, the husband usually will do 2 things: 1) beg for forgiveness 2) does not care. If he begs for forgiveness, it is up to you what you want to do. But if you decide to forgive him, you need to communciate with him to end whatever he has with that woman and if such things EVER happens again, such generosity of you of forgiving him will never happen and you will take the kids and leave him. It is essential to give the man a sense of losing his loving wife and kids when he is being unfaithful, such fear will stike him back to reality most of the time. And you need to be STRONG and CERTAIN about everything you say.
And even though your kids adore him, the admiration does not necessarily stop when the marriage ends in divorce. Remember, the fact that he still is the loving father to them does not end by his unfaithfullness to you. By communication the right concepts to the kids, the kids will still love their father despite of the fact you two are not together anymore. It is a hard decision to make and I wish you luck. But yes, you have to confront him.
you can E-mail me at Jane6184@yahoo.com. I will be able to help you with this.
2006-12-05 08:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jane 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is grounds for divorce. Don't stay together for your kids. When you're upset they'll know it and it'll get uglier if you wait too long confront him. Do you really need someone working against you? Yes, that's what he's doing, whether you've thought about it or not, he's working against you. He is supposed to be part of your family, ups and downs. If he is spending money on this woman, and I don't see how he couldn't because I certainly wouldn't be dating a man who couldn't handle his business, then he's taking that money away from you and your children. Money that could have been used to put food on the table or clothes on their backs or medicine in their bodies when needed. I definitely suggest that you confront him with this information and the proof and see what he has to say. If you think he'll get violent, then have your parents or trusted friends on standby to help you. Don't have your children there when you do it. And if he's not that type of person then you two will be able to discuss it and come to an agreement that everyone can be comfortable with. As far as your well-being goes, you don't deserve this either. No one does. You have as much right to be loved and respected in this relationship as he does and in your family unit as your children do. Whatever you choose to do, do it soon. Good luck.
2006-12-05 08:17:52 · answer #2 · answered by pstategirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most definately but get proof of the cheating as well as all bank info and assets including credit cards cancel all credit cards while hes at work empty all accounts as well as have his personal belongings like clothes shoes hat and toothbrush takin to the local police station file a protection from abuse order lie say he threatined you or some thing this will prevent him from calling you or coming to the house again and you will get a hearing for temporary child support in just a few weeks in the mean time live on your bank account or pawn his stuff let him prove he had anything and only a recipt is proff and even then he could ony get half at the most in the mean time find your self a new friend while hes sleeping on his buddys couch for the next 3 years and if he loved his kids he wouldnt be cheating on you a family is all people that are commited to each others well being so while hes makin love to some one else hes hurting your kids to by messing up thir happy life and trust in their father i say hes a loser and dump him asap
ps. call him at work to pick up his stuff at police station not your house then have no further contact with him also remember its the same mouth that kisses your kids is the same one thats
going down on some street trashes privates ,,, do the math and
get you and your kids tested asap
good luck.............
2006-12-05 08:30:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, "grounds for divorce" means nothing. We have no-fault divorce now in almost every state. You do need to get rid of him as your marriage is over. He does not respect you and that can never be won back. Pack your stuff and leave - or file for divorce and get a restraining order to keep him away from you and your home. This is over and you need only to be smart about getting out of it financially and emotionally sane.
2006-12-05 09:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You first need to get all of the proof in order because if you decide to divorce him you will want that for the courts. Then I would confront him and ask him what he is thinking. I have to assume you would want to know this. Then depending on his answer you will know what to do.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Good luck.
2006-12-05 10:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should file for a divorce, Unless you like being a door mat! You're not happy so the kids won't be happy! Kids know when something is wrong.
2006-12-05 08:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by Breezey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for a divorce. If he is sneaking around and cheating on you what else is he doing. You arent really going to ever find out all the details. Just let him go and find someone who isnt going to do this to you.
2006-12-05 08:14:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you would tolerate this behavior even for an instant does not speak well for your self respect and self esteem. You need to expect more. Respect yourself and get out of this relationship before you catch an incurable disease.
2006-12-05 08:10:55 · answer #8 · answered by lavenderroseford 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he's paying for sex instead of having it with you.....? Your question was what again? The kids will get over it. Better they come from a broken home than live in one.
2006-12-05 08:15:37 · answer #9 · answered by Leslie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
divorce him. the kids will still get to see him. before you do though, ask him about it. why wasnt he happy with your relationationship? maybe you can fix it and not get one
2006-12-05 12:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by omygosh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋