I dated this guy (I'm a woman) for 3 years from age 16-19. He's 29 now and just found out he had a myspace website and he claims he's gay. When we dated we kissed, made out etc.. Now he claims to be gay. Is this possible? Meaning was he born like that or do you think he just made the choice to be gay? I'm so confused about how he could be gay when he didn't seem that way years ago.
2006-12-05 08:03:59 · 12 answers · asked by Kajunfriend2006 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Evidently some people take awhile to admit their sexual preference to themselves. Some try, try, try to pursue hetero relationships and then finally give in to what they've been denying.
2006-12-05 08:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible. He was born that way, but society and culture has trained his mind to date the opposite sex. I know because I did and now am married with 3 kids. But my sexual preference is men, it is too late for me to do anything about it now because I made the choice to have kids and when I did it was until they are grown, so I am here until then. People I meet don't think I am gay, I am not a prissy gay but a guy who likes guys. So looks and actions do not tell the whole story. Good luck in finding someone.......
2006-12-05 17:11:50 · answer #2 · answered by Joesmoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that there are some people born in the wrong body, but I think most gay people were not born that way, they chose that way. I say that because the sex act is almost the same. It is putting something in some cavity. The act is exactly the same. It is the choosing of partners that is different and different cavities and objects. I think those are just choices people make. Most are not born with. Too many people go back and forth and enjoy both. Not me though. My mind is made up.
2006-12-05 16:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Baby gurrrl... each case is different, but if you try to understand in a more mature way, without your feelings involved, you'll find out that being gay is very hard specially when you are young and inexperienced. Being gay is a complex thing specially in a judgmental society like ours. Gay guys have to experiment and find out who they really are. Dating girls is part of that self-discovering process. Sadly, when they finally feel comfortable in their own skins, and decide to come out --if they get to that point... girls are too attached and they start asking tons of questions, that generally don't get a clear answer. I hope you don't feel used, nor disgusted. If you think about it, boys and girls all over the world use each other to discover their identity, grow emotionally, share good times, and bad ones too... learn to be better partners, mothers, fathers etc... My word for you today: Be understanding, have compassion and love that person for what he was when he was with you. I am sure you shared many good things with each other.
2006-12-05 16:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by Daniel L 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a lesbian but before I came out I dated men. #1 because that was what a female was "supposed to do". As I began to mature and developed my identify I began realizing what attraction was
( that girls gave me butterflies .... not boys) but I continued to date men, even claimed to be "boy crazy", so no one would know I was "gay". FINALLY I realized following my heart was the only thing that made me happy. NO I did not choose to be a lesbian, why on earth would I choose to love someone that many people wouldn't except, that I couldn't raise a family with without criticism, and that in many states would not allow me to marry.Choosing to be gay, in my opinion, would not be a smart choice if you had the option.
2006-12-05 16:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by tana 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is most deifinately possible. While some gay people realize they are gay early on, others are... i guess late bloomers! There was nothing wrong with you. Some gay men are just pressured into dating women to avoid the hatred given to them by society.
2006-12-05 16:34:42 · answer #6 · answered by Oscar S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No one "seems" gay, there is no "gay look." Any one can have sex with any one that doesn't make them associated with one sexuality or the other. Aside from that most people especially when they are young they try to run away from the truth because of the societal pressure. Your friend might be one of them.
2006-12-05 16:10:26 · answer #7 · answered by Sui Generis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so he "claims" hes gay? it sounds like you really think hes making it all up...think about it, gay ppl, especially men have it so hard in society, they get beat up, hated on, basically treated really badly and so do women, it wouldnt b just "fun" or for kicks for him to proclaim his gayness, its actually very hard to do, and a big change in lifestyle, aquaintances, etc...its a social no no, so yup...if the guy knows all this and still claims to be gay...its you whos in denial not him...Hes Gay...i kissed lots of boys when i was younger and i couldve been eating a ham sandwich while reading the dictionary instead.
2006-12-05 16:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by skegcu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of young gay people date heterosexually because of peer pressure.
If you are Gay, you are born that way.
2006-12-05 16:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by Chris C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It happened ten years ago, whether he's biologically gay or not.
Get a blood test, if it'll ease your mind. But don't bother looking back at what or who he was. Other people have surely found you to be attractive since then.
2006-12-05 16:07:40 · answer #10 · answered by montrealissima 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yea, it's possible. I came out later in my mid twenties once I realized that I couldn't deny being gay.
2006-12-05 16:25:10 · answer #11 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋