Prison wife?

Question

Ok here is the deal. I have known a guy for a very long time. His sister became my best friend and is now my roomate. He and I have been great friends for years and I'm even considered "adopted" by his parents. We have both always been in other relationships, but we are both now single and it has come up that we have had feelings for each other for years. I never realized how much until I became single recently and apparently, he's been waiting around for 6 years to tell me all this. Here is the problem though. He is in prison. The details I won't bore you with, but he made a mistake and I stuck by him through the entire ordeal. He really is the man I want to be with. But he wants me to marry him while he's still in prison. He only has one more year to go but I'm just not sure. What do you think?

Answer 1

Wait till he is released and then date for a while then get engaged and married if your feelings are still the same!

Answer 2

I would wait!

I won't judge and go into details, but there is no reason to rush into anything, especially since he isn't going anywhere for long time.

Things to consider if you marry him:
1. You'll be all alone on your wedding night.

2. Everytime some one asks about your wedding ring, you'll have to explain how your man is in lock down.


Marrying a convict doesn't make life any easier. My brother was in prison, and hasn't been able to get a job since. You and your husband will be faced financial difficulties in the future if he can not provide for you and your family.

Answer 3

well......it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks if this is what you want....I don't know the details of this situation but I will say this....think long and hard...no matter what he has done, a prison record stays with you....it will be hard with jobs, buying a home, getting credit...you name it....Life will not be easy for the two of you....If he really loves you and you think you love him, then it will last until he gets out of prison....why rush???? Wait and make sure this is what you want and that this isn't just an easy thing for him to make sure he has a place to go when he gets out etc. It is lonely in prison and people make decisions based on their current situation which isn't always the best way to do things...good luck.....

Answer 4

I think he is afraid that you will find someone else. Many people have overcome prison to build a good life.
There are other things to consider as well, what will happen to any health insurance that you have now? What are the tax consequences? Can you handle celibacy for a year? Not being true to him as a husband is a lot worse than while you are waiting for him to be released from prison.

Answer 5

I would wait to marry him until he gets out of prison. Not saying that your love isnt strong enough to withhold the space, but you deserve to have your husband by your side every day. If he is truly the one you want and you are truly the one he needs, then those feelings will not leave.

It gives you time to decide your future. You can tell him that while you love him to death, you want a real wedding with all the trimmings, including your husband who you can spend each and every day together with. You can tell him that the day you get married you want him to go with you and celebrate with both families. Weddings are a happy occasion- can you say that you will be happy if you cant be with him?

Good luck and he is lucky he has such a devoted, understanding person in his corner.

Answer 6

Do not marry him while he is in prison. I think you should wait until he gets out and then prusue the relationship. If things go well then maybe consider marry him. Have you really thought all this through though? I mean he is in prison...........is this someone you really want to be in a relationship with? Just asking.

Answer 7

do you need your head examined ? I am not trying to be mean but I mean what are the circumstances that he got there? my ex b/f's sister married some guy in prison . he was and still is in prison for trying to kill his first wife . What makes her think that he wont do the same to her ? If he really loves you you will see it . he might be using you too ya know? I think I would definately wait and see what he is like when he gets released from prison . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

Answer 8

Gurl you should wait...first because things might change when he gets out..maybe...and then again u might be tired of hearing this but if he does love u ,then he can wait...u already showed u love him by sticking with him in these hard times..and when u look back to ur wedding, do u want to remember it in a dirty nasty prison? i dont think so...make the wedding worth all those years he has been in prison..make a big celebration...celebrating new life for the both of you

Answer 9

I would wait until he is out of prison. Tell him that you want to be able to share your union with those whom you love, and you can't do that effectively if you get married while he is behind bars. Also, tell him you want to have as normal a married life as possible, and you feel that being literally locked away from your husband for a year would be too much for you to bear.

Good luck!

Answer 10

There are lots of things to consider- do you feel sorry for him??? WIll he be able to work when he gets out- does he want children= does he expect you to support him- and will he be a felon the rest of his life??? and what he was charged w and did does matter--Have you ever heard you don't look for a husband in a prison, strip club or bar?? Make wise choices-you have to live w your choices the rest of your life-take care-D