after seeing him on and off for about a year i split up with him for good 3 and half years ago. i have hardly seen him since coz he went behind my back and got a lass pregnant and asked her to move into the house i had helped him choose and decorate.
i met my current boyfriend at christmas and have been with him nearly 3 years. i love him to bits and he is moving in with me in febuary.
i havent thought about my ex or cared about him but he has suddenly came back out of nowhere and he is bugging me and my friends.
he has been to the pub where my friend works and he was asking about me. she told him that i was happy with my boyfriend and i never mention him.
he went to my old house and when he got told i didnt live there he went across the road to my friends house (she told him to get lost)
he grabbed me in town yesturday and was talking like nothing had happened. i told him to get lost and walked away from him but he followed me so i went in a ladies underwear shop.
2006-12-05 07:05:40 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
what is going on and why wont he take the hint?
my friend has just text me to say he is in the pub where she works again.
i dont want to involve the police but what can i do to make him **** off?
2006-12-05 07:07:00 · update #1
Get your boyfriend to warn him to leave you alone......Or warn him that is what your going to do if he does not go away
Good luck, if it gets too bad and your worried for your safety inform the police, its harsh but you have to come first xxxx
2006-12-05 07:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For the same reasons you dont want to involve the police, you cant involve your new bloke either. Reality is, its your mess obvioulsy you have left the previous relationship untidy regardless of the actual termination. For some reason, this ....idiot is attempting to intimidate you, if only to put an end to your new relationship.
Dont leave yourself open to "attack" dont appear vulnerble. Have someone with you at all times till its sorted. You have to stand up for all you have achieved and gained since the split...think of everything... next time he confronts you remain calm and MEAN what you say, dont be off handish or rude. be level headed but loud and clear. Say you will inform the police though i would draw the line at involving anyone else, for their safety. Girlfriends/ boyfriends may mean well and offer to help but that could inflame the situation. I would honestly say involve the police right now!!! just so they can keep tabs....be safe and good luck to you and ur new fella.
2006-12-07 10:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by ~☆ Petit ♥ Chou ☆~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Trust your instinct, if you smell danger, inform the police.
2. If you think you can do it on you own, Talk to him. It's important to be calm and serious and try not to show emotion when you speak to him. Don't get angry, don't cry, nor should you try to show sympathy to appeal to his softer side. By controlling your demeanour, he will get that you mean business and it's better not to mess with you!
3. When you speak to him tell him
a. you do not have feeling for him anymore, nor do you wish to 'just be friend'. You don't want him in your life, period.
b. He should not bother your friends. It's causing negative feelings about him and it's not working.
c. Tell him you wish this is the last time you'd speak to him nicely. The next time he does anything in such harassing nature,
you will report to the police.
4. It's good to talk to him in a public place such as a cafe. Ask your boyfriend to be nearby (eg. two tables away). When you finish your talk with your ex. walk away with your current boyfriend. Your boyfriend shouldn't talk to him unless the situation requires. However, it's okay for him to throw your ex a 'meaningful' look.
Good Luck! and Be strong!
2006-12-05 07:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by pathanChe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time u see him, try to talk to him. i know that you've tried to, but u really need to point out some home truths to him.
1) tell him that it's over 3 years since u split up, u have moved on, and are happy with your life.
2) point out that it was him, and not you that caused this relationship to fail, and that even if u were single, u would never be able to trust him enough again to get involved
3) tell him that you do not like being followed, and your friends don't like being hassled either. say that u wish him well with his future, but u do not want to be part of it.
i would do this somewhere like a pub, or somewhere that u won't be alone with this guy.... at least if he starts to lose his temper, u won't be alone.
if he keeps on following u, or starts threatening u then PLEASE go to the police..... i know u don't want to, but it would be for your own safety. he needs to know that he can't get away with bothering u like this.... and if u let it keep on happening, things might get worse.
good luck. hope u manage to get it all sorted out.
2006-12-05 07:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's suddenly realised what he threw away! If you feel you can get your boyfriend to have a quiet word or another male friend I'd go that road first. Otherwise go to your local cop shop and at least have it on record that you are being harrassed,a quiet word from them might do the trick.
2006-12-05 07:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the police for advice. You haven't said how your current boyfriend feels about this. Ask him to have a quiet word with the guy.
2006-12-07 21:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by michelle p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called stalking! Get a restraining order and then have him arrested if he comes within 50 yards of you.
2006-12-05 07:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by Roberta 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a hit man to sort him out
2006-12-07 03:22:03 · answer #8 · answered by keith_hunter_g7pqb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to get a life and stop bugging yours
2006-12-05 07:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by Im cool like that 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say it but either you have to talk to him or get a restraining order! or both if talking to him doesn't make him realise that you've moved on
2006-12-05 07:09:43 · answer #10 · answered by Kirsty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋