My Marriage?

Question

Well, Ive been married for almost 2yrs to the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. There have been things that bother her about me and Ive made changes. I love this person more then anything in this world. We have 3 kids between the both of us. She has 2 and I have 1. The children have grown so close to each other as well as I have grown close to them. She wanted a house and I did everything I could to buy her a house and I did. All I live for is to satisfy and please this woman. Ive gone thru leaps and boundaries. Recently she packed some clothes and said that she isnt happy and that she needs to be by herself. Its close to christmas time and I dont know what to do with myself. There is no other person I want to be with. I dont understand. She says she needs to find herself again. She thinks she lost herself. Im trying to do the best I can to handle this but I fear I may lose this person forever and it breaks my heart more then anyone can imagine. She is my life.

Answer 1

This is American way of living which is most materialistic and selfishness oriented. Do not be emotional, you will suffer more. Be realistic. Friendship is two way traffic. You can not call the shots, always.

Answer 2

Sometimes when people are together for a long time, they put so much effort into pleasing each other and doing the things that the other person wants them to do, that they loose track of who they are and why they were together in the first place. I know that going through all of this can be hard, but the best thing that I can suggest doing is just to be there for her. Try to work something out where the 2 of you can sit and talk every once and awhile just to stay connected. Be honest with her and let her know how you are feeling,but You don't want to push her. If you push you may in up pushing her away. Give her some space and let her figure things out, as long as you are there for her she will come back to you.

Answer 3

First off, you cannot exist to satify someone else. You have to love yourself before someone can love you back! Maybe she doesn't know the true you if you're only there to provide for her and the kids. the house is a symbol of stability. good thing. Her needing to find herself? That's pretty normal. I don't know your age group, but she may just need some time/space to think. Women think differently then men. Don't assume the worst, but be realistic. If you changed every time she needed you to, you gave her no challenge. Marriage is about teamwork and it sounds like there's just one team...team wife! If you give everything to her what's left for you? your kids? I'm no expert, but I've been in many bad relationships and am in the best relationship (together 9 years married 3). All I can say is give her time and let her know that you need to find yourself, too. Maybe you can help each other do this. Take care of #1: the kids and you!

Answer 4

I am truly sorry you are going through this pain, I put my husband through the same thing last year. I packed my things and told him I needed time alone. I loved him more than anything we have 3 kids grown up, within 2 months I have realized that the reason i left because i was so fearful of a man loving me unconditional, and i was left with an over whelming feeling of emptiness. i went to counseling the root of my problem was I had a fear of abandonment from my childhood so I decided to come home to my true love and stay in thereby, i hope and wish you well

Answer 5

well I know that you must be in some real pain here and I completely understand but you knwo that everyone wanst there time to themselves every now and then and maybe she feels that you guys are one and she has no idenity of her own anymore and maybe she feels that if she spends some time along with her self she can connect with her self again yes It may be hard for you to be away from her but sometimes thats what a person needs is sometime away from everything to re-connect with themselves again because there is no point in being in a relationship with a person you don;t know if they don't even know themselves anymore...(i hope that made snese) that just makes the relationship more complicated and problems can occur so maybe this could be a good thing for the both of you, your just going to have to have trust and faith that she will not do anything drastic like leave you or anything like that and hopefully things will turn around.

Answer 6

Wait. Give her her space and just wait. The more you reach out to her the more you may be pushing her away. If she is asking for time....then if you love her give her that. Yes you will take a big risk on losing her....but who's to say you already hav'nt? You will never feel complete knowing that she is with you by her choice or not. Is it not important for you to know that she is with you because she wants to be and not because she was prssured into being with you? Don't be with anybody that does not want you in the same equal way. If her love for you is still strong, then she will be back ....if not....just let her go.....

Answer 7

She obviously is going through a rough period in her life. My suggestion is to call her up and invite her out to dinner. Tell her you are there for her whenever she feels she can talk. Express your feelings about spending Christmas together, but don't force her into anything. The best thing you can do for her and your relationship is to give her a little space. Hopefully she'll find what she's looking for and come back to you. Good luck.

Answer 8

Its too late to say now but you should NEVER make another human being (other than your children) YOUR life for reasons such as these. You praobably feel as if your life is over if your not with her. Thats not fair to her or yourself. The most cruel thing about human relations is you cannot control the emotions of another human and as much as you want her to feel for you the way you feel for her...she doesnt. You have to deal with that. You too need to find yourself and find another reason to WANT to live and breathe. I wish you well. I know its tough and rough right now, but you will get through this.

Answer 9

I'm a woman and this is going to sound terrible but you need to toughen up. It seems to me like you treat her like a goddess and that's not working so do the opposite. Dont call her and if you do speak be "cold".Dont cry and dont beg her to come back.I know it sounds crazy but take it from another woman, we like a challenge!

Answer 10

i am sorry. but i think u should be talking to her and see why is this happening. after all you have done for her she should give you at least decent answers and not just pack and leave...like some coward.may be she feels guilty and she cant face you but this is her problem. even if she needs space or whatever. u cant treat people like that. earlier u know the truth earlier you will start dealing whit it. you don't deserve to be treated like this!!!!!