2006-12-05 06:15:39 · 59 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm with you, let me know how it turns out and I will follow your advice with my own daughter.
2006-12-05 06:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO, NO NO and NO!! IF you determine a looser by the amount of money a person makes, then you are very shallow.
You should ENCOURAGE her to marry someone who loves and respects her. A man who will treat her with respect and honor. A man who will not abuse her in any form. A man who can provide for the needs of the family (you know food on the table shoes on the feet, a warm place to sleep), a Mercedes is NOT a neccesity. You should also ENCOURAGE her to find someone who shares the same faith as her, and the same commitment to those values. Someone who shares the same basic beliefs, values and parenting style.
If she is getting married, then she most likely is an adult. You have taught her all that you can and you need to let her be an adult. Step back and let her become the person you taught her to be.
Notice that I never used the word "INSIST" I used the word ENCOURAGE. That is all you can do now. Let her be an adult and make her own choices, even if you don't think they are the best. If you INSIST and try to force her to do things your way, you will strain your relationship and push her away. Just treat her like an adult and back off.
2006-12-05 06:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people in our country marry for love and what is our current divorce rate? Over 50%. These numbers seem to indicate a need to revamp our spouse selection process. Parents need to educate their children, however, maybe the parents are incapable of such a task because of their own poor choices. We teach everything else in school, why not classes on dating and marriage. Explanations of what attributes make for a good spouse and parent, where to find such a person, how to become such a person are desperately needed.
Sometimes Mom and Dad's choice is the best choice. Who has more life experience to base such an important decision on? A twenty year old or a 45 year old?
There is nothing wrong with suggesting your daughter seek someone who is ambitious, a self starter, problem-solver, a creative thinker, is financially secure and considered successful personally and in business. A winner.
But INSISTING can backfire on you--be careful on how you word your request.
While no one is actually a 'loser', they just aren't as successful when measured by the $ yardstick.. He may be wonderful but has low marketable skills. He works at entry level jobs, drives an old car, quit college, but he can be really nice and funny and good looking too. And maybe he even has decent prospects for the future.
Parents always want what's best for their kids, so I see nothing wrong with this dad wanting his daughter to do well and marry well.
2006-12-05 09:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Marsea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question implies that you believe that all people who are not wealthy are losers and that those with wealth are somehow more worthy human beings.
Newsflash: There are plenty of wealthy scumbags out their just as there are plenty of excellent human beings who have little in the way of physical wealth (particularly in their younger years).
Take me, for example. When my wife and I started dating I was a dirt poor working musician/part time window washer (what you would probably consider to be a loser). Now some 20 years later I am a very well paid professional (software engineer). However, my profession and income are not the point. Of my wife's and my 5 siblings we are one of only two couples who have not been through nasty divorces as well as other less than pleasant life situations. I believe myself to be an excellent father to our two children and am proud to say that in all of our years of marriage I have never strayed.
Perhaps you should re-examine your definition of "loser". Keep in mind that she is in a much better position to know a heck of a lot more about the underlying character of the young man in question than you are.
2006-12-05 06:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life isnt all about money even though the world makes it that way because everything costs money. If she doesnt love this wealthy man and is not happy with him then why marry him? Its not fair to the both of them. I'm sure he would want a wife that loves him and not a wife that is only married to him because of his money . She should marry who makes her happy, makes her smile, and is in love with. I think any parent would be happy to see their daughter happy. And whos to say she will go for someone that doesnt make a great amount of money, she will choose when time comes.
2006-12-05 06:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck insisting on anything with your daughter. If she's the sort of daughter who listens to your advice, don't insist. Instead, converse with her and lead her to your conclusion. Yes, she should want to marry someone (not necessarily wealthy) who has the means to live an adequate life.
2006-12-05 06:18:40 · answer #6 · answered by BeamMeUpMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you should insit that you daughter marry a good man instead of a loser. Money has nothing to due with the quality of a person, in fact usually the more money the more negative the character.
2006-12-05 06:18:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's great that your concerned about your daughter, but it's ridiculous for you to even think that she would only marry a loser if not rich. For example their a lot of hard working individuals that are not rich in money, but very rich in love, an in the heart. So advise your daughter to do just that, follow her heart.
2006-12-05 06:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by tysexy25 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money doesnt last forever. However, encourage her to marry a man with a job, and someone who is able to and willing to support her in times of adversity.
That person should also be loving, kind and caring, and above all make her happy.
However, I certainly hope you won't force her into an arranged marriage if her heart is not set on it.
2006-12-05 06:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by honey007rmsas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money does not equate to a winner! Get out of your daughters life and worry a little more about your own! Who's the loser now, chump?
2006-12-05 06:18:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If we lived in an ideal world where we controlled whom we fall inlove with than yes, however we dont and unfortunatly you cant tell her she cant be with someone she will only resent you and she probably wont speak with you after she marries. So only let her know the kind of life she can lead with certain men and who knows she may be the bread winner in the family
2006-12-05 06:21:52 · answer #11 · answered by Kara B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋