Stupid question?

Question

Okay so Ive broken down and turned to you people for not an answer but maybe a solution. 6 months ago I gave birth to my second child and we want to make his first xmas speical. I also have a 13 yr old daughter who is as I type this once again in the Pedi ICU battling her lung disease. We do not honestly know how much more time or how many more holidays we will have with my little angel. She told us she wanted "lots and lots of lights" so when it was -20 degree's outside her stepfather and I put the baby down for a nap and went outside to freeze our butts off to grant her this wish, which she will see when she comes home {hoping before xmas} anyhow our neighbors are just outraged at us. We live in a very upscale neighbor hood and both sides of us have told us we have gone over board and should remove some of the lights. It is not tacky at all just icecicle lights on the house, porch, privacy fence, bushs and a few lawn orniments and lighted candycanes.

I have told them to back off its for my daughter but due to the "highclass" attitude these people have they dont seem to understand. How can I survive the holidays' bring a smile to my daughters face and still get along with my neighbors during this time. Normally we are a quiet family living in a quiet neighborhood and have never called attention to ourselves but apparently the lights and decorations have become an issue and topic of discussion among all our neighbors

HOA has no set limitations in regards to decorations for holiday's in our community

Answer 1

Disconnect some of the lights for now, but don't take them down.

The night your daughter comes home, or maybe for two nights when she arrives, re-connect all the lights and put on a bright display for her.

Explain to her that you want to grant her wish for a night or two; however, some of the lights are too bright for the neighbors, so it's more considerate not to shine them all every night. Disconnect some of the lights after the second night.

Also, take her around the neighborhood to see others' displays.

If you're afraid she won't make it home for Christmas, photograph or videotape your fully-lighted house and others' houses, and show the pictures or video to her in the hospital.

Alternative: have a bright array of lights inside rather than outside. (Keep it safe: some lights are indoor only, some outdoor only, and some indoor/outdoor.)

Answer 2

To be honest with you, I would go with what your heart tells you. Your baby girl is what is important, and that is clear by what you wrote. It sounds like you're trying to fix everything and make everyone happy, and I am quite the same, I never want anyone to be unhappy. But in this situation, I would do what's right for you and your family. If your little girl wants lots of Christmas lights, go with it, heck even add more to your home if you want. This is a time for you and your family to be together, and if your neighbors cannot understand that, that is their issue, not yours. It's not that you're doing this to spite the neighborhood, you're doing this to grant your daughter's wish. Try to let whatever your neighbors are say not stick with you, it is their opinion. Be pleasant but be firm, this is what you're doing for your daughter, and don't let this ruin your Christmas for you and your family. My best wish and thoughts are with you and yours.

Answer 3

dear, you can change your place/neighbors at any time, but you can never change your children!
it also seems you have a sweet heart who needs special attention and care since her life is jeopardized by a lung disease (hope from the bottom of my heart to have a miracle and to make your little angel cured since i have a 1 1/2 baby girl with special needs as well).
it also seems that you are putting these lights in your house perimeter, so it is ONLY your family's concern! You will be paying the bill right and not your neighbors!
But on the other hand, you don't want to have any dis agreement with ur neighbors since ur little angel might feel un ease once they see her (while she s playing, with you, alone....etc...) so I suggest sending a flower bouquet with a small letter to each one of them apologizing for the SHORT inconvenience you and your family may caused to them and explain your special situation and your little sweet heart's special request.
As well, your daughter should be informed that next year, no excessive lights will be put on in order to please the others; and since xmas is all about giving and pleasing, you as family will grant your neighbors their wishes!
Hope everything will turn the way you wanted best and god bless

Answer 4

Okay... to appease your neighbors (since they all seem to be Scrooges and Grinches) go ahead and take down some of the lights. I say some, not all. Talk to the people in PICU about bringing her a christmas tree, or stringing some lights over her bed or something while she's still in the hospital... Also, if you can, try putting more lights up in the house for your daughter when she comes home. It's not outside so your neighbors can complain, and it'll be more personal for your daughter, especially if you can get some up in her room.

Answer 5

If you can maybe bring some lights on a little tree to the hospital to put in her room, if they let that will cheer her up to. Even if your neighbors are stuck up dont let them hurt u or ur little girl right now. You now hoe much it would mean to her and you know why you are doing it and to me that is all that counts. So what if they get pissed they will get over it they will complaine till christmas ad then it will be over but ur little girl will remember those lights forever and you and ur husband will remember that look on her face for as long as you both will live. So you need to really just ask yourself what is more important to you, to see that look on your little girls face that will last a life time or neighbors that are being as*es? I f I was you I would say forget the neighbors and just concentrate on ur angel seeing you dont know how long u have with her and seeing that neighbors come and go but ur baby is your baby. I hope I have helped you out some dont fret about the neighbors worry about ur baby girl u have enough to worry about right now so worry about what more important to u.

Answer 6

Uh, sorry darlin but I wouldnt be trying to get along with these arrogant snobs, if i was in your situation i would be perfectly happy telling them to shove it. anyways just concentrate on your little girl not your grouchy scrooge neighbors, especially if they know the situation those arent exactly people you should want to be buddys with anyways i hope your daughter enjoys the lights and has a nice xmas

Answer 7

If your daughters time on earth is short, and sadly, that's what it sounds like, do whatever it takes to make it the best you know how. As for your neighbors, they obviously dont' or won't understand your situation. They matter so much less tha your dear one. That should hopefully put your situation in perspective.

Answer 8

Leave the lights ^. There for your daughter, and she asked for alot of lights. Don't worry about what your neighbors say!!! The only thing that should be running through you and your husbands head is that your daughter is sick, and she wants too see alot of pretty lights. *I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope she gets better. And I HOPE all well to you and your family!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

Never heard of too many lights - especially in Texas! Unless your HOA fines you, don't worry about the neighbors. And if the HOA has restrictions, explain to them the situation.

Answer 10

I feel for you! It's a sad day when people can't find compassion during the season of giving. I personally would call my local news company and let them know of this story. Watch how fast you quickly get community support. Good Luck and Best wishes for your family :)