Please can somebody tell me, in scientific terms, just how Father Christmas (that's "Santa Claus") actually manages to distribute all those toys in one night using just a sleigh and some reindeers? And how does he get into houses without chimneys? No-one has ever adequately explained this to me.
Please - no flippant answers like "it's magic"... We are not talking Harry Potter here, are we?
2006-12-05 05:48:24 · 16 answers · asked by grpr1964 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
You see - there's a gap in the market for all those parcel delivery companies that try to deliver when you are out, then grumpily refuse to specify a time for re-delivery and force you to drive miles to the parcel depot early on Saturday mornings. If Father Christmas were to hire out his expertise on a 365 day a year basis to these companies, he would make an absolute mint!
2006-12-05 07:13:32 · update #1
Time stands still for Father Christmas on Christmas Eve, that's how he's able to distribute the presents in one night. As for getting into houses with no chimney, he must have a skeleton key!
2006-12-05 05:51:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you blew Santa's cover.
Here's the truth........
The reindeer (who are not quite as young as they once were) and the sleigh do exist, but they are restricted to the "Santa Themepark" somewhere in Finnish Lapland, and fed with pre-packed, frozen Scottish heather specially flown over courtesy of Walmart as it approaches the sell-by date.
Santa Enterprises plc (now a branch of "Yohoho - China"), has had to come up to date; what with the increases in world population and globalisation.
Basically, the toys are made in China, and then shipped anytime after December 26th, to various distribution warehouses throughout the world; courtesy of various shipping companies and transport operators such as DHL and UPS.
Now getting on a bit, Santa relies heavily on a team of young Finnish Rally-Drivers with impossible-sounding names, who scorch around in Subaru WRCs, seeing that everything is working on time, and that everything is in the right place by November 1st.
These brave young men are often seen playing high-speed games on frozen lakes during the dark winter months, when they're not plunging into icy water after a spell in the sauna, where they beat each other with birch branches.
Of course, the ordering system has had to change. Now fully computerised, the whole thing is very professional, complete with scanners and tracking systems; thus ensuring that the toys and gifts don't end up in strange places, such as Muslim countries during Ramadan.
Of course, it is a bit of bone of contention that there is considerable Jewish involvement these days, but as always, the Jews were the first to offer their expertise for free, and showed Santa the benefit of piling the toys high and setting the lowest possible prices.
Now I hope no-one will breathe a word to the children about this, but Santa doesn't actually go down chimmneys anymore, or even visit houses.
Oh no! They've come up with a much better idea!
A single advert was all it took, and now there are 132,871 young Poles who do the packaging and run from street to street delivering the parcels, dressed as Elves. They have to run, because they are not paid travelling time: only for the actual packing and picking work in the warehouses. Sadly, they haven't time to climb down chimneys, even though this is expected of them after they've swept them.
But in spite of all this, Christmas is still Christmas, Santa is still Santa, Scrooge is still Scrooge and humbug is still humbug. Some things can't be allowed to change, can they?
I know this, because I write to Santa every year, and always get a reply through the post. It's strange how his handwriting has changed from year to year, but at least he DOES write back, and I KNOW he exists.
As for all those Christmas Cards, and the fact that they miraculously drop through the letterbox in time for Christmas....well...it's just magic innit?
2006-12-05 14:39:18 · answer #2 · answered by musonic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Santa is the distributor, the elves are the manufacturers and Mrs. Claus is the accountant. And Santa also works for Fedex. There the next day or your money back. Peace. As for going in the houses, he has a skeleton key.
2006-12-05 14:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by zzap2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rent the Santa Clause, and the Santa Clause 2, and if you still haven't figured it out... go to the theatre and See Santa Clause 3
2006-12-09 01:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my kids asked this question I came up with this on the net - maybe it'll help you figure out how he gets around. Its also quite a fun site for Cristmas Eve - gets the kids to bed!
And as for getting into houses with no chimneys, everyone knows he has a special key that opens all doors!!!!!!
http://www.noradsanta.org/en/default.php
Keep the magic going...........................
2006-12-05 13:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by Julie S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It involves String Theory and a very old loin cloth.
I don't really have the time to go into it here, but I suggest you research the common groundhog if you are serious about finding an answer.
2006-12-05 13:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by Samurai Jack 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, we are talking magic here! Faher Christmas is capable of stopping time.
2006-12-05 13:51:39 · answer #7 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keys hidden & plenty of big helpers,ho ho Have A Merry Chritmas.
2006-12-05 13:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a skeleton key to use in houses that dont have a chimney. xxx
2006-12-05 13:50:40 · answer #9 · answered by starlet108 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he employs loads and loads of little elves to help him as for gaining entry to the house he knocks on the adults bedroom window and asks nicely to be let in. it's obvious really........now you know!.......happy xmas.
2006-12-05 13:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by johnfrancis 01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋