Marriage Troubles?

Question

My husband treats me like I am just a maid. I work two jobs, take care of a four month old, pump breast milk every 6 hours (usually takes an hour), care for our two yellow labs, do laundry, cook, clean, take care of the bills/family finances, etc. However, yesterday, as I was walking out the door at 4:30 to my second job, my husband started to complain to me that I had not cleaned the house yet (I worked both jobs yesterday, AM and PM). All I had done was ask him if he could put a fresh sheet on the bed. I don't get any days off, between both jobs, I work seven days a week (most days I work both jobs) and I'm going insane. He works too, but he gets weekends off and as I work each weekend, he watched television and naps (he lets the baby sit in her swing the whole time I'm gone). I don't mind that I have to work two jobs to keep the family going, but come on, we can't share the household duties? I work too. He's hardley affectinate to me; Why does he treat me like I am just a maid?

Answer 1

if he treats you like this, he will treat your daughter like it, and she will marry the same kind of jackass, is that how you want to live, and how you want your daughter to end up?????

Answer 2

Sounds like he doesn't appreciate you and is taking you for granted. Quit doing so much. Make him take care of himself! You are not a maid and you shouldn't be treated like one. Have you told him how you feel? I know that I had to tell my husband to help me. They don't just know what to do, you have to tell him. I work two jobs as well and I told my husband either I quit this second job or you help around the house. We can't be expected to do everything! If he doesn't want to help then you don't do anything either. Why should you do everything?

Answer 3

Because he knows he can get away with it......sounds pretty crappy but true....believe me I know my husband was the same way there for awhile and finally I said enough was enough so I stopped all cleaning cooking and sex and i even stopped talking to him for a couple of days......finally he got tired of the whole thing and aked me whats wrong so i told him and he straight up told me hey why change something when it already has a routine....so i finally realized that i didnt do my part by having good communication with him and telling him how i felt.....so maybe you should just sit him down and tell him how you feel about the whole situation....good luck!!!

Answer 4

I can understand with you that is exactly how my husband treats me. I would quite the second job if you can. And I would tell him how you feel that the relationship needs to go both ways. It will take some time for him to understand. I told my husband over and over again how I felt and finally he is changing and trying harder to help me I wish you the best of luck with everything.

Answer 5

Sorry lady - you may be stuck with it. Some men will pitch in without being asked and some will once they are asked - they don't notice things not right or dirty - but you got one that does notice and does nothing about it. Chances are all he wanted was a maid and an occasional whore. It ain't a pretty picture, but that is what it looks like from here.

Answer 6

Why does he treat you like you're just a maid? Maybe because you have tolerated his behavior so long that he doesn't feel like he has to respect you.

You need a partner; someone who will work with you, support you and appreciate you. If you are doing all this alone, you don't have to do it married to him. If you're going to live like this, you may as well live a better life without him.

Answer 7

if he truly loved u he wouldn't treat u like this. u can't be expected to keep it all going with no help, i happen to know that all men aren't like this, and u should tell him how u feel, and maybe ask him to go to counciling, but if he refuses than maybe it's not going to be worth it, if u can't see it ever changing. maybe best to get out of it now while your still young enough. he has no concience at all, when he can sit here and watch you doing all of the work, he doesn't care a bit. maybe it is time to confront him, and not worry if he threatens abandonment, u have to resolve this, and the longer u wait the more resentful u will get. u need to be firm with him, and be prepared to leave the marriage if it doesn't change for u.

Answer 8

Hire a maid.
Threaten to quit a job unless he helps around the house.
Stop cleaning and tell him until he helps you will not lift a finger.

Answer 9

Why? The answer is quite simple my dear. Because you let him. Plain and simple. So...either put your foot down and take a stand on this issue and announce your demands or break out the breast pump and just carry on as you have been.

No one can help you until you begin to help yourself.

Answer 10

Honey, Don't even pay any attention to the crazy shi* these people are saying. Girl, you stand by your man. You need to sit him down and explain to him how worn out you are. You need to talk and make him understand that he needs to help. I have learned that people only do to you what you let them. You need to back off doing EVERY THING. He will get to a point to where he will get fed up looking at the house being a mess. And if you run out of food he will get hungry. And he will go to the store.

Answer 11

Sounds like a jerk. And you are a sucker if you put up with it.
Quit one of your jobs. Just do it. Reduce yourself to one full time job and if he wants to pick up the slack by working more and making up your lost money great - at least he'll be doing SOMETHING.