my new husband and his exwife plan on going in on a x-mas gift for thier son.they have spent alot of time on the phone going over what they are going to buy for him.this normally would not be a big deal but his ex has made our life hell.she has made it very clear she can't stand me and wants me to have nothing to do with her son(he loves spending time with me and no her husband did not leave her for me)takes my husband to court to get more money from him(he allready pays MORE than the courts require so his son can keep his lifestyle))talkes badly about us infront of thier son to anyone who listens including my inlaws.my beef is we have already got gifts for his son at our house why does my husband have go in with her to get a large gift together?he gives her a ton of child support so its not like she has no money.please tell me should i just let it go and not say anything to my husband(not that it would do any good he always gives into her) and let him buy gifts with her from now on?
2006-12-05 05:01:29 · 3 answers · asked by janemackey06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't mention your son's age, but, you are in for a rough ride kiddo.
If what you say is accurate.
Do NOT make those kind of remarks in front of your step-son (I am sure that you don't anyway) and get your husband (how new?) to a marriage counselor.
He needs to complete his divorce, emotionally, from his ex.
There is absolutely no reason for him to assist his ex in this manor. Education, health issues, etc, yes. Gift giving, NO.
2006-12-05 05:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this is what happens when you become a blended family. This child is the bio child of your hubby and his ex which means they have 100 percent say so in his life not you (not to be mean). The best thing you can do is be supportive and stay out of it. You can love this child as you have been and continue to be a supportive step mother. The ex's immaturity is something you can't control. Letting yourself get involved in her behavior will consume you and take too much energy that could be better spend loving this innocent child. So what if they want to talk for hours about gifts for their child. They have every right they are the parents.
Your husband isn't giving in to her he is doing what is best for his son. That means providing financially and being there emotionally and an active participant in his life. Instead of going off on him you should praise him and compliment him. Send him a card and e-mail or tell him, "I have seen what a wonderful father you are to your son and I want you to know I think you are a great man!" My ex and I have a 12 year old together and we love this child so much. Every chance I get I send his father a card (holidays or birthdays) from our son of course thanking him for always being there for our son and all he does to provide an example of what a real man is. Things didn't work out with us but you should always look up to a man that stands up to his parental responsiblities as a father even though the marriage didn't work out. Don't give in to your insecurities at all. Send the woman some cookies for Christmas or a gift basket. Remember you are in control. You can your step son can bake cookies together for his mother and give them to her. You have no idea what this will do for this innocent child.
Keep your head up. Don't let those insecurities get to you.
2006-12-05 13:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it go...at least they talk...and going in together to buy a gift tells me that they're not competing against each other to be the most generous parent.
2006-12-05 13:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by drgolfmd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋