my ex's parents made him choose between his baby and me or them. he is choosing them. what can i do?

Question

when i became pregnant my ex and his mom and dad wanted me to abort the baby. i couldnt so they made him choose between his baby and me or them. He is choosing his parents. so we talk but we cant let his parents find out. i am now 22 weeks pregnant. The rest of his family support me. so he and his parents dropped the family. he says he cares about me and the baby but he doesnt show it. he says we might be together again one day. but he wants to be there for the baby. what can i do to get him back?

Answer 1

I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this all at once.

Your ex is a loser. He needs to grow up and his parents obviously don't want him to. If you want to get him back and start to live a life with him, you need to talk to him about what it is he wants out of his life, and what he wants for his baby. He is going to be a father and fathers needs to be adults and take responsibility for the well-being of their children, despite what they personally find comfortable or not. Adults also take responsibility for their actions, including the knowledge that if he engages in sexual relations, he can help make a baby!

If your ex doesn't prioritize his child and the mother of his child, then you don't need him. I know that is hard to face, but you are more likely to find success in mommyhood and happiness for your child without him. Otherwise, you will have two babies on your hands. You need a partner.

Answer 2

You don't say how old you are, if your under 19years old figure he is not going to change, look for support from your family. His folks sound like they dont' want him to have to pay child support.
But if you are still in school its a dim prospect, anyways.
If you are 20 or over he might committ some day but not as long as he is tied to his parents. So you are going to have to face the prospect of raising the baby alone or giving it up for adoption.

Personally, I opt for adoption because you will forever be harassed by his parents and maybe him. This way you will never have to have any connection with him at all ever again and move on with your life knowing that the people that adopt your baby will not give him all that baggage that your accumulating right now.

Answer 3

any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad. I don't think he is ready to be a dad. I think you done a wonderful by choosing not to have an abortion. If you would have choose that, it would haunt you forever. Think of this, you have your baby and that is all you need. Yeah It would be nice to have his help, but this will only make you stronger. I wish you the best. And remember don't set yourself for anything less than what you deserve.

Answer 4

Tell him if he isn't interested in doing the right thing now, you don't want him in the child's life later. The problem isn't you, it's the baby. You don't have to tell the hospital you know who the father is. Make him decide NOW. Don't marry him now, just make him get involved now. Never give a person a chance to say, "I had to marry you because of the child" . Good luck and stick up for yourself and your baby

Answer 5

There comes a time for every boy to grow up and be a man. Fatherhood is a good starting place. There should be absolutely no temptation for this guy to even feel like his parents should come before his own children---it indicates disorder when there is any question about this. This guy must realize that his children depend on him and that is healthy. Apparently, his parents depend on him, too. And that is NOT healthy. It's time to separate the boys from the men--his own family must come first.
I'll keep you all in my prayers! Congratulations on your new little one!

Answer 6

why would you even want him back if he left you when you found out you were pregnant, if he wanted to be there for you he would find a way to be there for you and the baby! no man should leave their girlfriend and their baby! there is no reason for that, the only reason i ca think of his he does not know what resposiblity is, so he should leave. do not go back to him, you will be just fine on your own the baby does not need a dad if all he does is come in and out of its life..it will grow up to be much stronger if the baby does not go threw all of that type of stuff...do not do it to yourself or the baby!

Answer 7

Why would you want him back. This should have been an easy choice for him to make, and he made the wrong one. I will never understand how any one could not choose their kid. He should have told his parents if that is the way they were going to be, then he did not care for them to be in his or his kids life.

Answer 8

well number one how old are you? Did you consider adoption? His parents are sick for doing that GOOD FOR YOU FOR NOT LISTENING TO THEM!
Tell him he needs to take responsibility for his actions and not hide behind his mommy and daddy. He did the deed now he needs to act like a man...what is he going to do, live with them forever?
If you are definatly keeping it(not adopting) make sure you give the child his last name on the birth certificate and have him sign it (even if he wants paternity test) and file for child support RIGHT AWAY!
i hope this helps good luck to you.

Answer 9

I say that his parents as well as him..need to grow up!! Be strong and do it on your own!! Let them see what they are missing out on..maybe he'll come around before the baby is born! If not..move on and get him for child support!! GOOD LUCK & CONGRATS

Answer 10

that is a big problem but that is wrong what they did, she should not have to pick, and that is your baby dont let know one even tell you to kill your blood! i hate that, but i think when the baby comes out and he sees his child things will be differnt, if not you do not need him mama