2006-12-05 04:04:21 · 14 answers · asked by calliegirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here is the best explaination I have come up with and I am sorry if it comes across as harsh:
Your relationship with your ex husband wasn't good, which explains the divorce. He and you weren't happy together, maybe didn't really like spending time together. You were probably always with the kid. To be an involved dad he had to hang out with you and he didn't want to do that. He had a better time hanging out with his buddies, so that is what he did. Therefore, indirectly he becomes an uninvolved father, which probably triggered even more fighting between the two of you, which in turn makes the both of you even more unhappy. It is a vicious cycle.
Now you guys are divorced and he gets to hang out with the kid on his own time. He probably feels guilty about time he lost and understands that he wasn't being the best dad in the world and now he wants to make up for it.
Better late then never...
Unfortunately, men are victims of their own inability to express emotion and when they are unhappy, they don't know how to talk about it and it affects everything around them without them even realizing it.
2006-12-05 04:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most of the times mother's get physical custody after divorce and Dad's often get only weekend and or vacation time with the kids. So they want to make it special- sometimes due to guilt, or as a bribe, or to attempt to make the mother look like an enforcer who doles out "real world" stuff- but take it at face value- they don't spend much time with their kids and want to give them the biggest kick in the time they do have.
2006-12-05 12:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he realizes that he should have been more involved previously and is now trying to make up a little for lost time.
He probably also feels guilty and if the kids live with you then he really wants to make sure the time he has with them is memorable.
I know you are probably feeling like "where was all that at when we were together" but you should try and look at it as better late than ever.
2006-12-05 12:29:52 · answer #3 · answered by RedEye 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could not agree with "hotbutter' more. These men who give good men a bad name, will try and bribe their children to side with them, when they should have been good dads from the very beginning. OK, divorce happens, its a sad thing for kids, but it happens. Now, no matter the reason for the divorce, "no matter", the kids welfare have to be the priority. The kids did not choose to come into this world, but its the parents (both of them) responsiblity to provide the best for the children, no matter what.!!!
2006-12-05 12:11:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, he's trying to win his child's love. It doesn't work, by the way. The child will love his parents no matter what they do, but as the child grows, he/she will see through the "gifts" and see the father for who he really is. Does he pay support and visit often? Does he discipline because he cares and wants the child to grow up with integrity? My brother-in-law buys his kids lots of stuff, but they always tell us "He never keeps his promises. He's really very selfish. He uses his gifts to bribe us." They are only 10 and 12, but they know....
2006-12-05 12:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell would you have a problem with him spending time with his kids. He did not want to be invovled with you, and unfortunetly kids got caught in the middle. Now that your not in the picture, he can have a relationship with his kids, and because his time is limited, he makes the most of it. Your kids have and need their dad, quit putting their relationship down becuase you are jealous.
2006-12-05 14:01:45 · answer #6 · answered by ckgene 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suspect in the relationship they felt trapped always thinking and looking for the way out. This can cause stress and emotional withdrawl. Once free from what some men see as the burden of relationship they can open up and express themselves in other ways.
2006-12-05 12:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by Yardie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dad dose not want to look like the bad guy.
2006-12-05 12:08:01 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He does not want to look like that bad guy.
2006-12-05 12:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by a h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they don't want to have to pay alot of child support.
2006-12-05 12:10:05 · answer #10 · answered by KaShae 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋