I have been married for 7months now. We have been together for about 3 years. Before me and my husband started dating, i went out with this guy for about 2 years. He was my first. But he just split on me. I didnt know what happened to him, so i met my husband and we started dating. The question is, i just recently found out that my ex is not in good shape. He was in a party and someone slipped something in his drink. He flipped out and had to be put a metal ward for a few weeks. He is not the same anymore. He has gotten a little back to normal but not the same. My question is, I have been trying to track him down, he is in a Christian mens home and comes to visit his family every sunday. Is it wrong that i want to see him even though im married. Is it wrong that i want to spend some time with him? I really am concerned about him and would love to see him! But is it wrong. I know if my husband ever found out he wouldnt be too happy so is it wrong?
2006-12-05 04:00:38 · 11 answers · asked by ClaralubsEli 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I really want to help him. I think i can help his memory come back. How would i go about telling my husband?
2006-12-05 04:06:46 · update #1
His family never got contact with me because they didnt know how to reach me. This happened right around my wedding, so i have already moved out and got new phones and everything
2006-12-05 04:08:21 · update #2
It is not wrong. He was your first and you never forget them. I am sure your husband had other women in his past that he thinks about. If your marriage is in good shape and your husband is confident in the marriage, I would go. Try telling your husband that if you were ever divorced and he were sick you would visit him.
2006-12-05 04:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey, forget about it. Just read this.
Happy the eyes that can close.
When I close my eyes I can truly see everything. Right in front of me no matter what they say, wishes can come true. When I close my eyes, I feel sunshine on my face and I never want to leave this place. I close my eyes, so Ican see sweet memories of yesterday or the memories of what I have done. Everyone can close the eyes. Every animal can close the eyes. When you close the eyes, that is meditation. When I say ’’close the eyes’’, I like to create knowledge in human beings who never would otherwise get the benefit. If people simply close their eyes daily, they get the benefit of not becoming dualistic for a while. When eyes are closed, there is less duality, more freedom from duality. The power which causes the eyes to be used and creates duality is minimized. So daily, when you close the eyes, you get this simple attainment of non-duality. This is a meditation. When you close the eyes, you see nothing but oneness. Whatever you watch is oneness. When you close the eyes, fire does not reach, sun does not reach. This is meditation. When I close my eyes I see what is. Then I open them again and see what is not. What a confusing experience is this whole world. Yet, in the crevices where the folds of reality meet I find treasures being hell in trust for me and mine. It isn’t every day I can go there. Sometimes I want a very long time before my cheeks can reach for another tender touch. The offerings I find in this inner place are sweet and kind and true. They come from a heart so full, so fine, that all I need to do is open my own to this goodness contained within. I sleep in gentle arms that hold me securely in a sparkling sky. I am like a moon that pirouettes in a silent dance that moves the tides. I am this wonder and so are you, though we are at present in a dream that says we are not. Dare we awaken to all we are within? These are my words. But who listens and who understands. The Space doesn’t change. But one must apply attention.
2006-12-05 04:04:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a big step you're going to take even though your intentions might be for friendship sake or you are just concerned being human but that fact that you had a past with him, and if your husband finds i out that will b a big blow to him, being a guy my first instinct would be is lost a trust in you, second doubt will come in. Those will be the few of many thoughts your husband will have if he finds out without knowing the whole truth. What's going to be worst is if he finds out from other people now that would be more complicated, you know of the saying sometimes people add on other things or info's to stories to liven it up. You know what I mean.
My advice to you is think it over a lot, and if you must better you ask permission from you husband directly at least you would not look guilty to him. Good luck.
2006-12-05 04:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by macky boy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is the christian way to care. There is nothing in your letter to indicate that you want more than to see an ex to make sure he is okay. Be honest with your husband and in fact you may even want to take your husband with you.Caring about people is not a sin. Be honest with you feelings to your husband. If he says no then ask him if you could speak to your ex on the phone instead. Otherwise just be grateful you know that your ex is still alive and trying to get back to normal. Sounds like he has support around him and be grateful for that.
2006-12-05 04:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by trying 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most wedding vows include the words, "forsake all others." You have made a commitment to your husband. Mr. Yesterday left for no explained reason. Are you willing to put your relationship with your husband at risk for someone that just up and left you? I do not think that would be a good idea but it is your decision. If I were your husband I would not care for you devoting time to the past.
2006-12-05 04:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by diogenese_97 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you are a caring person. if you were so close to this man why didn't his family ever try to contact you and tell you what happened? Seems like maybe leaving well enough alone is best in this situation. If you pursue it, your husband will end up feeling rejected and as if he was/is a rebound until you found this other man. It's not fair to him. you know he is doing well and has people to care for him. That should be enough to give you peace of mind.
2006-12-05 04:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by healthykidnow 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should consider this person ancient history. Plus making it a point to visit someone in a drug indiced psychosis can only lead to the possibility of trouble that you don't want in your life.
Heed my word and let this one go. You're responsibilities lie with your husband now and yeah...were i he and I found out you were seeing someone on the side..even in this type of condition...you'd find yourself spending all your free time with the old boyfriend because I'd have tossed you to the curb.
Don't screw up your life. Stay put and let this one go pronto!
2006-12-05 04:08:35 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is wrong. you better not let your husband find out that you're thinking about visiting him. why should you care about this guy when he just split on you one day? you have a man in your life who cares about you already! why wouldn't you want to mess that up to go visit some crazy guy? even if he wasn't crazy its still wrong. I'd be pissed if my girlfriend went and hung out with someone she had past relationships with. why should she want to be with another guy when she's got me??? you are gonna mess things up big time if u go visit this guy.
2006-12-05 04:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All you can do is be upfront and honest about this man with your husband. If your not and he finds out, it might be alot worse. It's not wrong to see him, as long as its just to make sure he's ok. Why not have your husband go with you?
2006-12-05 04:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you feel like helping him i you could be useful then do it but don't let a too close relationship between you two.
you could also talk about it with your husband and try to explain him.
2006-12-05 04:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by DonGiovanni 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋