Did you take back a spouse after adultery and people said that you were an idiot?

Question

Did you take back a spouse after adultery and people said that you were an idiot?
Are you sorry or glad that you did? How long has it been?

Answer 1

Let me say something , people are going to talk about you regardless. That is your husband, no one elses, regardless of what he did in the past or what he will do. That is left up to you and on ly you on what goes on in your relationship. No one's marriage is picture perfect and you can not live for anyone else because you will never be happy. You will be happier lliving for yourself whether your life you choose is good or bad. Everyone has their own probs. They should keep them.

Answer 2

Not quite the same, but my boyfriend cheated during the first year of our relationship. We worked things through (and yes, people thought I was an idiot). That was 13 years ago. We got engaged in 2001 and married recently.

I'm very glad that we worked things through - that he was willing to put up with the hell I put him through for two years while I learned to trust him again (asking where he was going, when he'd be home, with whom, to call me, etc. etc. ), and that I was willing to move forward instead of dwelling so much on the past that it poisoned the present.

We also learned the pricelessness of Communication, and as a result of all of that we can talk to each other now about anything - even things that are bothering us - without the other feeling attacked or getting into a big fight. We also have gotten past the need for one of us to be "right" at the expense of the other being "wrong".

We also know that if either of us cheats, there will be no "second chance" - because this IS our "second chance".

Answer 3

Yes I did, and I am still holding my breath. We had a really good realtionship, exellent family and deseant sex. They night He did it I was at a wedding telling my family how absolutly happy I was. I wished for the bride and groom all the happiness we were blessed with. When I found out I was in compleat Shock! He had nothing to say, no Idea why he would do somthing like that to us. He was said he was very sorry and he really was, I'm just not sure if he was sorry for his betrayal or for getting caught.

I was and always will be so very hurt.
My decsion to let it go was not easy, I ultimately decided it wasn't fair to me to loose my life because he was an asshole. And I believe he is worth another chance.

Here is where it really gets hard. In order for your marrage to have any hope at all of surviving, you have to ABSOLUTELY let it go. You wont have a chance if that one evil monster keeps rearing its ugly head. This is very hard. Can you do it?

It has been a year for us, I dont regret my decison, infact I wouldn't trade this last year even if he he told me today he had cheated again.

However...If that should happen I am SO done It is too F#ckin' hard. You really have to swallow alot to not relate that one betrayal to any future transgressions. I have to walk away and ask my self if things would have bothered be pre-cheat, or if its her in the room again.

What ever you decide it will be hard, Choosing to stay is the hardest. If thats what you decide May the saints be with you.

Answer 4

i can't tell u the many times i took back my first hubby, and believed in him, believed it would work out and be the last time i got my heart broken. but it never stopped, whenever we would have a problem, and he wasn't pulling his weight, or he refused to get a job, than there would be problems, and he would run to someone else. finally i let the other woman have him, and got my divorce. ben over 30 years since than, and the woman he married after me, well all those years i wondered if i was the only one he cheated on, found out he cheated on her during the entire past 30 years, so no i do not recomend ever taking back a cheater, i would rather leave a marriage with my self worth intact.

Answer 5

Well mine is a bit more complicated. I met my now husband when he was married. Of course I found out later. I diecided to stay with him only for him to cheat with her while I was pregnant. I took him back like an idiot. I was not myself while pregnant and thought that I needed him or something stupid like that. He made both of us look stupid. We have a fine marriage now, but we've been through alot.

Answer 6

The one thing your trying to avoid by taking him back which is pain is the only thing you will continue to bring to yourself if you take him back. If its not for the paranoia that will sink in every time he is not in your sight, it will be wondering who is calling on his cell. You probably wont have a moment of inner peace until the day comes that he cheats again. Back in my early twenties I took a bf back after suspecting he cheated. He lied and said he didn't, I wanted to believe it and took him back. I signed myself up to many more months of heartache until I took my idiot hat off. Dont do it. You will regret it.

Answer 7

My wife took me back after I was caught in an adulterous affair.

What goes on between you and your spouse is nobody's business but your own.

Don't listen to anyone. You know what is best for you. Only you can live your life. Do what you think is in your own best interest.

In the case of my wife and me, we discovered that we were still in love, and that we had something worth fighting for.

Answer 8

Rather people say it or not...you are an idiot to take back a spouse that has cheated. I been there done that myself so I am speaking from experience.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, the old addage of 'once a cheater, always a cheater' is true in almost every instance I've experienced with friends and family.

I let a cheater into my life and guess what....ended up being cheated on. I had only myself to blame!

Answer 10

,My husband did that he was in his late 30's, wen she collect the money from her father death she move out and abandon him.
Now I'm her wife and after check the fiances in the old papers, I can say he was an idiot. He did it for the baby...she 20 now and definitely he hurt her more than if he walk away wen he find out.
Now he complains about waist all his life........at late 50's.