A question for the ladies?

Question

ok sooo a little background info...

My boyfriends a dj. He was playing out last night. Bars close at 2am, and he gets done packin up equipment at 2:30 which means he'll be home around 3am. This is the typical pattern.

So I woke up at 4am and found him still not there.

I quickly panicked because my life history has a trend of people not coming home because they were seriously injured in a car accident.

I can't call him. He has my cell phone because his cell phone has been off for God knows how long.... and he needs to be able to call people.

So 4:30am rolls around and he finally gets home.

Now, would you be pissed??? Since there is no way for you to get ahold of him and he knows that, wouldn't it be the right thing for him to maybe come home so I don't freak out?

Should I be mad? Am I over reacting? I know he's not cheating on me.

I just got really upset, and of course his response, the male response, was that I'm overreacting.

We have no house line. And he says he went to smoke a bowl w/ his friends at his friends house. Which I don't understand because he can smoke a bowl at the club...

The club also closed at 2 like always.

Answer 1

Sounds like my EX husband. If it continues, believe me, go with your gut feeling. You have every right to be upset. It was a total lack of appreciation on his part. You are only concerned for his well being.

Answer 2

I would say you're overreacting SLIGHTLY but not all that much. Obviously its a little easier to get uptight about him coming home "late" from work because his job involves working at 2am. If he had grabbed a beer with buddies from the office and had not been home until 7pm when he is usually home by 5:30pm you might have reacted differently. I would try to *calmly* talk to him. Say, I trust you and I don't think that you were doing anything wrong, but this is how I feel when you are not home at the time I think you are going to be. Then you guys need to have an action plan for the next time. If he thinks he is going to be out late he should just tell you he is going to be. Thereby keeping his "options open." I doubt you'll panic if he is early next time. Oh, and you should both have cell phones, or get a house phone. You can get a land line with no long distance calling for like, 10 bucks a month now. And then you can k.i.t. without the worry!

Answer 3

Girlfriend, don't believe him at all....If he was where he said he was, he would have called....

He does not have his cell phone on so you can't call him and catch him cheating.....Never think that a man who is a dj is not cheating...

I've been in your shoes with a dj boyfriend and he was a mut and he was cheating....You can pop up in the club and you will not be blind anymore because he could be more responsible...

This man gave you a stupid answer and brushed you off....If a club closes at 2am and he's home 2 in a half hours later...he's smoking more than you think, he licking and sticking something else and it is not yours...

Next time he come home that late, try him and act like you're coming on to him to make love to you...if he pushes you away, his d**k will not get up and he had just had sex......

oh, you gave a man your cell phone and he is a dj...How blind are you? The girls that are calling will tell you that he is suppose to dj for them....Don't be stupid and WAKE UP and see this man is cheating as long as he keeps coming home like that....

Answer 4

Has he been acting strangely that last few days? Has any females been calling him on the cell or home phone? Have you checked to see if he called a female last night? What I would do is call a few of my girls and have them pick me up and take me to where ever he's spinning records @ and then follow him after the club or whatever is closed to find out if he's a playa.I would change my cell phone number quickly and by him a new one. You did the right thing.

Answer 5

That is always what they will say. One night I was at home and my mom came home, set her purse, keys, and phone down... and left. Three hours later I had the cops there and she just... showed up! I was so worried! And pissed! So I left and went to my boyfriends! Well, I got there about 10pm and he had finished a bottle of whiskey (he had bought at 3pm, he is a heavy drinker, unfortunatly) He knew I was upset and told me to go to bed and that he would be there in a second... I heard him going outside to let the dog out and I passed out... I woke up at 2am and he had not come back. Of course I freaked the hell out!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought he had wandered off drunk and got hit by a car or fallen down somewhere! He was hanging out with our neighbor! Oh man. It took me an hour to find him! He said I was overreacting too. You have just got to deal with it, because they won't understand. Maybe try getting him a new cell? A prepaid one? Or SOMETHING so that you will be able to get ahold of him because people seem to drive like idiots at night!

Answer 6

Why couldn't you call from your land line? Or if you don't have one, just get another cell phone.

Also, did he have an explanation for why he was late? I mean, if the club decided to stay open until 3:30 or something, and he had the opportunity to work extra hours, thats cool. And with the time being so late, he might not have wanted to call, thinking you were asleep and not wanting to wake you.

Answer 7

Well, Yeah you should be pissed off. Because, he is one of those people that are inconsiderate and doesn't really care if you got upset or not. Maybe that he wasn't cheating or maybe he was. You don't know and never will because he is inconsiderate and won't ever convince you other wise, because he don't care what you think. I have a wife that pulls crap like that on me and I'm about ready to end it with her. If I pulled that crap, it would never fly. Just my opinion, get away from the jerk. I know it's easy said than done. I know that I will plan on doing that very same thing on her before I exit the relationship. Show them what it feels like!

Answer 8

Well dear, it seems like you got a little too paranoid and neurotic.

Your past experiences make you react a certain way... and sometimes is not the right thing to do because he is not the same person as the ones in the past.

If you have no reason to not ttrust him, then apologize for your exageration and explain that you were concerned about his safety. Tell him that you would like his cellphone service to be restored as that is an basic safety precaution.

Good luck

Answer 9

no you are not over reacting.. if you have a set time for the both of you to be in then that is what it is. he did not call or anything... my first thought would be that he is out doing something wrong but since you have faith in you man, he was probably out with his boys getting something to eat... what ever the reason is it still does not make it better. he should have called.... i tell you what on a day that he is not working you go out with your friends and stay out till 4:30 and see what he has to say about that... i be he will OVERREACT

Answer 10

If you know for a fact that he is not cheating, you are over reacting, He does need to get his own cell phone, that needs to be his goal next time he gets paid. By the way where was he, and was the cell phone he had off, or was he out of range?

Answer 11

So what if it is over reacting, with a past history that he should know, he should understand your worry and be apperciative of it. You just want to make sure he is alright and once you found out he was but he didn't take the time to think about informing you to what was going on, you have every right to be upset.