Its a year since I am married. My husband & i loves each other very much. The only difference is that he drinks too much and can be miserable and embarrassing when he is drunk. When he is under this stuation I am usually lonely for long hours.I am a young wife studying very hard to make a beautiful life for me & my husband. I have no help from him, no motivation except financially. He got me really mad and i left home on sunday. I havent spoken to him since. He is still drinking. Should I go back home. Shoul I call?What should I do?Iam usually very tired and stressed out at the end of the day. I leave home at 5.30am and returns art 8.30pm.I have to do ALLLLL the chores plus study. But he just wont move a pin.I am stressed out with so much home work.Plus I am a working woman.
2006-12-05 03:02:59 · 11 answers · asked by meerielee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AA or DIVORCE!! seriously if you realy love your husband you should try to help him. if you cant help him than maybe a little space would be good!
2006-12-05 03:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by A Proud Marine's Daughter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not go back home if you have a place to stay. Alcoholics are masters of manipulation, remember this every time he speaks to you or anyone. You are clearly very unhappy, who wouldn't be? You are taking care of all the responibilities with no help from him. He is doing nothing for you, ignoring any type of future withyou.Dumphim quick, let go. I know you love him, and you will have some lonely times, but do you really want to live the rest of your life like it is right now? Can you honestly see a real future with him? Is he the man you want to have kids with? You may have thought so when you married him, but it's okay to change your mind. He may have had good intentions as well when you got married. He is not taking responsibility for his actions, and he knows you are unhappy, yet he continues to drink and not get himself help. This is a clear message to you, saying that alcohol is more important than anything else in his life. Take a stand, and walk out the door now. He needs way more help than you can give him, and he has to want help. Hopefully he will one day get healthy and see what he lost in you.
You are goal oriented and a hard worker, you are a healthy woman with good self esteem. Don't let him or anyone take that away from you. Good luck, I wish you the best.
2006-12-05 03:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is an absolute shame that the rotten spot on your apple, which you picked, was not easily seen. You should cut your losses and move on in life. You will have nothing but a life of misery if you choose to live it with a drunk. It won't get any better if you should stay. Just think, what if you had babies to care for. Count your blessings and get out while you can, and find a real man. You appear to be made from the right stuff, my dear friend.
2006-12-05 03:20:41 · answer #3 · answered by J K M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe its time for you and family members on both sides
consider an intervention about his alcohol consumption. If this does not work then maybe ultimatum time simply state to him its me or the alcohol take your pick if he chooses the booze then its best you know now and get a divorce then to live with him for another few years. Another thing though marriage is hard work
and there may come times in the relationship that you may have to deal with stuff you do not want to but thats life and help is around you just ask. God Bless and Good Luck.
2006-12-05 04:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry a drunk??????
Three steps:
1. Call a lawyer. Secure your position. Doesn't mean you are divorcing, you are just trying to protect yourself from financial ruin.
2. DON'T GET PREGNANT
3. Ultimatum: Drinking ends. Period. Help him find out how to quit and do your best to help, but it is HIS demon that HE needs to conquer. You can support him but you can't do it for him. Tell him he has to stop drinking NOW and go to his doctor for a referral to detox. Don't tell him "in 6 months" or something. Now. And tell him that you will divorce him if he doesn't fix this.
He might fall off the wagon once or twice but as long as there is progress being made, stick it out for 6-12 months. If he is still a drunk after a year, time to move on.
2006-12-05 03:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we have to confront, and set boundaries, and spell out in a crystal clear way that we will not put up with it anymore, and separate from them. occasionaly they will than see it is serious and they must make changes in their life. stay gone and don't return until he is willing to stop it and get some help with the drinking. if he doesn't make changes than there isn't much u can do, the decision must be his. as we really have no control over another to make them do anything they don't want to do.
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