My best friend just moved to Alaska with her husband. In the last week, he's been late to army work 3 days in a row. His officer told him that if he's late again that he's going to send my friend(his wife) back home and he won't see her for 6 months. His reasoning for being late isn't great. He stays up playing x-box until all hours of the night. Well, my question is.....Will my friend finally figure out that this guy is a loser and that he doesn't deserve her? I love my friend and believe me, I have tried not to get in her business, but it's amazing how much she loves him and how much she wants him to lover her. I just want what's best for her. Should I leave her alone and let her learn or try and help her out?
Please, don't leave rude and crude comments!!!
2006-12-05 03:01:03 · 15 answers · asked by Amber R 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Yeah, that's a tough one. Probably the best thing you can do is be there for her when she figures it out herself. We can come across as having all kinds of motives (it can even seem like jealousy) when we try to get involved in someone else's relationship. We went through a very similar thing with someone very dear to us. You can't talk sense into someone who's in love (you know how they say love is blind? Well, sometimes it's also deaf and dumb...) Be there for her when she needs you or if she asks you now. Otherwise just stay back for now.
2006-12-05 03:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by boots&hank 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be there for her when her world comes crashing in. If you are able to offer her a place to stay when she gets sent off the base, then that would be one thing you can do for her. He's obviously addicted to the X-Box, & may not smarten up even after he loses his wife from the base.
Addicts need to hit their bottom. If he needs this to happen before he quits the X-Box then it may be a good thing in the long run.
Unfortunately a lot of losers enter the military because they lack self discipline, & hope that the Army structure will be good for them. Many do learn self discipline there, but the extreme losers just have their problems exacerbated. I am not saying that ALL in the military are losers, I believe most who join the military deserve our highest admiration & support. It's just that you get bad apples with every bunch.
While you & I may agree that this guy is one of the losers, I am afraid that your friend will have to figure that one out on her own.
Just be there for her.
2006-12-05 03:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be mad if I was her, he obviously wants to play xbox more than he wants to see her. He doesnt even care if she gets sent home. There really isnt alot you can do when someone is stupid in love, and stupid in love is where she's blindly in love she cant see all of his flaws or how much he doesnt care b/c shes so convinced that he is so great. so really until he messes up again and she gets sent home and the stupid in love curse is broken you cant really do anything you just have to wait. and then at the end of it all you can say told ya so!
2006-12-05 03:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend and I have an unsaid contract. I know I can give her advice and she can give me, but we both know deep down that we are stubborn people and we will never listen. So I think it's fair giving your friend advice, but chances are she isn't going to take it. Tell her how you feel and just tell her you care about her and don't want to see her get hurt, but at the same time, tell her it's just advice and she can use it however she likes, even if that means she doesn't use it at all. She'll respect that.
2006-12-05 03:04:35 · answer #4 · answered by AshleyH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unfortunately she will have to make her own mistakes. Just be there for her when it all falls apart. Either he'll grow up and make a go of it or she'll get smart and leave him. She might have to come back to the states for 6 months in order for him TO grow up and realize what he has.
2006-12-05 03:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by SheRa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact her if u dont have her no them send her mail.Well unfortunately she will have to make her own mistakes. Just be there for her when it all falls apart. Either he'll grow up and make a go of it or she'll get smart and leave him. She might have to come back to the states for 6 months in order for him TO grow up and realize what he has.You can try to talk to your friend, but sadly, it is more likely that she will have to learn the hard way on her own. People are usually pretty blinded by love and hindsight is always.Just be there for her as her friend. If you love her--she'll know you are her friend. Sometime it is hard to sit by and watch a friend we cherish so much go through this kind of thing--but if you interfere too much--you may get the blame and your friendship will be lost.She has to graduate this learning process on her own. All you can do is be there to pick her up after she falls.My best friend and I have an unsaid contract. I know I can give her advice and she can give me, but we both know deep down that we are stubborn people and we will never listen. So I think it's fair giving your friend advice, but chances are she isn't going to take it. Tell her how you feel and just tell her you care about her and don't want to see her get hurt, but at the same time, tell her it's just advice and she can use it however she likes, even if that means she doesn't use it at all. She'll respect that.I would say let her live her life as she chooses sometimes being a good friend means allowing mistakes to happen, although you will be there to help clean up the mess she makes. in a situation like that you have to let it alone. be there when she needs someone to talk to but dont put yourself in a postion to be a home whrecker. if she loves him that much at this time she will learn and it eventually gets old . like i said just be there for her when she needs someone to talk to. "live and learn.I'd be mad if I was her, he obviously wants to play xbox more than he wants to see her. He doesnt even care if she gets sent home. There really isnt alot you can do when someone is stupid in love, and stupid in love is where she's blindly in love she cant see all of his flaws or how much he doesnt care b/c shes so convinced that he is so great. so really until he messes up again and she gets sent home and the stupid in love curse is broken you cant really do anything you just have to wait. and then at the end of it all you can say told ya so Yeah, that's a tough one. Probably the best thing you can do is be there for her when she figures it out herself. We can come across as having all kinds of motives it can even seem like jealousy when we try to get involved in someone else's relationship. We went through a very similar thing with someone very dear to us. You can't talk sense into someone who's in love you know how they say love is blind? Well, sometimes it's also deaf and dumb. Be there for her when she needs you or if she asks you now. Otherwise just stay back for now sorry about u're friend moving. don't tell u're friend any thing, it might upset her and make her think that u;re trying to break them up. let her figure it out on her own. don't ruin u're friend- ship over him. it will just start trouble.people are blinded by love, obviously, you are the only one that sees it, and she doesn't'."His reasoning for being late isn't great. He stays up playing x-box until all hours of the night." that sounds childish to me. maybe one day her vision will be clear. but if you say something to her, she'll think you are trying to ruin her relationship. All you can do is be there for her when her world comes crashing in. If you are able to offer her a place to stay when she gets sent off the base, then that would be one thing you can do for her. He's obviously addicted to the X-Box, & may not smarten up even after he loses his wife from the base.Addicts need to hit their bottom. If he needs this to happen before he quits the X-Box then it may be a good thing in the long run.Unfortunately a lot of losers enter the military because they lack self discipline, & hope that the Army structure will be good for them. Many do learn self discipline there, but the extreme losers just have their problems exacerbated. I am not saying that ALL in the military are losers, I believe most who join the military deserve our highest admiration & support. It's just that you get bad apples with every bunch.While you & I may agree that this guy is one of the losers, I am afraid that your friend will have to figure that one out on her own.Just be there for her.good luck thats all i could say about you by the help of my sis
2006-12-05 03:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by i am not a lovely girl i am cute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people are blinded by love, obviously, you are the only one that sees it, and she doesn't'."His reasoning for being late isn't great. He stays up playing x-box until all hours of the night." that sounds childish to me. maybe one day her vision will be clear... but if you say something to her, she'll think you are trying to ruin her relationship.
2006-12-05 03:07:20 · answer #7 · answered by Aneesa S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her as her friend. If you love her--she'll know you are her friend. Sometime it is hard to sit by and watch a friend we cherish so much go through this kind of thing--but if you interfere too much--you may get the blame and your friendship will be lost.
2006-12-05 03:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can try to talk to your friend, but sadly, it is more likely that she will have to learn the hard way on her own. People are usually pretty blinded by love and hindsight is always 20/20.
2006-12-05 03:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Cakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say let her live her life as she chooses sometimes being a good friend means allowing mistakes to happen, although you will ALWAYS be there to help clean up the mess she makes.
2006-12-05 03:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋