First, if you are going to be mean or hateful, don't bother answering this. I have no one else to talk to so I came here. My husband and I were seperated for 4 months. I started seeing someone else and he knew it. In October, we got back together. The night I came back and AFTER we had make-up sex, he told me he had slept with someone else. I understand he had a hard time because I left him. (Not for anyone, I met the guy later) He had months to get used to the fact that I was seeing someone else. He asked me to come back knowing what I had done. He slept with her ONE WEEK before he asked me to come back. I dumped the guy I was seeing 3 weeks before. To make matters worse, he got me to call the girl he was "talking to" to say that she needed to stop calling. Even now she keeps texting and calling late at night with stupid excuses, like "I was just checking on you." What am I supposed to do? I don't even feel like being intimate with him now.
2006-12-05 02:50:49 · 5 answers · asked by MomOfThreeBoys 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the point that is being missed isnt that I think its ok that I saw someone else. The point is that he waited to tell me he did until after he had sex with me.
2006-12-05 03:04:05 · update #1
well first thing at least you are being honest about it but you can't blame him for what the other person is doing to him by calling him because he did tell you but what i would do now is have him call her and tell her in front of you to stop calling him and if she don't after that then change the number and if she gets it after that then i would want to know how she got it .........i hope that helps you and i hope you two make it work out for you both ..........P.S. don't stop having sex with him because of this other person it really isn't his fault
2006-12-05 02:59:21 · answer #1 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are justifying your "affair" and not his "affair". Affair is in quotes because you were separated and perhaps neither of you had an actual affair.
By the same token, blaming him because she will not go away is not fair. If he is doing something to lead her on, then he is at fault, but only then. He should respond a couple of times to her messages telling her to go away and then ignore her until she actually does go away.
It is not fair for you to hold her against him any more than he holds the guy you spent time with against you. You both found someone else and awfully quickly. Perhaps what you need to do is to analyse your relationship and see if it is based upon a real foundation. You can only build a relationship on a solid foundation or else it will crumble.
Therapy is not a bad idea either. My wife has Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and both of us were abused as children and into adulthood. We went to therapy to learn how to communicate and it has helped us greatly.
Take care,
Troy
2006-12-05 02:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats done is done. If you love this guy and want things to work your both just going to have to live this girl out of your life. Try moving changing numbers. Delete this girl. Also control the sex thing. When you have multiple partner over a period of time it affects us. Good luck.
2006-12-05 02:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by A man ready to commit. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want to get past this then you have to let go what both of you did you cant say it wa sok for you to do it and not him he needs to change his number and cut off contact with her
2006-12-05 02:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by allison b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both need a Marriage counseling both of you sorry no answer for this
2006-12-05 02:55:04 · answer #5 · answered by Mudd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋