My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and he lives in another state. He lives with his ex-wife and tells me because of the kids and because he is in the army. They live on base but Im not so sure now that he is really divorced. Ive called the county where he lives and they show no record of divorce. He visits me often and stays for a couple weeks at a time because he has classes where I live. Anyway to find out if he is really married or divorced??? Serious answers only please.
2006-12-05 02:23:27 · 24 answers · asked by luv_tyman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My guess is if he is living on base with his family they are still married. I suspect you are the frosting on his cake and he is using you.
2006-12-05 02:25:52 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would run a background check on him with a reliable people search. You can yahoo or google him name, and several sites like peoplefinder.com will come up. For a fee, some sites will give you public records like a marriage license request and/or a divorce.
If you want a sneaky way to find out. I would have a friend call from a blocked number or a calling card number, and pretend to be a business with questions that lead to finding your answer.
p.s. when a man lives with his ex, almost always there are still ties there. Especially if he has kids involved, I think he is still sleeping with her. I'm sorry to say it honey, but if you were the wife, and you were completely done with him, would you allow him to live with you and your new boyfriend? - or would you live separately?
PPS. Or you can demand to know. If he really loves you he will want to prove his innocence. J-Lo made her now husband Marc Anthony get a divorce before she considered dating him again. And guess what.. he did it lightning fast.
2006-12-05 10:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by la chica sexy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really doesn't matter what his technical legal marital status is HE LIVES WITH HIS [EX] WIFE!!! So, despite whatever line of bs he's been telling you for the last year, the fact is, he lives with a woman who he got married to.
Basically he lives with his wife.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, here's some practical suggestions -
If you want to play detective, you can always check with his unit or with the Department of Defense (you can pretend to be a business verifying his credit references) and you can find out if she's listed as his wife on his GI life insurance and if he gets a dependent allowance for her.
You've already found out that there are no records of him being divorced in his county of residence. You can also check at the counties that he's previously been deployed in for their divorce records - and you can check whatever jurisdiction he was married in.
But, you know what? Where there's smoke there's fire - you think this guy is still married and, let's face it, he lives with his wife and he's only with you when he's attending classes near your home.
I'd bet your detective work will show you that he is STILL LEGALLY MARRIED TO THE WOMAN HE LIVES WITH
Then you'll have a choice - continuing being a married guy's other woman, his little vacation fling - or finding a single man who can be 100% there for you.
Good luck (but, in your heart, you already KNOW the truth!)
2006-12-05 10:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
sweetie I hate to be the one that has to tell you but me personally I think your his out of town lover.If the county do show theres a divorce then they're still married try the county for married .sounds likje your dealing with a guy that's living a double life. do some research and I mean so hard researching. let me ask you this do you know anyone that stays in the state where he lives,any of his relatives that you can trust to ask? when he's staying with you for those weeks at a time he may be telling his wife he's go on duty for uncle sam.Does he call and talk to his kids when he's there with you.Ask him when was the divorce finalize &askj him to show you the divorce certificate.If he can't provide it to you or comes up with some lame *** excuse then he's still married . hope you find all the right answers DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE YOU CONTINUE WITH THIS REALATIONSHIP
2006-12-05 10:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not the county he lives in that the divorce would show up. It's the county he got married in usually. i think you can go to state records and find it. Try going to the vital records for the state he lives in. There should be a place there for marraige and divorce. You will need both of their birthdtes also I think.
2006-12-05 10:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband is in the military. And just like Richard G. said on post housing is for families only. Unless by military divorce records the only way he'll be able to stay on base in housing is if he had shared custody with his ex. then the military would give him housing to be able to house him and the kids only because he would be considered a single parent. But most likely his still married. or his still married and has a girlfriend living there with him and his kids. But still cheating on you and her is wrong!
2006-12-07 12:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by tina 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you called the court house where he lives and their is no record of divorce then he is not divorced sorry to tell you that but he's not so i would just tell him it is over and not let him stay anymore .....And unless he can prove to you that he is i would say sorry but it is over and leave it at that .......I am sorry for you but also his wife because you two are the ones who will get hurt the most .......Again i am sorry but good luck and hang in their
2006-12-05 10:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Without going the legal approach. Look for a tan line around his ring finger. Try giving him a hickey in a private place. Do you have his phone number where you can call at any time? Sounds strange to me living with an ex because of children but people do it all the time. It is beyond me why.
2006-12-05 10:27:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay , housing is for married families....i am almost certain that being divorced the army will not pay for it then. I would tell him to show you his divorce papers. If he tells you he doesn't have them or lost them, he is not being true to you and you deserve better then that, and so does his wife and kids for that matter. good luck...jenn
2006-12-05 10:44:44 · answer #9 · answered by Army Love 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
hes married...and hes a dog for lying about it...
hire a private investigator...
but your instincts are right..you havent found any divorce records and a clear indicator is he is still living there with her, i bet if you went there to talk to her she is totally oblivious to her husbands behavior...
unfortuntaly along time ago i had a boyfriend like that..we dated, he came to stay with me weeks at a time... then one day his wife came knocking on the door and let me in on the truth.
as i said though, best bet is a pi.
2006-12-05 10:28:45 · answer #10 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You called the court house in the county he lives in and checked, right? If there are no records, dump his sorry ***. Too many men are doing women this way!
2006-12-05 10:26:10 · answer #11 · answered by tinkerbell24 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋