How do you spice up your sex life?

Question

I'm only 23 but i'm married to the love of my life.We have a great relationship.But,I'm not very interested in sex.My husband wants to have sex all the time and I don't.I've talked to him about it and told him how I feel and he's supportive.But,I think it secretly bothers him.I was wondering if you have any suggestions that could make me want to have sex more?I've tried lingerie,talking to him,and even herbal supplements.

Answer 1

whats happened to you that you have closed your husband off like this?

Answer 2

Find a book that interests you regarding spicing up your sex life, and skip to the good parts. Also, I've heard about married people having "date" nights. Also, when you say your husband wants sex all the the time, what does that mean? If he wants it every night, to me, that seems a bit too much. If the problem gets overwhelming, where you're fighting a lot, maybe you can talk to a therapist, alone or with your husband. I would not use herbal supplements or take those crazy pills. You do not know what kind of side effects they could have. I would not be so quick to simply blame yourself for this problem. Maybe, talking to an older married woman (if she is happily married) would also help you. Good luck.

Answer 3

First and foremost, how much foreplay do you guys do? That's very important for a woman, since most women do not orgasm from regular sex - he's got to stimulate you before you guys do it - usualy that means either orally or by hand.

The key spots here are your "g spot" (inside the front of the vagina, just behind the bladder - he can find it with his finger if he puts it in the right way -if you suddenly feel like you have to pee, he's hitting it) and your clitoris, that's just inside the front of your lips - if he rubs you and/or licks you right around the front part of your lips, he should be able to stimulate it (he can try and touch it directly but that's too intense for a lot of women - you might be different, so he should give it a shot)

You should also try stimulating yourself - find out what works on you, and then teach him so he can do it. I'm sure he'll be a willing student!

Women actually have a greater sexual capacity than men do, but they have to learn how to unlock their passion - once you do that, you'll probably be wanting it more than your man does!

Answer 4

Ok my wife is the same way..She isn't really sexual and it really dampers our marriage. Sex is very important in a relationship, maybe not the most important, but it is very important. I am the complete opposite, I love to massage her, I also like to go down, love to kiss and cuddle. We had a ok sex life the first year of our marriage and now its lame. I talked to her about it many times and she says that I don't try etc. Well I do try, I do what she wants and asks for but she isn't sexual.
I think some people just don't like sex. I thought she was sleeping with somebody else but I did my spying and nothing came up, besides I don't like to spy, if it isn't meant to be then soon I will move on. I do think it is possible that women might have problems with their sexual hormones etc. If you don't sleep with your man, your amn will soon feel depressed and like me lose a lot of confidence. It is important, if you love him and want him, go to the doctor and explain what all you feel etc. I am 24 and my wife is 25, we should be doing the dirty at least 3 times a week. Also the women hits her peak at the age of 38-45, a man is peaking at 17-30.

Answer 5

Did you really think that lingere was going to help *you* want to have sex? You walking around half dressed would probably only serve to excite him. You need to find out what works for you, what turns you on. Be logical about it. Think of movies you've seen and books you've read and how they've affected you.

Also, try setting a schedule. If you know you "have" to have sex on a given day, you can focus your energies of figuring out what to do to get in the mood to that day and the days before it, so it's not a constant distraction. Also, that way your husband doesn't have to go extended periods between you trying things.

Talking with your husband is good, but realize he can't read your mind. He can't just magically know what will turn you on. He can try things, but you have to say "I like it when you..." or "I don't like it when you..." or "I wish you would..." or "Can we try..." (By say, I mean with the words comming out of your mouth and entering his ear... hints are bad and a tool of the devil meant to destroy your marriage.)

Sometimes role play can help: we grow up on stories of Snow White and Prince Charming, Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, and other such stories, and we wonder why "Bob" doesn't excite a girl? Maybe you long to be Snow White, and be rescued from a sleep with a kiss? Or maybe you're more the Red Riding Hood type, and need to be devoured by the Big Bad Wolf? Heck, maybe you're more of a Mu Lan type and want to save China and just have the guy tag along for the ride.

But role play doesn't do it for everyone. Some need a change of scenery, or a change of pace. Maybe you feel threatened, and you want to be able to slow it down and take it at your own pace... maybe you need to tie him down so you can explore him and allow yourself to get turned on by him. Maybe you need him to tie you down and take control.

I find that it helps to sleep naked cuddled with each other. You're more likely to learn how to turn each other on the more time you spend naked and touching.

Answer 6

I don't even know if they will let this reply on this site, but here goes....

Foreplay is the key. Men tend to forget that womans needs are different then their own.
1. Close your eyes and enjoy while he repeatedly draws on your body and licks off your body chocolate flavoured body paint!
2. Gently massage your clitoris with an adult toy for a few minutes before - even better?!? - Let him watch! - And even better then that?!?!? - -Let him do it!!!
3. If those options are too risque for you and your partner, try exchanging candle lit body massages.
Find ways to 'build up' to the sex. That will give you the time you need to get in the mood.
Good luck!!

Answer 7

there is really nothing you can do if you don't want to have sex all the time. Im glad that your mate is supportive and thats good. but maybe if you think about sex and how it feels when you are in the mood. maybe that will help the next time knowing its gonna feel good. maybe try some eatable lotions rub it all around. go to a sex store and look around maybe you can get some ideas there good luck.

Answer 8

Sweetheart he is not the love of your life if you don't want to have sex with him. Some women would kill to have a guy like your husband. He sound like a really nice guy. So you better be careful their is only so much a man can take. When he knows that he is married to one woman for the rest of his life and she is not being supportive in the bedroom. One day you just might lose your man to a very horny woman.

Answer 9

Hunny im not sure i can help u there except to tell u to try to talk with him and find out something he has always wanted to try when it came to sex and see if its something u would consider...i am 20 years old and have been married for two years and the same thing happened to me until i did this and it has really kicked things up a notch with me....hope it helps...

;)

Answer 10

Are you on birth control? I was on the pill for awhile and had the same problem as you. I talked to my doctor and she said that a lot of women have low sex drive when they are on the pill so she switched me the nuvaring and I have not had that problem since then. Just a thought...

Answer 11

It's because of your age sweeite... It too will pass I promise, but in the mean time try imagining him with another woman, Sometimes this motivates us to not only proceed with sexual encounters but rock his world for fear of losing him. Keep your head up and congrats on keeping the lines of communication open, that is the number one answer and you've already done it!!!