I caught my five year old son kissing another boy...is he gay????

Question

I was just wondering how old a person is when they realize they are gay. I know five is too early but my son went around saying he liked to kiss boys for weeks. Help!!

Answer 1

no hes five next week he will want to kiss giraffes, dont panic chances are hes not gay

Answer 2

My God, woman! If he pees in public, will you consider him an exhibitionist? Kids will be kids. It seems that you over-reacted to him, instead of just leaving it alone, and that was the reason why he went on about it, to feed off your reaction. It's like the child falls down, and you run screaming and carrying on and fussing at him, he's going to cry and create a big furore to get more attention, but if you just attend to it and don't over-react, he'll accept it as a normal thing and maybe shed a few tears, and then do something else. It is perfectly normal for children to try new things whether they are considered normal or not. Don't fly off the handle whenever these things happen or your overprotectionism will backfire, and you will create a paranoid adult. And don't shield him from new things or you will end up with a boy-in-the-plastic-bubble mentality that you will convey to him by your actions. Don't attribute every unusual developing personality trait to homosexuality or anything not considered "normal". It's part of the learning process to test the waters of anything. If he does turn out to be gay LATER in life, you had better offer your love and support or you will risk losing him.

Answer 3

Boy Kissing Another Boy

Answer 4

Don't put too much thought into it. Don't stress over it. Don't rack your brain thinking about what it means, or doesn't mean. And most of all, don't listen to the wack jobs on here. They say the meanest things. Your son is just being a kid. Let him. Years down the road, if he makes a conscious decision to be gay, he will make it then, not when he is 5. You can tell him it is inappropriate to talk about kissing people in public, but not that it is inappropriate to talk about it with you. That way your communications stay open. If you want to talk to him about "boys" vs. "girls" try talking about relationships, and bring it into there. Don't go too deep, remember he is only 5 and doesn't really know what he is doing.

Answer 5

I doubt wether he would know what gay is at his age. Kids love a goodnight kiss from mum or dad and if he saw two guys kiss in public somewhere he may have got a wrong impression that friends kiss aswell.
I would tell him that this is not a good thing to do because the other kids will make fun of him and his friend if they see them, this will probably be all the warning signs he needs as no youngsters like to be teased.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

My 6 yr old son said he wishes he could marry a boy becuase everyone wants to get a boyfriend and marry him. He is trying to figure out how the world works and since he doesn't know why people get married yet ( the sex part) then I just explain to him that some boys "marry" ( no need to explain the injustice against gays) boys and some girls "marry" girls... but most boys marry girls and vice versa. Our kids are probably just trying to figure out what is the big deal when it comes to things like kissing, marriage, dating, etc. Who knows, maybe in 10 yrs my son will tell me he is gay and I will look back and remember these conversations, but maybe he will grow up marry a woman and have 15 kids. We never know what our kids will become and all we can do is help them with age appropriate information!

Answer 7

Well, I'm not gay so I don't know when they realize they're gay but I think all people do things like this at that age. I remember kissing a boy when I was 5 and I didn't do it cuz I liked him....I did it cuz that's what married people did and we were pretending to be married. Your child is not gay.

Answer 8

One of my best friends is gay, and claims to have known since he was around 5. It's always struck me as odd that this would kick in before any real hormonal action, but I do believe him. I guess that means that some peoples' realisation that they are gay comes a LOT earlier than others'.

Whether you need to "worry" about it is a different question, as nothing is likely to happen that will endanger your kid at this age, even if you disapprove. He may grow out of it, or he may not - if he doesn't it'd be great if you talked to him about it within the next year or two and managed to bypass the years of alienation that most kids have as teens / young adults coming to terms with it (and letting their parents know!)

Answer 9

Well - don't feel so bad. when I was only 6 yrs old, my neighbors in the building had a grandson who visited occasionally. he was 5 yrs old and blond and cute. I had just turned 6 - and one day in the lobby we were alone and I pulled his shorts down and admired his bare buttocks. I fondled him. thank God no one saw us.

And i knew that I had this on my mind for such a long time. I wanted to do this from all my heart - and I did it . and sure I wanted to kiss him and hold him and love him. but I had to settle for a glimpse of his pretty backside.

so what U think about that.???

And of course, I continued and matured into a full-blown queer. come to think of it - I never did get around to trying girls at all. i tried with a massage parlor 5 times and I couldn't get hard. So I stuck with what I know best.

Answer 10

Maybe there is something else there. He has a curiosity about kissing boys, sure, but talk with him about it. Try not to be judgemental, but ask him why, and break it down into terms he can understand. Did he see it on TV? Does he want to be like mommy, because you show love for daddy? Did someone else kiss him like that? (Be careful here. Child molestation is common these days, but not everyone is a child molester.)

I wouldn't say your son is "gay", per se. Maybe he's just dealing with feelings and environmental input here he's not mature enough to understand. If you need help, you can email me. I'll be happy to council you on this. I used to do things like this with other girls, and I wish my parents had understood what was going on, and gotten me help.

Answer 11

I assume that many kids discover very early on that they are gay but it also may be a phase. My daughter had a friend at 6 who liked to try to kiss my daughter and that ended up being a phase.

Even if he is gay, what help do you need? It's not like you can cure it.