My boyfriend recently got married to the girl of his parents' choice cos otherwise the consequences wd have been bad and none of us wd have been happy. I understand his situation and wished him well and since both of us didn't want to break our friendship we decided to keep in touch. I made him promise that he'll ring me up if ever he needs to talk abt any of his probs. So till the day of his wedding we talked.
But from the next day I didn't feel like talking to him and cldn't bear the thought of hearing him talk abt his life with some1 else. So I keep my phone switched off most of the time and he's tried reaching me many times (missed call msg from the operator) but I am not yet ready to talk to him. What shd I do??? Shd I continue avoiding his call or tell him straight that I'm not ready to talk to him. This will hurt him very badly sort of like betrayal so I don't know what to do. Pls. experienced ppl I need ur advice!!!
2006-12-05 01:20:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My dear friend, it is evident that you genuinely care for your boyfriend. You are very understanding, and you also know that this decision between you and your friend was for the best. YOUR BOYFRIEND IS MARRIED this is a fact. In your jealousy and sorrow, you are not only worsening yourself but also your boyfriend-turned-husband. You should not say or do anything that will spoil the reation the couple share (if you do, then you are very mean) It is evident that he does not want to loose his close friend. Encourage your boyfriend to spend time with his wife and get to know her better. Tell him not to focus his attention only on his girlfriend-turned-friend, but to be a true and faitful husband. Avoiding talking to him will distract him from his normal life. Be brave- face him for once and, like any true friend, motivate him to be caring toward his wife. Assure him that you will always be there for him, as a friend as well as an advisor. You are his friend, this fact should not be concealed from anyone. If you think you are not ready, tell your friend that you will be in touch with him within so-and-so days. Don't switch off your mobile and avoid the call. You are making it evident that you are hurt by the marrige. He will feel bad about his decision of marrying this girl. Don't only assure him and give promises, but take the iniciative of calling him yourself and asking him about things. But make sure that you do not exceed your boundaries by calling so often that dear wifie gets suspicious. What you are going through is natural, but you need to get over it. Engage yourself in more activities and spend more time with family and friends. It is indirect way of telling Mr. Husband that you are still his friend, that you are not personally hurt by the marrige, that you respect his parents' decision and that you are moving on in life. He will be happy that you still respect him as well his marrige.
ALL THE BEST!!!!
2006-12-05 01:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to end it all, just have no contact with this person. Seeing his wife is bad idea and I am glad that you realise it also, so say good bye wish him and the family well, but cut it out no greeting at any Holiday no verbal written or visual contact of any kind.
Get busy with your routines, go for long walks to clear your mind, enjoy what you can, be wise for it. Write it of as good experience in your life while the rid lasted, cherish it if you want.
After few months or even a year try this site if needed and you are 25 years of age.
http://yahoo.shaadi.com/
2006-12-05 10:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know u basically have to end all contact with this guy. U can do this 2 ways either change ur telephone number and move on or arrange to meet up one last time and say goodbye properly. I would go for option 2 becoz at least u can have some closure. Its gonna be tough but u can do it. It may hurt him and u know its def gonna hurt u hunny but u will get thru it x
2006-12-05 09:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by brownpeepers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should just cut him off. It's rude, especially when coming from a friend. I would be honest and tell him how I felt. Yes, the truth hurts. But it's better for him to know how you feel, then to lead him into thinking you're okay with him moving on with his life. If you are hurt, then your entitled to your own feelings. With all due respect if you consider him a friend, I think you should at least tell him why you no longer want to continue the friendship anymore.
2006-12-05 09:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not ready to talk to him, then better tell him straight. Also he is newly married, if any problem he has after marriage its better for him to talk with his wife and they both must solve. You are not betraying him. Things didnt work out well with both of you. So better leave it at this stage and wish him good bye and find a good boy for you. I wish you a great life ahead.
2006-12-05 09:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by myself_keeru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple solution for a big matter like this!!!! just stop chatting to him.....meet him up one to one once and end this saga of so called 'after marriage love'...to be honest....if u are in touch for long wid him..ur feeling towrds him will grow and it will be hard in the future to forget him......u knw u're not going to be wid him no matter wat........he is MARRIED..so talking to him abt love or your PAST will be an absolute insult to the girl whom he married.....she might find out n consider this as an AFFAIR..best thing..talk to him one to one and be as clear as u can...just end this........
after all the girl he married has no fault in this problem...but if this goes on then she will be eventually hurt...so think of long term results.......life is beautiful( it may not seem at the moment for u), but u will find sumone better or like him..have faith...
take care
2006-12-05 09:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yaa u r right its better to avoid him now ...he is not yours..he has a life partner now..let him leave his life wd her...this is life dear...it happens...u will release ur tension as time will pass. time is the best medicine 4 every thing....take it easy u will get a good partner 4 u, u deserve the best dear...he ws not 4 u...try 2 forget him.....start new life... good luck.
2006-12-05 09:51:38 · answer #7 · answered by jagrati 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON WOMEN!!!! hes a married man leave him be! then u would be happier without him and maybe thats what God wanted and NOONE can mess up GODS plan ok
2006-12-05 10:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by kellydarcey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know that you're not comfortable talking to him...and you might need some space and time to get used to it...i suggest meeting his wife, but dont tell her tht u love him or anything...maybe you might see that shes really cool
2006-12-05 09:47:51 · answer #9 · answered by Heera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plz stop talking with him
or else it will happen something wrong.
eg:- might his wife will not except ur relation due to missunderstanding or something other will happen in there life & urz.................
2006-12-05 09:38:53 · answer #10 · answered by King 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋