Problems with my in laws....please advise me....?

Question

I', nearly 30 and have been married for nearly 4 years. Am blissfully happy with my hubby but have so many dramas with his parents and his sis (shes 5 years older and not married) we all live together. I have always tried to love his family as if they are my own, I know I wasn't perfect when I first got married but now I feel as if things are never going to improve. I get on fantastically with his dad but his mum and sis treat me so badly. I just want to be able to get on with them. The thing is I badly want kids but I'm scared that if I do they will treat my child badly because they hate me so much. I would appreciate some advice on how to improve my situation. There is no point in talking to them as I have tried that

Answer 1

You need to move out and get your own house. Problem solved!

Answer 2

I definitely think you and your husband should move out. That alone will improve things to such an extent, I can't even tell you. I couldn't imagine living with my inlaws, or any other family unit for that matter! Privacy is very important, and the easiest way to get under someone's skin is to live with them!
I don't mean to sound critical. I understand that people sometimes live this way because of finances. Hopefully, by now, you are financially secure enough to live on your own.
Just keep being nice to them. But once you have your own place and your own space, it will make a big difference!
And don't worry about the kids. All grandparents come to love their grandchildren. They will be your husband's as well and they can't overlook that!

Answer 3

Baji ji, i'm very sorry to listen for your marriage challenge. the most marriage are like that on and stale. i'm married for a million 3 hundred and sixty 5 days and four months hamdullallah so we consistently went like on and stale as I mean when we argument and different time we making a love. he's likewise my cousin. i don't understand what as a lot as your husband. i'm effective there must be something reason that he do not communicate with you. I also understand that your husband would not love you in that way. attempt to sit down with him and speaking with him very nicer way and ask him what difficulty challenge he have. Ask him a question as a lot you may. that you imagine it major you to ask. pay attention, it will be someone have positioned the black magic on your husband because it ensue load human beings have a topic over the moneys, the marriage, the living house, the courting, won't be able to have slightly one and etc. you want to make certain about it if he have or no longer. Inshallah Allah (SWT) will be fix your marriage paintings and provides you lots love between you and your husband, Ameen, Baji...

Answer 4

I've seen that a lot of people put get your own place. That is exactly what I was going to advise. Women are very territorial. Dad's okay with you, but the women in the house have the problem. You need to move out and get your own place. Also, you don't want to bring children in that home with the tension the way it is. Move out, get on your feet, then have children.

Answer 5

Ladies sometimes do not want to enter outside ladies in the house, because they consider you have taken over the earning member of the family to yourself and in your control, Your hubby is spending money on you which they do not like, KEEP secret whatever you shop with your hubby and always pretend, MY HUBBY IS NOTHING AND DO NOT CARE ABOUT ME, Consult your hubby before doing this DRAMA. DRAMA IS ANSWER FOR DRAMA> OK, live happily

Answer 6

I would say move out, if you can. Marriage is hard enough without them interferring. We live with my in-laws at the moment and things can get a little stressed, but we are fixing to buy a house. It might make things worse, but we have to try. I want to have my own family without them interferring and thank goodness my husband agrees. Good luck.

Answer 7

Time to move out! As long as you are in the family house, mom and sis will treat you like a second-class citizen. If he won't move, it shows you who his true loyalty is with and it won't change as long as you are under the same roof. Through my work experience, this is actually a pretty common problem.

Answer 8

First of all, you guys need to get your own place. Tell your husband how you feel and give him a choice to make. If worse comes to worse, you get the heck out of there, if he loves you he will follow. As for having kids, I would wait for awhile but dont put your desires and needs on hold for a bunch of people that could care less. It sounds to me like they are all jealous of you being in your husbands life. Have your husband tell them off.

Answer 9

You are convinced that there is no point talking to them? Since staying there and getting insulted or fighting with them daily aren't viable options, it is better to move out. Provided your husband agrees with you. However, I think that your fear about your child being mistreated by mom and sis in laws is placed. Your child would be cosidered their son's/brother's child and hence the apple of their eyes.

Answer 10

Maybe you need to cut the apron strings and move out. You stated you all live together, that allows for no privacy, no time for you and your husband to grow your marriage and relationship, and constant interference from your mother in law.