He has been separated 2 years and claims there is no chance for reconciallation but still goes to visit them at least weekly when wife and child are home. He never just takes the child out without the mother. Why would the wife even want to visit with him after he has left her? Could he have given her some expectation of reconciliation? He says he hasn't divorced her because of the financial impact yet I believe he has been very generous and I think she has got quite a nest egg of her own so I suspect this may be just an excuse. Is it wrong to continue this relationship?
2006-12-05 00:19:48 · 13 answers · asked by undecided 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do not date him unless he is divorced, and even then, be wary since he seems to be using the handicapped child as an excuse to socialize with his wife.
2006-12-05 00:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...you need to think long and hard here. He has a child that is handicapped. If everytime he goes out, he takes her too....well, just maybe he can't take care of the child alone. He needs her help. Have you asked how many people take care of the child daily? What kind of physical limitations does the child have? It may be that it takes both of them to handle him in public in case of an accident or some sort. Even though they are split and there is no way for reconciliation...they have to maintain a relationship for the child. In my eyes, he is doing correct in what is going on. As far as divorce...when their is a handicapped child..it gets sticky. The child may never ben able to go to a regular school. He would have to pay child support FOREVER because the child is not metally competent to support himself. Then there comes all those doctor bills that in some states...after you divorce, you can't carry your ex-spouse. If she is in a bind medically with this. That might be a consideration. Just because people divorce it doesn't mean that they are not friends anymore. I think that in a way, selfishness and a little jealousy has came up. It is ok to feel this way. It is normal. But, YOU need to be the bigger person. Maybe he hasn't gotten you involved or whatnot because of how you have reacted to this. Show him that you care and you have a heart. Ask him to meet the child and mom. If he is going to date you serious....he should have no problem. I hope this helps...Good luck
2006-12-05 01:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by T&E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, his child should be the least of your worries. If you truly have feelings or this person then you should not treat his child, handicap or not, badly. The child has not done anything to you. Second, if he says that they are separated and there is no chance of reconciliation then you need to tell him that if he wants to be with you he has to make it official that they are not getting back together. You are still committing adultery in the eyes of God (or whomever you believe in). Separation does not mean a thing in my book. Third, why are you knocking him for seeing his son. they are going to be a family always matters if you are there are not. Just because they are having a family day doe not mean that he is doing wrong.
Basically what i am saying is you need to realize that there are some men in the world that actually are men and take care of there families and you need to really think about what you want out of this relationship.
2006-12-05 00:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't focus so much on his situation or the reasons why he hasn't divorced. Don't try and figure out their relationship or the wife's motives. None of that matters. The bottom line is that he's married, period. He may be separated, but he's engaged in his wife's life and doesn't show any signs of changing.
Is it wrong to knowingly date a married man? Yes. He's a coward for cheating and you're naive if you think anything else will come of your relationship.
2006-12-05 01:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still married then stay away, you shouldn't date a guy who is still married to his wife. That is adultery what ever he says.
You should want more for yourself then want a married man and it doesn't matter what his excuses are if he wants you then he will have to cut off his marriage that is the proper thing to do and do it to at least to repect you.. No he wants both worlds. If his marriage is irreconcilable then most people would get a divorce regardless.
My advice is get a real relationship, someone who can be all yours - I feel you are the one going to get hurt in this not him or his wife. If he loved you why would he not want to get a divorce? you are being strung along.
2006-12-05 00:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are really dating his handicapped child. Admit it and the answer is there.
2006-12-05 01:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by TMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt continue unless he files for divore
2006-12-05 00:46:59 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to inherit this drama? No, you should not date or otherwise become involved with this man.
2006-12-05 00:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by buffybeast 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes....it is much too complicated and uncertain and you will never be #1 or totally happy....move on and find someone without all the complications and baggage
2006-12-05 00:28:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
u can until u set ur boundaries n do not offend her interests or be unjust 2 her by claiming all his resources
2006-12-05 00:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by Ansari 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋