Why do I have a habit of wanting to save people all the time? I'm all out of ideas, I fell for a older woman at work who had mental health problems (bipolar), divorced with 3 kids and debt problems! Surely this isn't healthy, but I can't figure out why I am drawn to these sorts of people do I enjoy drama?
Recently I went too far with my bipolar friend and was worried she would get hurt by this man she had been seeing who already had a girlfriend and been living with her for 3 years so I told him she had been sleeping around with me and others which she had so that he couldn't hurt her anymore and use her for sex. I also told people at work I was worried about her and worried for her 3 kids but the lady told me off for doing this, I only did all this because I cared for her and to make sure she was ok. She has since cut off contact with me and now I feel guilty
2006-12-04 23:34:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Yes, you were out of line for doing what you did no matter what your motivation was. Think about it, you lied about her in a very unflattering way. You should apologize and not "help" any more unless you're asked for your help.
For the future, maybe you should get some therapy to get over your need to save the world. You can only have a great relationship when both people are mentally and emotionally healthy. If one person is too needy, they will slowly suck the life out of you. You don't want that. Good Luck!
2006-12-04 23:41:08 · answer #1 · answered by Margo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you may be addicted to the drama. Saving people all the time only creates lots of turmoil and will get you in trouble over and over. If you REALLY enjoy helping people and want to be altruistic then find a cause, volunteer at something and really do some good. I'm sure there are many things in your area in need of help. No more drama, and you will feel a deeper sense of fufillment.
2006-12-04 23:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by Clrinsight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try to help her, but not in the way you did it. You are telling people she did thing's, that you should have kept to yourself.
Want to help people is good, but maybe you are not the right person to help her, you should advice her and try to talk to her, not other people you don't have any business with.
Maybe you should just try and have your own life and maybe date someone who does not have problems, because you don't know how to help the people you befriend or fall in love with.
And why she doesn't want to see you no more, is because you made an @ss out of her.
Good luck.
2006-12-04 23:49:37 · answer #3 · answered by DeeDee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest.. You didn't. Although you did it behind her back or suspiciously or whatever, you caring like that is pretty much fine. She might see this as overprotective though.. maybe, someday, she'll realize that you were doing it for her good
Don't feel guilty, you did what you thought[and what I think] is a good thing.
2006-12-04 23:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by Manuel Perez 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
not one person in this world can save everyone, no matter how much we would want to... you should have talked to her first and expressed your concerns before everything else... it's not proper to interfere in someone else's personal life, even if you think you should, especially without that person's consent... my advice is that you find some way to talk to her, calmly, and sort things out...
2006-12-05 00:18:16 · answer #5 · answered by get.real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she ask you to do that for her? If not, what made you think you have the right to interfere in her life like that? You overstepped the boundaries, I think, and that kills trust. You're basically saying to her 'you are unable to take care of yourself and too stupid to ask for help, so I will just take over without any regard for your wishes'.
2006-12-04 23:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by adeleb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think back to a time in your life where this 'self destructive' nature started taking over. It' very nice to want to help ppl, but know when to zip your lip and back out.
2006-12-04 23:39:27 · answer #7 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋