Why do I have a habit of wanting to save people all the time? I'm all out of ideas, I fell for a girl at school who I felt sorry for because her parents were having troubles and I fell for a older woman at work who had mental health problems (bipolar), divorced with 3 kids and debt problems! Surely this isn't healthy, but I can't figure out why I am drawn to these sorts of people do I enjoy drama?
2006-12-04 23:24:51 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It may come from an unconscious belief that you don't deserve someone on the same level as you are. It may come from patterns in your childhood; we attract what we are used to. It may come from a need to be needed, which breeds codependent relationships. Strengthen your selfworth and you wont attract needy women any more. You wont even look twice; which doesnt mean you'll lose compassion and understanding for them; you just wont consider them dating material.
The best thing anyone can do for someone needing rescuing is to empower them to rescue themselves You can point them in the right direction, but don't lead them by the hand to straighten out their life. It's something we all have to do for ourselves. Remind the person how they will feel knowing they got through their problems on their own steam, not depleting yours.
Good luck, these patterns are well ingrained and often not easy to change but you can!
2006-12-04 23:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by maggiemae821 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is a need to be wanted and helpful. It is not always a bad thing but the thing is you are falling for these people and maybe they are using you. It does not sound like you enjoy the drama it sounds like you care about these people. But just keep in mind that you maybe lacking something in your life that you need to be constantly helping others. Sit back and do a heart to heart and the answer will come to you. But helping people and then falling for them tends to make me believe that you are helping them in the hopes that they will like you. Time to kick yourself in the pants and look for a healthy relationship and not someone that is so needly. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-04 23:33:18 · answer #2 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it might be a subconcious desire to do so. Maybe you've always wanted to be saved, and you think that saving other people will guarantee you being saved by someone else/
[[Personally I don't know. I have a problem of some similar quality. I fall for women I can never have., Either they have an ongoing relationship or they don't want one. and I always end up hurt]]
2006-12-05 00:10:32 · answer #3 · answered by Manuel Perez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. I wonder about this too sometimes. I guess, maybe you're just naturally helpful. I sometimes think we love a person in THAT way because we need someone to complete us. Maybe you're the type of person who has so much potential to love, and since you're like this, the perosn who could complete you would be someone who truly needs it or has been longing for it or will definitely recieve it. And usually, the people who fall in that category are those who have problems.
^_^
2006-12-04 23:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by hannah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you feel sorry for them and you want to make them happy and it's not bad ...you want to save people because you are a kind person ..
2006-12-04 23:28:06 · answer #5 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound like to me you like doing good. and thats a good thing.
2006-12-04 23:29:19 · answer #6 · answered by sweet sweet me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋