I'm 17, i'm fit, i've got heaps of friends, a great family but i'm gay and i know i have to come out some time but i think my life won't be going so good if i do. what do I do?
2006-12-04 20:23:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm 17, i'm fit, i've got heaps of friends, a great family but i'm gay and i know i have to come out some time but i think my life won't be going so good if i do. what do I do? To answer AveGirl's question, yes I'm sure. I kissed my friend Jason a lasy year and I can't stop thinking about him and other guys too.
2006-12-04 20:54:06 · update #1
I meant last year
2006-12-04 20:55:30 · update #2
Josh, I'm a year older than you and I can understand what you are going through.
First before you "come out" (and I going to assume you mean let anyone in your family or friends know) you need to take inventory of yourself and whether this is the time to do it. You need to have what you want to tell people mapped out, you want to be prepared to counter ANY reaction they might have to this. I will attach a link at the bottom of this for more coming out ideas. Finally have your worse case scenario plan in place (you probably won't need this) just in case the reaction is extremely bad.
Once you decide to come out, you'll notice change in you and it isn't a bad change. You might experience a couple of rough patches, but over all it will be a positive change. You will be living your life honestly, you won't have to keep coming up with plausible stories that you will try to sell to others. It will be like a weight has been lifted off you, and that is liberating. Remember, you're 17 and in one year you will be an entirely different person than what you are now, regardless of what you do, change is par for the course for guys our age.
Living your life on your own terms is a great thing, and you will wonder how you kept the charade up in the past. But come out only when you are 100% ready to deal with it. Its a grown up thing to do, but we all have real life circumstances to deal with before we make the decision to let others know.
Coming out doesn't mean you lose your idenity, that you can no longer be the core person you always were before. You do not become the stereotype, you will be the same Josh but with one less piece of baggage.
Final thought. You've had 17 years to accept this part of yourself. Don't expect people to be unanimous in their support right off the bat. Give them time, show some paience for them if they are combative. It may not always seem like it, but those closest are reacting because they love and care for you.
There will be change but it will be for the better in the long run once you do come out.
http://www.outproud.org (this is a site for gay and lesbian teens)
http://www.sxetc.org (this site as you might imagine is about sex, both gay and straight but worth a visit)
http://www.pflag.org (is an org for family of gays, I see you are in Australia so there is probably an Oz version of this)
Good luck, buddy, things will be looking up, but on your clock not on anyone else's.
2006-12-05 01:41:59 · answer #1 · answered by imaginary friend 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I'm bi & I was afraid to come out for the longest of time because I feared people wouldn't accept me for who I am. For a mintue, I was right. But as time passed people who thought "gay" was wrong they learned that I wasn't no different from them, I just liked both sexes. I know you're worried, or afraid of the outcome, but don't worry about it. People will relize ou're a good person & that you're no different and nothing will change. Just come out and take a risk. Don't keep hiding your true self. Be who you are & even if people don't accept you, oh well. Be who you are. I hope this helps. Good Luck.
2006-12-05 04:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by hilary_duff_rox_05 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hows your life going now? I think it would be better if you came out.
You would be relieved that you did and im sure life for you will be just fine. Be positive.
Good Luck!!!
2006-12-05 04:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life will be good if you do..It just isn't easy at first to come out to everyone...later on it won't bother you at all....But if you are dependent on your parents etc...considering how you think they might act..it might be better for you to wait until after you are independent.
2006-12-05 04:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look for a PFLAG group near you or online. Good luck be strong.
2006-12-05 04:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by fed-up 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just come out, you are what you are.
2006-12-05 05:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by niohogr 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you sure you are gay?
2006-12-05 04:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋