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What were some of the warning signs that you were falling out of love with your spouse/SO? Did you try to rekindle it?

I'm ready to take that plunge. I'm 37 and ready to make that life long commitment. This divorce thing is scary these days.

2006-12-04 19:21:49 · 12 answers · asked by Belize69 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

12 answers

I know my marriage bottomed out for both of us when...

1. I watched my husband become a fraction of who he was during our courtship. He cared less about work and dipped in and out of dead end jobs and became bitter because he felt he was so much "better" than the people he work for / with.

2. Then we have the sloopy appearance and his having no concern about our home, social life, spiritual life, and responsibilities (bills especially).

2. I know my spouse lost interest in me when I "doubled up" on my work efforts to keep our head above water. I also still held household responsibilities so let's just say I wasn't always so jazzed up for "bumpin' boots in the bedroom".

3. My spouse did not lay claim to falling short in our marriage so the burden fell on me to at least try a few things. Evenings out were shere torture because all he wanted to do was to hurry up with the meal so he could get home to watch TV. Asking to do things we did during our courtship that seemed enjoyable were out of the question because he told me those things bored him and he just did them because he was trying to "catch" me... so why should he do them now when he already "had" me.

4. Lastly, I actually was able to get us into counseling... yet another nightmare... my hubby ended up having an affair with our counseling (charming lady, NOT). This discovery for me led me to taking actions of ending her career... and yes, ending the marriage.

I truly still believe in love and the bonds of marriage. I wish you the best and hope my saga of woe does not deter you but rather enlighten you... my advice "TRY A LOT OF TENDERNESS" to keep your marriage fresh and think of marriage as not a 50 / 50 proposition but as 100% from each of you. Keep in mind there may be times though that require a little more to help your spouse through something but when you provide that extra you will be valued all the more when she gets back on her feet.

2006-12-04 19:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by wonderful1 4 · 0 0

A reality of modern relationships is the knowledge that divorce statistics have been steadily escalating in recent years. Tips for avoiding divorce https://tr.im/oQQRX

Even now, all marriages have between a 40 and 50 percent chance of divorce, which increases for second and third marriages, which is why it's more important than ever to have the necessary skills to ensure your relationship is secure against the threat of divorce.

2016-04-21 09:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

I think the question should be what do you do to keep the romance and excitement going when the honeymoon is over.

1. Communicate, communicate, communicate (I can't stress this enough)
2. Be honest with yourself and with your mate
3. Continue to date (continue doing some of the things you did to get the girl to keep the girl)
4. Remember to have fun and don't sweat the small stuff
5. Be patient, understanding, and forgiving (everyone makes mistakes or a bad decision)
6. Be open-minded and willing to compromise.
7. Love her for who she is and don't try to change her or compare her to someone else.
8. Be willing to listen
9. Don't' be afraid to show your feelings and don't let pride get in the way
10. Love her, like you love yourself!

Good Luck!

2006-12-04 19:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jay 2 · 0 0

when you are so consumed with work college whatever it may be you are doing and you dont seen to have time for the each other. My friend was engaged to the love of her life for 5 years she was going through college and was doing things for her 8 year old and workin and her and her fiance began fighting a lot and then he just ended she is 32 years old so its not like it was some childish thing. As far as signs I guess when you begin to get annoyed at the things you used to find so adorable....... Or you ignore their phone call when they call, they become second to everyone else you know .......

2006-12-04 19:29:20 · answer #4 · answered by SunShineBabe 3 · 0 0

little things. like you don't mind if you don't have dinner together. you get irritated at the slightest comment he/she makes. you start to find disgusting the traits you used to think were cute.

don't worry too much, yes there maybe a lot of people getting divorced nowadays, but just look at an old couple still so much in love after 40 years of marriage and you'll know it's worth the shot to have a chance at that.

2006-12-04 19:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by Bubuchachum 6 · 0 0

yes, it is scary. and so is this notion of "Falling out of love". Its exactly this kind of thinking that makes our divorce rate ridiculous...marriage is hard work, and sometimes you might not feel like you love your spouse, but you work at it. you have to look at it as if divorce were not even an option. its until you die, no matter what, for better or worse.

2006-12-04 19:34:37 · answer #6 · answered by EllisFan 5 · 0 0

for some people,it starts with a small tingle on your outer epidermis,you start to get a sprint stress,your innovations starts your motor purposes to having you seem around,you sense a small p.c. of outrage,as you seem around your innovations soaks up the encircling enviroment,searching for some thing your sub-unsleeping feels strongly approximately,however the sensation gets over ridden with the aid of your better innovations of reason,except the warning indications are very stable,then our very ancestral trait of flight kicks in and you run......i could say the "feeling of warning" is embedded in our genes,considering interior the 1st years of our human existence we had to run from predators,over the years we grew to grow to be the predators and commenced suppressing the flight feeling on the comparable time we additionally further the combat experience.....for this reason combat or flight..........yet i'm basically guessing.........

2016-10-04 21:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

You are already thinking negative. You're not suppose to fall out of love with your spouse....just more in love.

2006-12-04 19:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0 0

I'd constantly make an effort to connect with her and do little thoughtful things every day and grand things on grand occasions...other than that be self aware of your feelings and others and it'll all be OK...if you both want it to.

2006-12-04 19:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you are falling out of love when: you don't want to go on bed with her, not in the mood for sex, if you think she's annoying all the time, if you think she's ugly and not sexy anymore...some things that are negative..specially, if you are looking for someone else to make you happy..

2006-12-04 19:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by Luisa 2 · 0 0

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