When I only knew my current boyfriend for 3 months he got me pregnant. I say 'HE' got me pregnant because he assured me he was careful and I told him I had just changed birth control methods. I know I know should've been using condoms anyway...but he pretty much guilted me into keeping our baby. She will be 2 next month and I love her dearly but I am extremely resentful towards my boyfriend. He literally jumps through hoops for me but I cannot get past the fact that my life as I knew it is over. I lost my dream job during my pregnancy, I've not been able to go back to school, I've given up the life that I enjoyed living the most and worst of all we're living togther which is against everything I've ever been taught morally. He wants to marry me but I just can't commit to him...I know I love him but I have so much resentment for him I'm not sure I (or he for that matter) can ever be happy with him.
2006-12-04 19:20:09 · 13 answers · asked by kristilkleer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you are pissed at him because of your actions???
That is so like a woman!
Talk to him, have him help arrange daycare ect so you can go back to work!
2006-12-04 19:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just reading your letter I feel the disappointment you feel. I believe in family, and mommies, but have you ever thought about giving soul custody of your baby to you bf? Or joint custody? Than you would be able to go on with your dreams. I normally would not recommend this to anyone, but your bf sounds devoted, and that is what your child needs. I am not too sure its just resentment you feel for him. If after 2 years you have not found your true heart with him, I truly foresee problems in the future.Is there a chance you could get your job back? These are just some thoughts. Of course your child is the most important issue, but I think you can figure out a way so you both are happy. Good luck!
2006-12-04 19:33:18 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about your resentment. If you keep it penned up inside you, then you will never allow yourself the chance to be happy. This will always be in the back of your mind. The fact that you got pregnant was a shared responsibility between the two of you. At least he's stuck by you and the baby and didn't just skip out like a lot of deadbeat guys.
Don't give up on the school or dreamjob. You can find a way to still make it happen.
2006-12-04 19:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by Tim M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes two to get pregnant, so start with owning that. Unless he raped you, you were a willing participant in the act that produced the child.
I think that would do you a world of good in getting over any resentment you have towards him.
Besides, if you keep putting the blame on him for the decisions you've made, pretty soon you will not be in control of any of your life, as you've passed the buck of responsibility to others.
Own your life and your decisions, and stop blaming others for what you've decided to do.
I think you resent yourself for what you've decided or been talked into, and you want to take it out on him because that is easier than facing the fact that you participated in these decisions.
Learn and grow from what you've experienced. You will be a much better and stronger person once you own your life.
2006-12-04 19:26:13 · answer #4 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Alright now, let's be truthful. HE did not get you pregnant on his own. YOU laid down with him too. If your child is such a burden and your child "ruined your life" as you say, then give her to someone who will accept her. There are plenty of good people out there who want nothing more than a child to take care of! I too had an unplanned pregnancy, and he is now 17 months. Granted, I did not get to do what I wanted to do with MY life, but at least I know that my son is now happy and that's all that matters. You gave up your right to be on your own when you laid down and spread your legs. Get over it and do what you can to allow your child to blossom!
2006-12-04 19:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by munkees81 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Job couldn't have been that good or you would have gotten maternity leave and you would still have it.
It is morally wrong for you to live with your boy friend but it would have been OK to abort the child?
Quit being a poor baby, grow up. You now have to think about what is right for child first.
2006-12-04 19:43:10 · answer #6 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a real tough question.
I think that you might never forgive him because in your deepest darkest smartest piece of your heart you think he did this totally on purpose. You think that he ruined your life because of what he wanted and not you. And guess what... you are probably right. But you ****** up too!
BUT. Yeah, you shouldn't marry him. you'd already get child support from him if you so chose to move out. Why don't you do that and take some time to think?
cereal.
2006-12-04 19:25:27 · answer #7 · answered by cruddypantz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound like the kind of person that is mature enough to own up to your own responsibility.
You have helped "ruin" your own life; and you sound like you are going to continue to look at it in a miserable way.
You probably will always hold negative feelings toward him.
And the lack of commitment is a sure sign of bad things to come.
2006-12-04 19:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by negrito con sabor 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It was your final decision to keep the baby or not. Why blame your life now on him? It's too late, get over it!!!! If you are not happy with your current situation, make it better by starting fresh. Good luck
2006-12-04 19:28:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
best way to deal with it is to go to counseling. you need to let out your feelings. dont think of it as you having lost your life, thats wrong. you gained the love and affection of a daughter you will have for the rest of your life. she will be your companion for years to come. dont waste your life resenting someone.
2006-12-04 19:24:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋