how do you deal with a moody/verbally abusive spouse who can't get counseling due to his job?

Question

Thank you all for answers. I appreciate all replies. Each made me think a lot.

Answer 1

Whether he can or will get help is not is important as you need to!

Answer 2

Thats a cop out hes giving you babe, there is no job I have ever heard of that would frown on Marriage counseling! Notice I specified marriage counseling..........is he this way in all things? Or is it just with you? I would try seeing if he see's it as a problem too, if he does and he just can't seem to get out of the habit perhaps he could try some hypotherapy to change the thought pattern that permits him to act that way. You could also try some self help books if hes willing...if hes not hun you are screwed.......tell him either he stops treating you that way or you are leaving......as a matter of fact, when he is moody, either leave and tell him to call you when hes feeling more social....or tell him to go find his own corner to sulk in. When he gets verbally abusive walk out......every single time, the minute he starts it just leave! If its effective, great, he will stop the behavior. If he isn't.....you might as well consult an attorney. It will only get worse.

Good luck!

Answer 3

He can't get counseling or he wont? That's not a very good excuse your making for him. If he doesn't get counseling maybe you should. Ask your self what kind of women stays with a man who is moody and verbally abusive?

Answer 4

Until you solve the "get to the doctor" issue, take a walk, leave the house a while, join a health club where you can work out and build some self esteem as it won't be coming from him.
Please don't rule out that it could be clinical as well. He should see a Doctor not just a counselor.
As far as work not allowing, we all have to make time in a busy world. Health, mental or physical comes first or he may not make it to work.
No doubt he does not think he is abusive so please be aware he may also become physically abusive so he must get help. In the mean time, keep yourself busy in a constructive way until he does.

Answer 5

Whatever crap excuse he gave you that he can't go because of his job is exactly that...CRAP. He obviously doesn't care enough to make an effort. Most abusers are that way. Let it go and it will turn physical evenutally, or you can tell him it's counseling or you leave, or you can just save the time and leave now.

Answer 6

there are no jobs that prohibit one from getting counseling on personal issues that dont involve moral turpitude, some military men believe to the contrary. That doesnt prevent you from seeking counseling on the same issues.

Answer 7

So he is using that old CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE OF MY JOB technique... That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard.. Conversations with medical doctors is privileged.. and he needs not tell anyone he is in session with mental health professionals. He's messing with your head instead of having someone mess with his..

Answer 8

You should try to kick his ***. After you wreck him; he'll have plenty of time to go to counseling because if you did it right; he'd be in a wheelchair for about 6-8 weeks.

cereal.

Answer 9

family matters,family first before job.if she's keeping the family together,let her have a choice of taking a leave for the counseling..if she doesn't exert much effort, she's so self-centered..

Answer 10

It sounds to me like you are the one having issues with his abuse, not him. So my suggestion would be to get counseling yourself. He won't want counseling unless(when and if...) he has issues with his own abuse towards you. Thru your own counseling you will learn how to not entertain his abuse which will put him in the position of either getting counseling himself or ridding himself of you in seek of someone else that will.

Answer 11

you are married to george w. bush? seriously, anyone can get counseling so that suggestion is bogus. he may have told you he can't go to counseling to control you more. hmmm, sounds like dubya.