ladies, serious question on married boyfriends?

Question

If you go with a married man, and are able to pull him away from his wife and marry him. why do you not think that some one else can"t do the same thing to him, after all you did. This just shows how weak or indeceisive he is.

Answer 1

If you haven't already stolen a married man, don't do it, it's a dangerous game where pretty much everybody loses. I don't have to walk you through the whole rigmarole of what it would do to his first family and not to mention your friends circle (esp married friends), and you're gonna be the bad guy every time his kids visit as you'll be seen as the catalyst for the end of their parents' marriage an effectively the end of their family life.However if you are thick -skinned and on the off chance you've already swept in for the kill notwithstanding all these difficulties that are pretty much inevitable in such a case, don't expect to be complacent, if he came to you despite the fact that he was married, looking for something more, there is a definite possibility that he will look elsewhere if and when the fire goes out of your relationship.I would just say be on your guard and don't discount it, as it is quite possible. As most shrinks can testify, repetition of past patterns of behaviour is certainly something that has been commonly seen. If you have already adjudged your married partner as being weak and indecisive, you may want to rethink your reasons for marrying him in the first place. You'll have to weigh the pros and cons to see whether the breakup of your partner's marriage was just a necessary sacrifice for your love or whether it is just another disaster waiting to happen with the joke on you, as you were the weak one in the game who fell for his tricks only to become his plaything until something better comes along. You know him best, you've got to inspect the foundations of your relationship (most importantly your part in it) and base your decision on the result of serious self-introspection.If you find a weak link you're at risk for a letdown.You should also decide whether you are ready to reach out and grab someone else's reject or find someone of your own who can be yours in every way, and guiltlessly.Think carefully as this is a choice that you intend to make and keep for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

I have wondered this many times as one of my close friends brings a new guy around and a month later she finds out that they are married and have a family at home and she still continues to mess with them and then doesnt understand why she can never trust them. HELLO THEY ARE MARRIED. If you are a female and think that you are some sort of special person to break up a family and think that he is actually going to be faithful to you in this situation you are either completely niave or just plain stupid. Once they have strayed I dont care how much they say they have changed give them a few months even a year and he will be off straying again. Some men think the more the merrier and then wonder in the long run why they dont have a true loving woman instead of a person that just sees the next month with them instead a true future.

Answer 3

This just shows too what kind of a person you are. If you were in the wife's shoes, how would you feel if a woman had an affair with your hubby?

Are you not good enough to get a whole fresh cake and not somebody else's crumbles?

Does it make you feel better that a married has dumped his wife for you? Do you think that makes you special?

Answer 4

this is easy ---- because women are very naive. They long for love in all the wrong places. They do not have the ability to be happy with who they are without a husband. instead of having someone who comp laments them they want someone who give them a sense of worth..

Answer 5

You got it but I don't think that's a question I think it's a statement maybe one that needs to be made but still a statement.

Answer 6

I asked my ex-wife this very question and got the dumb look.

How could they trust each other.

That's their punishment, they will forever wonder if the other is cheating on them.

Answer 7

As a young person, one seriously has to consider the choices made in life. There are activities a person may engage in at one point in their lives, which become the seeds forever planted. At the time of planting those seeds, they seem so right for the season and so soothing for the purpose. As time moves forward, one begins to reap the harvest of those long ago planted seeds. Whether that reaping is a time of rejoycing and celebration; or a time of crying and weeping, really depends on true nature of the planter.
I will use excerpts from my life as a reference . I met a man I fell deeply in love with. I was almost 30 years old, and for the first time in my life I was in love. The best thing about this love was that he also fell in love with me. He proposed. We married. We were married for four years. They weren't the easiest years for us. We were plagued by baby momma drama. He had 2 children from a previous relationship. I accepted and loved his kids, but their mother was another story. She kept using the children as amunition...by refusing to let him see them one day.....to dropping them off at the oddest times of night. She would call crying about how he was taking care of "some woman" when he is supposed to be taking care of his kids and her. He paid child support. She guilt tripped him and he let it consume him. He became withdrawn and distant. I wished she and I could have had an amicable relationship. She wanted nothing to do with me. She just wanted my husband. The stress of her constant interfering took its toll on me. Reluctantly, I left my husband. I felt he could have had better control over the situation. We later divorced. Three years later, I became pregnant and married the father. It was one of those seeds I felt I had to reap. A year after I married, I heard my ex had married his children's mother. It hurt me deeply, but I continued to move forward establishing a home life with my new husband. One year into my new marriage, my new husband became violent. The verbal abuse began soon after the "I do's". The physical abuse started after I announced we were expecting again. Soon after the birth of the baby, I had to leave and check myself and my two babies into a domestic violence shelter. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. To make this long story shorter...When things settled down, my kids and I moved in with my father. My ex-husband found out I was there and he called looking for me. He had been unhappy from "I do". To get away from his new bride, he volunteered for a year and a half job assignment overseas. When he arrived home, he came to see me with a lot of questions like: Why did I give up on us? Why didn't I come looking for him? If I loved him when we divorced? We were still very much in love with one another. There was no denying that. Our divorce was not bitter. We just parted ways peacefully. I was sick of feeling like I was in competition with some other woman...and he was not very good at being caught in the middle. Well, with age comes wisdom....and we both learned a very, valuable lesson. Lust is everywhere, but true love is so hard to find. If you have that, realize how special and wonderful that is. Unity and being on one accord is important in any relationship. Well, she captured my husband for a time; but his heart was then, and will forever be mine. He is no longer her husband today, but mine. We had been seeing each other for over a year after their divorce before she found out who was his "new girlfriend". Imagine the bullet she had to swallow when we dropped off the kids and she found out it was me. Our marriage is better and stronger because of what happened. I don't know whether I should thank her or not. Everyday I wake up to him I feel sixteen.
I do not advocate cheating. The situation was what it was, but we never cheated (physically) while married to our other spouses. The emotional closeness and support was far more than sex could have been at that time. I divorced soon after I left my second husband. He divorced 6 months later. Believe me, there was a lot of adjusting that had to be made for everyone involved. I feel that a marriage is a sacred union. I don't think people actually listen to the words being said during the ceremony. They go through a song and dance--for the people. Marriage is serious business. I agree with the author of this question. He was weak, then. So was I, but the thought of living without one another again gave both our backbones much needed adjustments. We've never walked so tall. If this helps just one person, it would be well worth the time.

Answer 8

Been there, done that. I wasted seven years of my life that I will never get back.

When it finally ended, he went back to his wife!

I am a little older and wiser now, and Karma has paid me back for that one!

Answer 9

I would not do a married man either, or any man for that matter!

Answer 10

I would hope any woman who did that would be smart enough to never marry the guy.