yrs, i have 1 yr old baby, till 2 yrs everything was ok.now always me & my husband figth ,, now everyday ...i feel as if he is ignoring me, i love him a lot.., by nature i am romantic but he is opposite to me, now a days i get fraustrated , i am working , dailly i feel as if today we will be happy, but end of the day same thing i guess it happens coz of me, i dont have patience now a days...i want him to talk to me but he says he is also fed up with my daiily attitude...i dont understand how to make things better, i just want him to spend some time with me , i love him , so i want him to do the same. may be my way is wrong, pls help to , tell me how to be happy & make my husband happy..
2006-12-04 17:39:33 · 24 answers · asked by sonu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You & your husband need a break . Go for a vaccation away from home & work for few days just you & he , definately things will be normal again for both of you.
2006-12-04 18:59:58 · answer #1 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Couple start taking each other for granted when they reach that stage or they are in that comfort zone where they start feeling that even if something is not done by them the other will automatically take care of the same. They become lazy cause they know that the other person is always there to take care of things. And that is exactly why you both have started drifting from each other and have started shouldering responsibilities on each other thinking that you the other one will do it.
The best way to overcome this kind of frustration is that the partner must sit and have a long talk. You have to sit and talk with him tell him that the marrige cycle runs on 2 tyers it stops when one does not give in imput.
I am sure he will understand. Then futher small things that the partners can do for each other are they should thank each other when they do something for you. Surprise them on and off with gifts or just cooking up a great meal. Making your spouse feel special and loved. and Last but not the least, there is no single recipe for marital success.
Novelist John Berger once said, "All weddings are similar, but all marriages are different." Every couple must find their own formula. So Go on and make your own!
So Good Luck and God Bless
2006-12-04 19:43:01 · answer #2 · answered by Blueberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take a deep breath and look within yourself. So, things were okay while you two were still newlyweds. That's usually the case. Married couples are usually more affectionate in the beginning because there is still such an emotional rush from being with each other. As more time goes by, the passion is replaced with comfort and security. Unfortunately, with the comfort and security we sometimes feel we're being ignored.
It sounds to me like you may have a touch of depression. I'm not a doctor, and I may be wrong, but it could be something you should look in to. Ask your doctor about it because if your husband's problem is your daily attitude, and you can't do anything about it, then it's not your fault. You just need some help.
In the meantime, try and reconnect with your husband. Get a sitter for your child, and go out just the two of you. Try and get that spark ignited again. Try and remind each other how things felt in the beginning.
2006-12-04 17:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In truth there are times when people start to grow apart. Not saying that this is the problem in your case, but it is a possibility. There may be things that you both enjoyed before, but now one person doesn't feel the same anymore.
Do you feel like things changed when you had your child? Some people don't handle the stress of parenthood along with the responsibilities of marriage and work well. Try asking your husband what it is that is bothering him. If he is defensive and argumentative you may want to seek counseling...the problem may not be you, but something deeper.
People change for different reasons, so open your eyes to view any visible changes in his attitude, his dress, his daily routine. Open your ears and truly listen to what he is complaining about and do what you can to address the issues.
Make an effort to communicate with your husband, but don't be pushy, be patient, and allow him to express himself the best way he knows how. You can't make anybody happy, you can only enhance or add to the happiness that person already feels.
I wish you the best!!!
2006-12-04 18:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save up some money and plan for a holiday outing. Since you have a 1 yr baby, you are not in a position to give enough time to your husband. There might be a sense of neglect in him. He might feel that he is being neglected because you are with the baby most of the time. Plan your schedules. Let the baby sleep early and your give time (romantic) to your husband. Create a proper mood for romance like, a cosy dinner, mild scent in the bedroom, soothing music etc. Get your BP checked, and if you are suffering hypertension, get medication. Be cool in your moods. Your husband will surely notice these things and he will surely get into your mood. You said you were working. Let not your office talk spoil the mood of your husband. Its the usual thing. Office talk is the mood spoiler. Dress in sexy lingerie after your dinner, if there are no other family members in your house. Make yourself attractive. Try to buy small gifts for your husband. Even a five star cadbury will do the trick. Try all these and see the difference. Above all, be positive in your outlook. Things will change automatically. Good luck.
2006-12-04 17:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by sunilbernard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to talk to each other more. Take some time at the end of the day just to sit together and unwind and talk. He can't understand how you feel if you don't tell him, just like you can't understand how he feels. He says you have an attitude, you say he doesn't spend time with you and pay attention to you. Get him to explain what you do that gives him that impression, and explain to him what you feel he does. Find out what you can each do to try to change. You have to go into it in an open-minded way and be willing to work together to change things.
2006-12-04 17:47:35 · answer #6 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I know how you feel i am having the same problem with my fiance We have this probem where he hasnt been communicating with me for a while and i have just been building up frustration even when i am nice to talk to him he doesnt want to talk about the problems. I find that the more you get shitty the more he draws away woman have to learn to be patient its very hard because we loose hope very easily. My advice would be to talk to him nice about it when hes in a good mood and tell him everything you feel with out trying to cause an argument. Good luck hunny :)
2006-12-04 18:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by Nat555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write down all the good things and all the bad things. Then write your husband a letter telling him how you feel but do not attack him in the letter. Blaming yourself is silly, it takes two to argue. Maybe you and your husband need councilling. Relationships Australia is a good place to start. They charge depending on what you earn, if that is too expensive you can write them a letter and they will reduce the fees if they think that is whats needed.
Good luck
P.S don't even listen to the comment before mine he is being silly...
2006-12-04 17:48:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your hubby need to have a heart to heart talk!!!! And soon. Tell him to sit and listen to you, and make sure you tell him what is bothering you, and then let him respond, but let him get everything out too. If he is any kind of man he will respect you and listen to you. If that doesnt work and your not happy and he's not happy, I feel that your marriage won't last long. Good luck and I wish you too the best. And please if you get into it with each other, remember the baby is there!! That child doesnt need to see mommy and daddy fighting.
2006-12-04 17:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by Msranda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly suggest that you read the book "The Five Love Languages" from Dr. Gary Chapman, I don't recommend it a lot, as I don't feel it fixes all problems like he seems to suggest, but here it looks like you could really use it, him too. :) It seems like he wants you to talk nicely to him, do you thank him for things he does? Even if it's his job to? Do you compliment him, say things that make him feel good? I'm guessing this is what he needs. For you, you want quality time, spent talking, sharing, even just being together doing something you both enjoy. Trust me, this book will help you. :) Best wishes for you both!
2006-12-04 17:46:36 · answer #10 · answered by Kendra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Shlessinger . It may open your eyes to things you are doing that are so irritating to guys, and also show you things you can do to make his life easier & happier. That will in turn have him making your life happier too. You've got nothing to loose by giving it a shot
You don't even have to buy it - borrow it from your local library!
2006-12-04 17:50:41 · answer #11 · answered by I saw whatudid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋