This woman thought she was happy, then husband had a relapse into alcaholism, so she was no longer as happy as she thought ,but then out of the blue while talking to a gay friend of hers, discovered she had deep feelings for her.
How can this be when the woman has always been heterosexual. Now suddenly she want to make love to her lady friend. This woman is 50yrs. Is she just reacting rebeliously to her husband, who by the way she is staying with and helping to get him back to AA and to counciling, or are these genuine feelings she's having?
Is it posible to love two people one from each gender?
Please help me understand this. thank you.
2006-12-04 17:36:58 · 13 answers · asked by colswogal1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was married to an alcoholic for over 2 decades. The worst kind--he would quit for months and months and each time I would think "finally he has quit for good" then BAM! the checking account would be wiped out and charge cards maxed out.
I raised the kids, held everything together, borrowed money when he blew it all, and made sure it all got paid back. I made all the decisions, took care of all the problems with the house and kids (and rental properties--groan).
I always said I could see how a woman would want a female partner. I can't quite understand the sex aspect of it--but from every other standpoint, it would have been heaven. Someone that would throw in a load of laundry, have a meal ready for me just once, ran the vacuum, balanced the checkbook, pick the kids up from school when they are sick, and appreciate that I did all this and more and still held down a full time job (that by the way,I made more than the husband). I can understand how she wants to be taken care of--or at least in an equitable relationship. Let her do what she wants. Maybe her friend makes her feel like she is worth something...after all, she has been with a man that made her feel like a doormat.
2006-12-04 17:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the women was fooling her self she was NEVER HAPPY and She was NEVER HETEROSEXUAL.
These changes just don't happen over night, because of a husbands relapse.
I think she's reacting to, too much of society. The grass is not really greener on the other side folks, even if it looks that good on the big screen. She hoping and wishing not to have to deal with the negative in her life she wants a quick fix I bet.
2006-12-04 19:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think people get tempted to do all kinds of interesting things when they feel totally insecure and unloved by their man. Marriage was designed to be so much more than what she's got and so much more than she'll ever get from another woman. This is very sad. I mean I have friends who are girls but I have someone in my life who fills the gaps my husband can't so - I would never feel that way about my girlfriends. But, if you don't have that kind of million dollar love behind your marriage - I don't know what I would do - it would be easy to start feeling this way about anyone who would give you attention.
2006-12-04 17:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The very first sentence says it all...She THOUGHT she was happy. She bought into the myth that if you have a man you are happy, when, in reality she wasn't happy at all. She hasn't always been hetro, again that is just what she THOUGHT she was and that is what she led other's to beleive. Frankly I don't think she loves anyone becuase quite obviously she doesn't love herself (otherwise she wouldn't keep going back to a marriage that keeps failing),and the only way you can truly love someone else is by loving yourself.
2006-12-04 17:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been suppressing those feelings fairly successfully, and now they surfaced. Why wouldn't it be possible to love two people, different sexes or not? Because the Bible says we should be monogamous, in spite of all the natural evidence? Try it and see how you feel and follow your heart. Staying with a guy who won't fight for himslef is a waste of time.
2006-12-04 17:40:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This happens all the time to both married men and women. They will be married for 20 or 30 years, have families, and then disclose they have been gay the entire time. Or how about the ones who have sex changes after being married for a number of years. I am not saying that is the right thing to do, after all she is married.
2006-12-04 17:39:24 · answer #6 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yeah it could be thats what bisexual means. either that or shes gay and has always been gay but was never in touch with it enough to know that. but then again the possibility always stands that maybe shes just close to her friend and knowing shes gay is toying with the idea. she needs to work that out. does she love her husband or can she see herself spending the rest of her life with her gay friend??
think about it.
2006-12-04 17:41:19 · answer #7 · answered by NeonaStarr 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you "this woman" by any chance. If you like the lady friend go for it. There no harm in it. If your husband finds out offer for him to join in.
2006-12-04 17:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
This woman must see that love is blind and does not see her friend's gender :D
2006-12-04 17:40:02 · answer #9 · answered by *Chinisu* 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it doesn't matter if it is man or woman, she just needs someone to love because she is not getting the love she needs.
2006-12-04 17:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋