Why do people make rude comments?

Question

So, I am a 5'9" female. I've always been tall and thin and about a year ago I lost about 20 lbs and was down to 113 for my height. I was always told "wow you are so thin!" "do you eat?" "you are a twig" etc. Well I had problems with my period cycle and was told to gain weight, and also had my parents and family and friends on my back about gaining weight. SO, I gained some weight back and now weigh between 125-130. I feel bigger now, and people will still comment on how thin I am, but every once in a while a guy co-worker will joke around for example the other day I said I needed to get something and a guy I work with said "get your fat butt up there!" Well that HURT! Really bad! I got upset and he goes "YOU KNOW you aren't fat, very far from it!" but people do not understand how one comment can hurt someone's self-esteem that much more. SO, my question is, why do people feel the need to comment on others weight to them?

Overweight or not...people do not need to comment on someone's weight, it is just plain rude. Can they think of anything else to talk about besides someone's appearance?

Answer 1

cause they feel horrible about their own weight

Answer 2

If I were you I wouldn't listen to them or let it bother me. I'm 37 years old 5"5 and when I was in High School I used to get upset because of the same thing. You had girls say things to you about how skinny you are, they don't think it bothers you but it's the same as walking up to a fat person and saying WOW you are so fat, do you think you can get any fatter? The wind sure won't blow you away. It's the same after awhile for skinny person. If I noticed through life that I was gainning quickly and I'd try to slim down, people would be like OMG like you need to lose weight. So they make you feel bad to diet. Then I got close to a size 10 at about 26 years old and I told myself I'd diet again and NEVER go over a size 10. now I'm 37 and I weigh 175 it's almost like people are happy I'm having problems getting it off now. If you are skinny and you eat regularly don't even listen to them, I've found out between the ages of 13-37 that the ones that are jealous because they are overweight are the ones that say these things that make you feel bad. Just keep up what you are doing as long as you EAT RIGHT that is. I would never try to gain on purpose.

That would be wonderful if people would stop making the comments big or little.... tall or short.

Answer 3

I so TOTALLY agree with you. I've been too thin and too fat, and now am somewhere in between. I have a friend who no matter what she eats, she can't gain weight and she is way too skinny for her height and build and people tell her all the time she looks anorexic, but she's not - she eats more than I do! It's just her metabolism.

The other day, (I'm a freelance writer) I was reading an article on a site I write for that another lady wrote title: Fat People Are Destroying America!

Sadly, I think she might actually believe this!

Social stigma... I don't get it either.

If you're interested in reading my rebuttal to her nasty article about fat people, you can click the link below. If you do read it, let me know what you think. Thanks!

Answer 4

Well you are just taking it the wrong way.

Fat butt is just a saying, and you can be sure that if they thought you were actually fat they would NOT be saying that to you.

If it bothers you, TELL THEM. That's all you can do.
You really need to change the way you look at people's comments and not take them to heart. If you know you are okay you shouldn't give any random person the power to change your mood or self esteem with flippant comments.

Being thin these days is rare so people will be more likely to comment on it and assume foul play (eating disorders etc)
As before, you shouldn't care and if it bothers you there is absolutely nothing you can do besides telling them to shut up and mind their own business.

You said it yourself, they were JOKING. :)
They would probably only do that if they thought you were secure enough to take comments like that in the jokey way that was intended. So they won't even be realising that it's bothering you.

Answer 5

Do you know I've had people make comments to me on the other spectrum? I am heavy I once lost a lot of weight except I had a little ponch. This drunk spoke out loud at a club where I was on a first date with my boyfriend. He said " You would be really good looking if you lost that spare tire!" He said it very loudly in front of everyone. When I just stared at him he then retorted. " What? Do you think it's flat?" A friend of mine replies when someone comments on his belly, " You know after the operation I kind of wound up like this." It immediately sends the insulter into shock saying " Oh I'm so sorry." Try that one and see how it works. People are just so rude and they seem to know what buttons to push. If the buttons weren't out there to push then you wouldn't be bothered by it.

Answer 6

Some people just really don't think about the things they say to people. People talk about me ALL of the time, you just have to learn how to brush it off. With me, you can say anything you want, I don't wish to sit around and try an figure out why you're an asshole, so I move on. If you touch me though, I will fu** u up!!! Moral of the story--there are so many opinionated people in this world and everybody is going to have their own opinion of you. Some people will think you're fat, some people will see you as thin, if you listen to others it all becomes too confusing. Until people learn not to be so shallow and inconsiderate, you'll have to adjust and wear a coat of armor. Just brush it off.

Answer 7

I think men do it without knowing how sensitive women are. I remember telling a girl that she was good looking and that she had a booty. Now she was a white girl so she took big time offense to it, and the more I tried to explain that what I had said was a complement, I dug myself more into a hole.
Maybe the guy who made that comment likes your butt, I know I like bigger butts, not to say yours is, but maybe he was thinking in another perspective and you took it harder because of your recent experiences with your weight going up and down from all the pressure of people around you.

Answer 8

Thats a good question.. A lot of times people use terms like "get ur fat butt" as just somthng to say. Not really meaning u r fat... Like we use the term "dumb a55." Some people say tings like that cause they dont like u and want to hurt u by saying things what they know will hurt...

Answer 9

Well, some people are not very self-confident deep down inside so they try to put down other people to make themselves feel better.

But it sounds like in YOUR case this guy was just trying to get you to smile/laugh by being sarcastic. The only one in charge of your self-esteem is you, so make the decision you are going to lighten up and NOT let what other people say bother you!

Answer 10

I think people are stupid with their comments to others. They like to belittle them, to make them feel greater than you. Rude people like to make other people that don't fit in their mode of looks. Like they are a loser. My brother was a good one. He was critical to everyone about there weight. Than one day he got fat himself. And can't get the weight off. So what goes around, comes around, I truly believe this. So hang in there. If women say bad things they are just jelouse of you. And sometimes I think men like your co-worker just want to joke and be funny. But it sounds like he knew he hurt your feelings. I think you sound beautiful. Wish it was me.

Answer 11

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