I have been living with my boyfriend for about 1 1/2 years and dated about a year before that. He is a great parent and an awesome boyfriend. We share financial responsabilities in our house hold. Recently I asked about marriage. He told me that he did not feel he was ready for marriage. I think some of it has to do with the fact that I am 28 years old and he is only 23. This would concern me if he was not as involved in our family as he is. He thinks that before we marry we should buy a house. I don't know if what is bothering me is not having the "wife" title and that's all. I mean he treats me like his wife, treats my children like they were both of ours and is more responible that any guy his age I know. Am I just not being patient enough, or should I persue the issue more?
2006-12-04 17:07:57 · 6 answers · asked by jessbeth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some people are afraid that once they are married, their relationship won't be as great as it was before.
It might be in your best interest just ask him what he isn't ready for.
But also you don't want to push the issue to much, you may push him away. Some people are just frightened by the word "marriage" , give him the benefit of the doubt.
I hope it all works out.
2006-12-04 17:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by Barb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be a good guy. He's just young and scared of the "m" word. He will come around if he really loves you. My first husband was 5 yrs older than me and we married because I was pregnant. It lasted for 20 yrs until he passed away. My second husband is 13 yrs younger than me and he said he was never going to get married. After dating for a year and a half we got married. My kids are grown with families of their own so we don't have the parenting issue unless my grown sons are arguing, then they'll come to him for a referee. He is 26, I am 39.
2006-12-05 01:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he REALLY loved you and wanted to share his life with you, he shouldn't even hesitate about marriage. He might think that once you two are married, everything will change, and I hate to tell you but some think that so much that things DO change. He probably just wants to keep things the way they are because he's afraid of that. Women are more mature than men and he's yound to begin with. Give it time. Hopefully he'll come around.
2006-12-05 01:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it would be better if he defined what he is not ready for. Is it the permanent status? I would gently ask him and not push too hard.
My husband made me wait eight years to get engaged. We broke up a bunch of times while I was sick of waiting. In the end, I took him for one counseling session, the counselor helped him to define what what holding him back, and we got engaged. We have now been married for 3 years and it has been wonderful.
2006-12-05 01:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. I think he is doing just fine and he will keep on going in this direction. But he is 23 and for him it is shocking. He mentioned to buy a house, that's very good, because both of you need to have plans for your future.
Go ahead and never forget to talk to each other.
And keep your mind open.
Good luck
2006-12-05 01:17:55 · answer #5 · answered by Weltbürger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one. i dunno.
2006-12-05 01:13:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋