I need help with a porn addiction?

Question

I'm not religious and not trying to stop for any religious reason at all.
I do feel like it screws me up spiritually though.
ok well it's been a part of my life since I was very young. It's part of the reason my girlfriend left me a year ago.
I made a commitment to live a more meaningful life and stop looking at it, because I do feel a lot of the girls are being exploited and/or just have totally screwed up lives and I'm condoning the sad situation by induldging.
Here's the thing, I'm sometimes torn. Like right now... I was just about to indulge and I stop myself to write this.
At times like this I tell myself- well maybe it does have a place sometimes. I'm really lonely, my life is really tough, and it does give me a release and an escape. Any insight is appreciated!

Answer 1

You've made the first step: You told someone -- the people in the LGBT section. And sometimes straight people do come in here for sexual advice.

If possible, I would suggest you talk this over with a therapist. And get right to the point. You are doing something that is deeply ingrained and you cannot stop on your own.

One thing that I would suggest you do on your own is ask yourself why this started in the first place. Did you actually get a sexual thrill out of it or were you just curious about others bodies and were comparing them to yourself? Then has your motivations for looking at the stuff changed over time?

Your last few sentences gives me a clue about all of this: There may be non-sexual reasons you began and continue to look at pornography for a "fix." It might have started out as a stress reducer and eventually turned into a habit you could not get away from.

One thing to remember too: You are not alone. Many, many men have this addiction -- and often it started in adolescence looking at pornography with a friend. All very innocent adolescent-type behavior. Then you started to indulge on your own, started to spend the money, and it got out of control. But you live this life in secret from even your closest friends.

Aside from therapy, you might also see if you can cut down on the number of times you look at the stuff; destroy all pornographic films and magazines in the house, immediately, actively think of things you might do when the urge to partake comes upon you, avoid adult bookstores at all costs, and even take up a new hobby, even walking or some other form of exercise to slowly replace this habit that is essentially going against your core values. Good luck. I have prayed for you.

Answer 2

As a past addict, I must say that therapy and talking about it really helps, even though it is embarrassing and painful. It took me 9 years; I understand the loneliness and inner turmoil. You need to go inward and find a spiritual spot, locate your reasoning as to why it happened at that time. Redirecting that energy someplace else is to your benefit. I still have urges but I maintain them by reading and developing a better understanding of who I am. It's one of the hardest things to conquer because the illusion is temporary and after that time frame, you feel worse and nothing will ever complete you. You made the first step to progress when you sent this message out, so you know you are seeking assistance, If you are uncomfortable talking to someone, there - if it is still there- a site where anonymous sexual addiction is discussed. You're worth it to keep a healthy balance- an alternative would be creation, use your hands ( I'm sorry for the pun ) for something else; pottery, painting, writing would be an excellent way to self discovery too- keep a journal on how you feel. I hope some of this helps. Keep your chin up and reach for the stars. I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

Something becomes an addiction when you cannot stop indulging yourself despite evident impairment in social or occupational functioning.

Porn does have a place sometimes. You shouldn't judge yourself harshly for your interest in seeing something sexually stimulating. We're biological beings, full of all kinds of juices and urges, but somewhere in our development we began to consider our own fleshly urges as dirty and disgusting. A pity, really.

Also, the argument that some people are exploited in porn doesn't really seem a compelling reason to stop watching it, since the very idea of capitalism requires that someone gains through the loss of another. Someone always gets screwed - usually figuratively, but sometimes literally.

Besides, surely *some* porn stars enjoy what they do for a living. What wrong is there in voyeurism toward an exhibitionist?

I think your guilt is misplaced. (Are you sure religion isn't sneaking around in your head somewhere?)

HOWEVER, the fact that your zeal for porn helped to cost you a relationship should rightly concern you. Perhaps your ex-girlfriend was merely uptight about it, or perhaps you really do have a problem. Did you try to stop, but fail? If you cannot moderate your use of porn despite the potential costs, perhaps you do need help.

Best of luck.

Answer 4

How to avoid porn addiction on the Internet

1. Consider installing porn content filtering software( Strongly Recommend NetDog ,you

can get it from www.netdogsoft.com ) on your computer. it will help to protect you

from stumbling into pornography by accident, That's important.

2. Do not try to guess what the address of a Web page is. Many pornographic sites have

similar addresses of respectable sites. For example www . whitehouse . com is a porn

site. The real address is www. whitehouse . gov

3. Never click on Web site addresses that you receive in an unsolicited email.

4. Do not open attachments that come in email that are unsolicited.

5. Use filtered search engines or reputable directories to find the information you

need.

6. Do not search for terms like girls. Think before you enter a search term.


Stick with reputable sites.
If something looks questionable, don't let curiosity get the best of you. Delete it or

close the window.

Internet Porn Filter Resource:
http://www.netdogsoft.com

Answer 5

i'm no longer gay, nor am I hooked on porn. even if, i don't sense that there is one of those opt to be contained in the closet anymore. i'd be slightly naive, yet that is how i think. I absolutely have many associates that are gay and they don't conceal it. under no circumstances once have I seen them dealt with in a distinct way because of there sexual determination... so a procedures because the habit is going, i imagine all people might want to change into addicted. sex is relaxing and a range of of persons won't be able to imagine about a lot else... i imagine it will be really undemanding for human beings to change into addicted. in the experience that your major different has a topic large adequate that makes his/her bypass over out on issues in existence because he/she might want to quite be searching at porn then they do have a significant challenge and opt to seek for suggestion from with someone about that..... reliable luck.

Answer 6

One word: therapy. Not trying to be condescending, but therapy and support groups (yes, there are support groups for situations such as your own) can be the best thing in the world when trying to break an addiction. Also, look at putting an adult filter on your computer and inputting a random password (just hit keys without looking) so you can't turn it off when you feel the urge. Best of luck to you ;-)

Answer 7

If you are not joking about a serious problem link up to any sites that help with sexual addictions because that's what it is. It really sounds like a phony cry for help to me though since you could have found numerous sites in the time it took for you to post this question. For the sake of those who would seriously look here for this information here's some links:http://www.sarr.org/
http://www.sexaddict.com/
http://www.no-porn.com/
http://www.porn-free.org/

Answer 8

Dan (did you realize what section you posted this in?).

You are not alone. THere are a lot of people who face this addiction, including a lot of religious people.

And you are right to be concerned. If it is stopping you from a regular enjoyment of life, you need to find help.

I wonder if there are online discussion groups for people who are caught in this trap.

I know that you say you are not religious, but you are affected spiritually. YOu might want to check out this website: xxxchurch.com. It is a group of people who are trying to overcome sexual internet addictions.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Treat it like an addiction. I'm sure there's a 12 step program for people who have let their addiction to porn disrupt a normal life. Dude, your girlfriend left you... You life is "unmanageable" ! The first step is admitting you have a problem. Now go do something about it! You are at a critical moment. You are weighing things out. Please decide to help yourself!

Answer 10

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Pornography can destroy lives and relationships, as you have already learned. Please get out now. You're worth it.
Find a trusted psychologist or other counselor and start working on your pornography addiction right away.
It is filth and you should avoid it like the plague. Don't rationalize by telling yourself that "it's not that bad". It's terrible. Please give it up.