hi,thanks to all who answered my previous question regardingthe same problem. I am in touch with a guy, (long distance) and i really like him. weve met once. been in touch for 6 mnth.whenever i ask him to seriously think about us, he says that 'you cant imagine how stuck i am with things these days. why dont u trust me, i am in touch with you.' he insists that lets be freinds and see how it goes. he also keeps using the words 'if we are sure of things' meaning if things turn toward marriage etc, we will do this, do that blah blah. It seems to me that im always thinking about him and texting him and he texts me back on his free will or whenever hes free. Earlier when we first got in touch , he wud text me back asap, and wanted to talk to me. Oh Lord, this is killing me. I am just hoping , praying that i get to spend the rest of my life wiht him. i am willing to leave my country, and live in london with him. But how can i get him to commit. tell me a way to creep in firmly but gently.
2006-12-04 16:50:47 · 13 answers · asked by ashez 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like you can't. By now if he wanted a long term relationship you would be hearing about it FROM him. Remember that it takes TWO people to form a lasting relationship.
You will either have to settle for what you have or move on, but if you continue to try to pressure him you will only cause more friction.
Not what you wanted to hear is it? Sorry
2006-12-04 16:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by ca_surveyor 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're coming on too strong and he is feeling the pressure hence the "wait and see lets be friends" attitude. It's obvious he has other things he's dealing with right now as he has already said as much. How can you be so serious about a relationship after only 6 months and just one meeting? Are you certain that he isn't seeing someone else (meaning how stuck he is with things). You need to step back and take a breather. You're emotionally in over your head to the point of sounding desperate. There is no way you can get him to commit when you are being so wanting and ready to drop everything and relocate. Sure your approach is firm alright, but is none too gentle. It's not like you are going to just creep right in without being a tad too creepy at the same time.
2006-12-05 01:15:10 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to tell you this isn't going to work, & I'll explain why.
In simple terms this guy doesn't want a serious relationship with you, certainly not right now. I think all he sees you as is an acquaintance, maybe as a friend.
For a long distance relationship to work, both people have to be fully commited. You have to have a goal of wanting to be together at some point in the future, & know when that will be. You want that, but I don't think he does.
I'm sorry, but you need to look elsewhere for the love of your life.
2006-12-05 05:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie. It sounds to me like he may not be interested anymore. I am not a man but it sounds like a couple of long distance relationships I have had. He may be interested in someone over there. I think you should bring up the topic of being exclusive with him if you have not done that already. Tell him that you are interested in more than just friends and since you have been friends for six months your ready for something more. Or you will have to go looking for someone more secure. Hun you deserve to be happy. Not hurting because a man is not ready to commit. He is 35 and he sounds like he is immature and not dont sowing his wild oats. I hope you find someone to make you happy someone who deserves that love that you want to give.
2006-12-05 01:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if nothing has happened after 6 months and he doesn't text or mail back asap! youre not going to get a relationship that youre wanting from him. Just accept that some men and women like having email or text friends and its just fun to flirt in a more serious way without taking things further, if you dont, youre bound to get hurt. It might be fun and exciting to chase a guy and be the one to always contact first.....but do you really want that from a relationship?!
2006-12-05 01:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
SIMPLE cool off a truck load, u might not realise it but even though your relationship is long distance as u say, sound like ure suffocating the poor bloke, Hey look if he wont make a decision tut sweet then dont be disheartend BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF and live l LIFE everything else will happen how u like WITH OUT pushing it :)
2006-12-05 01:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
From a man's standpoint, sounds like this guy is freaked out . Sorry., There;s no way he;s thinking marriage . You sound a little obsessed. Remeber, you've met ONLY ONCE. Step back and breathe, better yet, make some new friends closer to home. He is scared you're being so clingy.
2006-12-05 00:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by Foss 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
now, now.. you have met once and have only been in touch for 6 months.. what do u expect things to become. Man.. many things are going on for him right now, and there are guys who cannot say words that would hurt a woman.. but they will drag it on until u give up.
If i were u, i will find another man. dont find one online. find REAL ppl and dont go for men who are 35, never been married. They are also as confused as u r and dont know what to do with their marital status.
and guess what? the more u urge him to think of ur future, the further away he will go...
2006-12-05 00:56:23 · answer #8 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!
Try to look at this objectively, re read your question as though you are not emotonally involved. I think you will see the answer yourself.
1 You are way too needy, clingy, desperate!
2 He has a life away from you, do you have a life away from him?
3 What does he do when he is not communicating with you?
4 Do you trust him?
5 Has he had internet relationships before? Why didn't they succeed?
6 Get a life girl friend! There is nothing more unattractive than a girl throwing herself on a guy
Take care, I hope this helps
2006-12-05 00:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by Mandi_Moo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't get your hopes up too high, becausse it sounds like either he has lost intrust, or he has found another girl to be with. What you should do is ask him if he wants you to come and be with him, or tell him that you are on your way out there, and if he comes up with reasons why it should not happen, then you should start looking for another man.
2006-12-05 00:59:03 · answer #10 · answered by Jerome E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should chill out a bit. It sounds like he's not ready for the sort of pressure you're putting on him, you CANNOT force someone to commit who doesn't want to. That will lead to a relationship based on a pretence and I'm sure you wouldn't want that (or if you would maybe you should re-evaluate things) . btw it sounds very much like he's married...sorry. :(
2006-12-05 00:57:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋