Hello everone im 31 yrs old im gay.. Me and my hubby have been toghter for 2 yrs now.I love him with all my heart but there is something we need to work on. i wish that i could open up to him more . i know why i can not open up to him. It is besce all the guys i have dated have left me. Will there was john he was my 1st boyfriend we dated for a yr and then on night he said that he whould see my that night and i never seen him . Will then there was Darren my 1st hubby we where toghter for 5 yrs and he left . then there was my big f-up brett .. i start to open to him and when he seen that he could not get what he need for me $$ then he left me.. but the olny god sent that he give is that he let me to bill so all the guys have left me after i start to open up to them . everone tells me that he is not like that so how do i get over then fear of loseing him?
2006-12-04 16:47:54 · 8 answers · asked by nightwolf_tc2004 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Let's just put it this way: being able to be open up in a relationship is extremely important. Without honesty, there is no relationship at all. I understand what has happened to your previous relationships, but you have gotta be so glad that you are no longer with those people since they couldn't even handle the real you or what you have to say. Would you rather be with someone who cares for you enough to listen to what you have to say? The answer is yes, right?
So don't be afraid anymore. Go ahead and open up with your current husband. If he ends up leaving you like anyone else then let it be. You'd know he is not a good match. But hey, why think negative? It may not be as bad as you think. This guy may be different. Give him a chance before jumping to a conclusion.
2006-12-04 16:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nightwolf. I'm not gay, and I'm a mom with grown kids. But your problem isn't gay so much as natural insecurity. If you radiate insecurity, that might appeal to a guy who likes to feel like the strong one in a relationship. But that wears off, and then you just appear untrusting and clinging. Opening up to someone requires a two-way trust, and you don't trust your partner. You first have to find yourself LOVABLE. Ask yourself what you like about yourself, what you have to give in a relationship. And don't bounce from man to man - you aren't giving yourself time to be WITH YOURSELF (again, because you don't love yourself). So that's the first step - try to be someone who is content with who they are. That is the kind of person everyone likes to be with. Good luck.
2006-12-04 17:03:59 · answer #2 · answered by Miz Teri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could use some counseling with a pro. If you are afraid to express yourself you are eventually going to have a self fulfilled prophesy...and you won't even realize you did it.
2006-12-04 17:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by chuck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to group counseling and talk about it all with other people.Good luck.Ow , perhaps ask the Spirit of God into you. thats were I get most all my information and help
2006-12-04 16:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot control whether or not you "lose" him. However, you can control whether or not you push him away.
Some measure of risk is involved with every act of trust, and there is courage underlying every act of vulnerability.
If you require help, and this really matters to you, please seek couples counseling.
2006-12-04 16:53:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if opening up is gonna make u lose this guy then dont open what u must then hide. no law to say u MUST disclose is there now.
2006-12-04 17:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by jayomi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be who you are.... if you want some help to look for your lost mind... message me.. probably i can help a little if you like....
2006-12-04 16:53:27 · answer #7 · answered by bugi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not go gay i tell you that is wrong
2006-12-05 00:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Brett r 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋