alot of you have been so kind to her after she lost her mother to a drunk driver.one of you suggested she put glow in the dark stars on her ceiling to feel like she was looking in heaven,to be closer to her mom.she bought 10 boxes of 150 count glow stars and has her ceiling and walls covered.my sister says i should make her take them down.what do you think?i was thinking one of you might guide her to a site where she could learn to place them as if she was looking at a real model of the stars.
2006-12-04 16:39:40 · 11 answers · asked by jgmafb 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
i can't understand why this would get a thumbs down but,i know who it is.they have been harassing me lately.
anyway,i hate picking best answers for ones like this,and,i don't want my grand daughter knowing my sis wants them down.so,,,i leave the vote up to you guys.i think you're all the "best"thank you for finding a place in your hearts for a little girl you don't even know.
2006-12-05 08:58:26 · update #1
Im sorry for your loss. I found this great decorating site, it might give you ideas on how to create a little piece of heaven in your grand daughters bedroom
http://mariesmanor.fateback.com/Celestial/Bedroom.html
2006-12-04 16:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by badboy 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Taking them down might be really traumatic for her. There is no reason why she can't use them to make her feel closer to her mother as a reminder that some day they will be together again. It breaks my heart to think that about how hard it must be for her. I lost my Mother to cancer this summer and I think night time is the hardest, especially with the holidays coming up.
She was in remission and doing well, it was completely unexpected. One minute you are in the hospital for something not related to cancer and then they are telling you that you won't be going to hospice and only have a month at the most. I spent all 5 weeks with her never leaving her side. Even thought we had a chance to say goodbye it still hurts so much and I'm in my 30's. I was hit by a drunk driver 5 years ago and my children came very close to going through this themselves. It is tragic and so unfair, while I am lucky not to have lost my life, physically I will never be the same and while the person has been allowed to go on with his life, I live with pain everyday.
My children are in a grief support group for children that have lost someone close to them. It is with other children their age going through the same thing along with grief counselors. I would contact a local hospice in your area, they have social workers who will be able to find your grandaughter a group. Even though we live in a different state than she did the local hospice which wasn't even affiliated with the one she died in were happy to help me. I think it is also good for other children to know they aren't the only ones dealing with this type of situation and they are developing friends who know what they have gone through.
Don't take them down. I'm sure there should be a site on placing them in star groups. I would search under astronomy. I'm so sorry for her loss. It is just so hard but it's important she remember that her Mother is with her in her heart, no it's not the same, but I think that it is of some comfort to know she really isn't alone. Let her talk about the things she misses, talking is really the best therapy. I would also tell her the things you miss about your daughter, it will help bond you together because you are both going through such a great loss.
Is there perhaps a piece of jewelry that was special to her mom that she could wear? I have been wearing the butterfly necklace that was my mother's favorite everday since her funeral, it helps me remember she is a part of me and I'm never without her. It also helps me remember she would want me to celebrate the time we had together instead of focusing on her death. That is the best way to honor someone you have lost.
Feel free to email me anytime if I can help in any way.
2006-12-04 17:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if it gives her comfort, it's wonderful. She is right to believe in heaven. God has a special place in His heart for children who are missing one or both parents. He said He would be a Father to the fatherless, a Mother to the motherless, He's all we need. I see no reason to take them down unless the sister has more say in the matter and her reasons are something we don't know about. My nephew lost his dad at age 7. I can't recall what gave him comfort except playing with other children and nintendo games.
2006-12-04 20:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your loss. I believe that if the stars are helping your grand daughter - then the stars should stay. Everyone grieves differently and you should not allow your sister to try and decide this for your grand daughter. To arrange the stars properly sounds like a fantastic idea and their is many astrology/astronomy sights out there. Or make a daytrip to the local library with her and make a day of it. Study the heavens and the skies together and allow her to be involved in the process.
2006-12-04 16:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by smile_girl 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry but stars (glow in the dark or otherwise) are not the way forward.
I don't know what else to say. Maybe get her some therapy.
I'm assuming there is some sort of grave or something. You could try telling the grandaughter that her mum could hear her so she can speak to her anytime she wants (like a prayer) or if you think it's appropriate take her to visit the grave occasionally (but not too much) so it's not like her mother is completely gone, she can still visit her, speak to her if she wants and leave flowers or letters.
2006-12-04 16:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by Fluffy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it was good of you to put stars up for her. At that age, that is a good idea, I think. It seems as if your sister's attitude is more like, "Gosh, the kid should get over it already!"... The stars may indeed be comforting to her. Leave them unless the granddaughter says they keep her from getting rest or she wants them down. If she finds it hard to go to sleep with so many stars, maybe take half or so of them down and put them away for a while. You had the right idea :) In my culture (Potawatomi Indian/Native American), I would teach her that she can communicate in a way with her mother... I don't know how you might go about this, but maybe before she goes to bed, I would teach her that she can talk to her mom or send up thoughts to her, much like she might do to God or Jesus?.. and if she listens carefully, she can hear her mom speaking back to her. Indeed, she will learn to listen to her conscience. Not sure if this is right for you and your granddaughter, but I hope I helped.
2006-12-04 16:46:53 · answer #6 · answered by potawatomikwe87 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i think she should keep them up no matter what i don't see what the big deal is..i feel for her..i would give her a big hug lets see here she needs the solar system ..my suggestion go to Target and get the ones that come with pics of the solar system stars and constellations
okay try this
http://phoenixrising.2cuk.co.uk/images/constellations.jpg
2006-12-04 16:47:05 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would never take them down, and I think that is a wonderful story, there really are some great people on here.
2006-12-04 16:45:31 · answer #8 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why take them down? I think its lovely.
2006-12-04 17:23:54 · answer #9 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thatz sad too let go off a love one i think you should leave them up and mabey let her decerate her room how she wantz it...good luck..my fingers are crossed for you.
2006-12-04 16:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋