I've Been Married for 5 years And We've Been Together For 10 Years, After 7 Years We Started To Grow Apart, So How Do You Rekindle The Love We Once Had?
2006-12-04 16:29:25 · 10 answers · asked by wise4ever1010 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There is the initial dating and courtship and infatuation period. If the relationship continues, it settles into a more stable time of building a history as a couple.
If children enter the picture, that is a new phase. Later, there is another phase of being together as a mature couple with the wisdom of experience.
We all know that it is possible to keep passion, romance, excitement and sexual intensity alive through the years, but we also know that many relationships settle into a kind of friendly (or not so friendly) roommate situation. Every relationship has it’s ups and downs, but there are tools that can keep passion perking right along. Here are 10 of them:
1. Be kind - Have you noticed and it’s fascinating to watch people grouch at their spouses, then turn around and share a friendly smile with a stranger. We tend to take family and best friends for granted. A smile, a wink, just a moment of kindness goes a long way.
2. Be attentive - Paying attention to the details of life is important. Pick up your own trash, and pick up for each other. Put things away, help each other with the small projects around the house. These things are the currency of love.
3. Be gracious - Small surprises can create huge rewards in a relationship. Taking a moment to put on a clean shirt before dinner, or using the good china, or cutting a flower from the garden and putting it on the table, are examples. All these things add color, spice, and graciousness to our lives.
4. Be patient - We all have bad days. It happens. When it happens to your spouse, be smart! Take the kids to the park for an hour, order Chinese take-out for dinner. Give him/her a break! This is the reality of life. Allow for it.
5. Be honest - Tell the truth about your feelings, and do it promptly and in a respectful, effective way. Share your disappointments and fears, but also share dreams, hopes, and gratitude's. Keeping secrets kills passion.
6. Be funny - Life seems to have supply its own stress and worry, but we have to provide the humor on our own. Share a joke, take time to tickle each other or rent a funny movie, and do it often. The couple that laughs together, often does other fun stuff together, too!
7. Be flexible - Over a lifetime, people change. Hopefully, your relationship will change and grow and mature with as you change. One of you will change careers, the other will change religions. One will have an illness, the other will make a mistake. Relationships either bend and flex with the winds of life, or they break.
8. Be generous - Surprise each other with flowers, candy, a card, or other gift. Do it often. Do it for no particular reason. Do it because you love each other and thought it would be nice to show it with a gift.
9. Be available - "Take time for each other". Schedule time to walk and talk, go for drives in the country, go to dinner and see a movie together. Dozens of couples ranked time together as the most critical component in keeping romance and passion alive.
10. Be physical - This is about sensuality perhaps more than sexuality. Couples talk about the importance of scents, of candles and flowers and walks on the beach, about making love, but mostly they about back rubs and holding hands, and creating memories. They talk about getting dressed up and going out, and about being playful and finding their own way. You can do this!
Someone has said, "Life is what happens while you were making other plans." Romance is about real life, not about dreams and fantasies of the perfect partner, someday on a Pacific island. Romance and passion are about taking time to enjoy the company of the person you love. Have fun. Do it today
Good Luck>r
2006-12-04 17:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by Rahul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Together read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages." It's a simple book with a lot to give to married couples who need to rekindle their love and relationship. This is not a "how to sex book" because personal touch is only one of the of the five languages. Wish I had read it 20 years ago.
2006-12-05 00:34:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to start doing some of the same things you did when you first met him, even if they seem corny now or you actually think you are too old to do them now. A good idea would be to get away for the weekend-just the two of you with no interruptions. You have to make time for each other and communicate always.
2006-12-05 00:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's unrealistic to capture that first love feeling again. However, do something different to liven up the relationship, go out to a play, or go dancing with friends. Take a long drive and have sex all day in a hotel. Things will improve when you leave the troubles of daily life behind you once in a while.
2006-12-05 00:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do some of the old things you did. Be spontaneous and act like you are trying to win his love all over again-because technically you are. Do cute little things, go out on a date and act like it is your first time meeting-try it in a bar-he walks up to you and trys to talk to you, you kind of shy and all that good stuff.Bring SEXY to the bedroom-lingerie.Go beyond and out the norm.Let him come home to find you in nothing but a robe or something I did one day came in my sexy,sexy dress with nothing under heels on and it worked.What man wouldn't love that? Works in the movies.
2006-12-05 00:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by RoxieC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something extreemly romantic for your spouse. Be selfless for a change. Make it all about the other person, and ask were they see your relationship going. Tell that person that you really love him/her, but you feel you're drifting away. Ask what you personally can do to bridge the gap between you. Don't point fingers!
2006-12-05 00:32:51 · answer #6 · answered by Firm_Cross 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' (John Gray).. it's a great book with wonderful ideas on relationships, and why love dies out etc.etc...
(or see a marriage counsellor for some ideas?)
2006-12-05 00:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by just me.. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya'll gotta find some room for kink in your life. Make it steamy and interesting.10 years is a long time
2006-12-05 01:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by sabotagecowboy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing says I love you like an expensive watch..
2006-12-05 00:32:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
renew your vows
2006-12-05 00:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by Megan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋